Hi, this is Paul Friedman. I'm the founder of The Marriage Foundation and we put
together this short mini marriage counseling series in order to help
people with things that are not marriage breakers, marriage busters. But these
things come up from time to time, people could use a little bit
of good advice. They don't really need to see marriage counseling, they don't need
to get into their home marriage. If your marriage is a little bit bumpy or
something you could read one of my two books either Breaking the Cycle or
Lessons for a Happy Marriage. They're both great, they cover so many real aspects of
real marriage holistically. If your marriage is in real trouble
and you're trying to sort of skirt the issue and you're going, "Oh no, it's just
this one little thing." Don't fool yourself, take the courses that I have.
There's one for men, one for women they will really change your life. The books
probably will too. They've changed many lives and helped many families. So this
video is on in-laws, what a topic, right?
It's not unusual for there to be a problem with your in-laws and it could
be that your in-laws have a problem with you. The biggest mistake that people make
in the in-law department is that they try to be right and they complain to
their spouse about their in-laws putting their spouse in the middle.
You cannot just write off your parents even though your spouse would like you
to sometimes. Your parents are your parents. They did for you what no one
else on the planet ever would have done for you. They put up with your stuff when
you are a baby, a toddler, and yes, even a teenager. And the spouse
who's having the problem with an in-law should recognize this.
They're so vested in their child just like you are vested in your children. So
people forget and that's why I'm bringing this up. They forget that it's
as important to develop a relationship with their in-laws as it can be. Now, does
that mean you move in with them? No, you have your own life, you have your own
marriage. And I have heard we get it many times especially in some cultures where
the husband insists on sort of making a bigger family which may be fine in India
and other places but in the United States it's a little bit different. In
those cases look, you knew when you were getting married what you were getting
into. Now, you're not going to be able to change it I'm here to tell you. So I
don't want you to suck things up, what I want you to do, I should change that
because you're not my client. But what you really would do much better doing is
creating a relationship with them that is loving and respectful and not
stuffing your problems with them but getting rid of those problems. Do not
allow your mind to run away with you describing them as however it is you're
describing them. You have to accept reality for what it is. Your role as a
spouse is to love your spouse with all of your heart, mind, and soul. Right. They
come with baggage, it could be that part of their baggage is their parents. We all
have baggage but it doesn't do any good to point out a person's baggage
especially when that package is their parents so that's really it. Now look, if
you want to get deeper into this, write to our counselors it's a free service
that we have for everybody, anytime. You just write to us and someone will get
back to you and they'll help you understand, something help you get
through it, maybe give you a technique or something in your particular situation
which will be unique. Every situation is unique, but we're here to help you that's
all we want to do. I formed The Marriage Foundation as a nonprofit in order to
help people and spread our teachings all over the world. So far we're in over 30
countries and we're doing fine this is our gift to you so take advantage of it.
Now, if you like this video if you like so many other videos share it with
people. Like it. Let people know we're here and we are here for you. Alright
that's it. Blessings, thank you for your time.