-We brought you this birthday --
-This is -- This is from me.
-Is this for my birthday? -It's her birthday.
She loves unicorns. We've had this talk.
-Well, uh, all right.
-I -- We can share it. -That wasn't awkward at all.
-There you go. -Happy birthday.
-Thank you. Oh, thank you so -- Oh, wow.
This is a -- -It's not a fire hazard at all.
-Thank you. Thank you so much! I'm going to make a wish.
-Yes.
-♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
-You're so sweet. -♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Lilly ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
-Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much!
[ Cheers and applause ] Let me make a wish.
Let me make a wish. Oh, you're already here.
Look at that. It already came true.
-Cute! -Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. [ Cheers and applause ]
I'm so excited you're both here.
-Thank you. -Oh, thank you.
-Have you two ever met, or do you know each other or...?
-A lot of people don't know we were married for --
what was it --
-It was -- We did our best.
-We did our best, but, frankly, I grew out of him.
You know? But, no, happy birthday!
-Thank you. -So, this is a big deal.
I mean, it's strange for me
'cause I'm obviously the youngest here.
But that's exciting.
And a beautiful picture of the dog and then --
-Thank you. My son and my love together.
-That's right. -Yes, correct.
-I love french fries, too.
-Before we get started... -Yes.
-...I have -- I have a little concern.
-Okay. -Yes.
-Jim. -Yes?
-Do you remember March 16, 2016?
-[ Laughs ] What do we have here?
-March 16, 2016? -Yep.
Antoni Porowski, pre-"Queer Eye,"
auditioned for a little old show called "The Jim Gaffigan Show."
-Ooh!
-Oh, and you auditioned?
-As Polish Hipster Number One. -And you didn't --
Well, we did -- -I didn't get it.
I never heard back. Never got feedback.
Which is very troubling for actors
when you don't get feedback, because we want validation.
And I just wanted to know. Like, did I get it? "A."
And then, "B," if not, why? I assume it's the latter.
-Well, to be honest, your performance was stunning.
-Okay. -But we were -- we were --
We didn't know what to do, so we just -- He was great.
Uh... -I feel like I should leave.
-No, but it was interesting because we ended up casting
this guy who did Russian instead of Polish.
-Fair. The line was, in Polish, "I'm tired of you Americans.
I'm going back to Poland where it's safe."
-That's right. -Do you remember how to say it?
-[ speaking Polish ]
-I'm sold. I mean, I am sold. Come on.
-I felt it was believable.
-Poland invented vodka and pierogis.
-That's correct.
-What more do you need? -Not much else in life.
-So, aside from this moment,
you also have something else in common.
You both live in New York. Is that correct?
-Yes. -And, so, tell us, you know --
I live in L.A. I lived in Toronto previously.
I've never lived in New York.
Is New York life as glamorous as we see in the rom-coms?
Like, what is like living in New York?
-[ Laughs ]
That's a very loaded question. -Yes.
I don't -- I mean, I, personally --
I love the fact that it's a filthy mess.
You don't feel pressure to -- I don't know. Yeah, no.
I've had, you know, some pretty awkward experiences.
-Do tell.
-Well, I -- You know, there was a New Year's Eve.
I was walking home after doing a show,
you know, 'cause getting a cab was very awkward.
This was back in the '90s.
I know I look too young to have been doing stand-up in the '90s.
-Pre-Uber. -And it was way pre-Uber.
And I was -- And there was this area --
Houston Street used to be filled with, let's say, prostitutes.
And I was walking home. -"Let's say" or "prostitutes"?
-And I -- Yes, definitely prostitutes.
-Ladies of the night. -Okay.
-And I saw this lady of the night look at me,
and I was kind of depressed, and I was like, "Well,
at least this prostitute is gonna flirt with me."
And she ran across Houston Street,
which is, like, five lanes, and right in front of me.
She went past me, went to a truck stop.
I mean, not a -- Went to a bus stop,
dropped her pants, and relieved herself.
[ Laughter ]
-So I, continuing on with that --
-I hate when that happens, though.
-It's the worst. -Relatable. Relatable.
-She looked at me, and she was like, "You know what?
That's where I'm going to go to the bathroom."
-Didn't go where you planned. -Well, what about you?
-So, we just finished.
We wrapped in Philadelphia of our next season of "Queer Eye."
And I was driving back with all of my stuff.
You know, like, when you drive up to New York,
it's this beautiful city with this skyline,
and you see the Freedom Tower, and it's just like,
"I live in the greatest city in the world."
And then I pull onto my street,
and as I'm driving by, there's this guy.
And this is right in front of a police, like, a precinct,
in front of two cop cars.
Lowers his pants
and just fully takes a dump on a piece of cardboard.
-Yes.
-Do you not have toilets in New York?!
-Folds it up, gets up, and walks away.
Apparently not.
We don't have as many Starbuckses as you guys have.
-In my defense, I had to go.
You know?
[ Laughter ]
It was -- When you have to go...
But it is.
Being from Toronto, it is, like, the opposite of Toronto.
Toronto, it just seems like --
I've never even seen a wrapper on the street in Toronto.
-Go, Canada. -We have Drake. He's a rapper.
Anyways -- Ha! [ Cheers and applause ]