Welcome to
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I'm Trevor Noah.
My guest tonight, here to talk about his new movie,
King Arthur,
-(cheering, applause) -Such a big fan of his.
And, uh, speaking of kings, my friends,
Trump's getting closer.
♪ ♪
Breaking news: Jim Comey is out at the FBI.
NEWSWOMAN:
It says, "Today, President Donald J. Trump
informed FBI director James Comey
that he has been terminated and removed from office.
Wow.
Trump fired the FBI director.
Like, you... you can't just fire the FBI director.
Like, I mean, if he's gone, who's gonna investigate
Russia's ties to-- oh...
(laughter, shouts, applause)
(audience whooping)
And you know what? You know what?
Like, I know we said Trump was an African dictator, right?
But right now, but right now, even Africans are watching this,
going, "Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo."
They're like, "Wow, Donald Trump does not (bleep) around, ah?"
(laughter)
Guys, you understand, this is a blockbuster.
It's still breaking, and tomorrow we'll know much more.
We're gonna cover it on the show.
But I just have to share with you
the reason that Trump is giving for firing Comey.
Right? Because there's no other way to describe it.
It is... it's a master stroke.
Right? This... this is...
this is the Trump administration's explanation
for firing the head of the FBI.
This is what they say. Uh... the memo says,
"I cannot defend the director's handling
"of the conclusion of the investigation
of Secretary Clinton's e-mails."
And another part of it says,
"We do not hold press conferences
"to release derogatory information
about the subject of a declined criminal investigation."
This is insane.
Do you understand the excuse Trump is giving?
Trump is basically saying he's doing this
because of what Comey did to Hillary.
That is the most gangsta excuse I've ever come...
Basically, Trump is going... (like Trump): I'm doing this
to clear my good friend, crooked Hillary...
(laughter, applause)
-(audience whooping) ...because James Comey...
James Comey, folks...
Comey clearly just wanted to lock her up,
lock her up,
lock her up, folks.
(laughter)
I'm... I'm not surprised, though.
I'm genuinely not surprised that President Trump
has taken such drastic action.
Because once again he's facing new questions on the cloud
that has been looming over his entire presidency.
No, no, no, not that. Not that.
No, no, no, no. No, not that.
Try again. No. Uh-uh.
No, no. Va... ?
Vagina neck?
(cheering and applause)
No. Wait, wait. I'm s...
I'm sorry.
What the hell is vagina neck?
(cheering and applause)
Oh.
Oh, wow. Okay.
All right.
That's a pre-existing condition.
Go back, go back.
Go back. Yeah, Russia.
That's what I was talking about, Russia, obviously.
That's what we're talking about, Russia.
Get that image out of your head.
Russia.
The Comey thing makes sense,
because all of it is building up on Donald Trump.
Think about it, yesterday, former Acting Attorney General
Sally Yates was called to testify before the Senate.
And if you don't remember Sally Yates,
she was the well-respected Obama holdover who Trump fired,
after she refused to defend his Muslim ban in court.
Which, in my opinion, is the best thing
to have on your resume, you know?
It's just like, "I see you were fired by Donald Trump
for being too ethical, you know."
Like, "That's right, that's right.
"And you were also fired from Trader Joe's?
Yeah, I licked all the apples."
(laughter)
But you see, there was another reason the Trump administration
has a beef with Sally Yates.
She's also the person who first sounded the alarm
about Trump National Security Advisor Michael Flynn,
and his deep connections to Russia.
A decision that she still stood by in yesterday's hearing.
What did you tell the White House?
YATES: Okay. So I told them again that there were
a number of press accounts,
of statements that had been made by the vice president
about General Flynn's conduct that we knew to be untrue.
And the Russians also knew that General Flynn
had misled the vice president and others.
And that created a compromise situation,
a situation where the national security advisor,
essentially, could be blackmailed by the Russians.
To state the obvious,
you don't want your national security advisor
compromised with the Russians.
Yeah. I'm just gonna put it out there and say
you don't want anything compromised by the Russians.
Right? No one wants to add the Russians to anything.
There's no situation where anyone ever says,
"You know what this birthday party needs?
Russian influence."
(with Russian accent): Yes. I make balloon horse,
"but we have to boil for soup.
Happy birthday."
(regular voice): Like,
you would never want your national security advisor
compromised by the Russians,
unless your name is Donald J. Trump.
TV REPORTER:
and a phone call with White House counsel Don McGahn
about Michael Flynn's conversation
with the Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak.
We were giving them all of this information
so that they could take action.
TV REPORTER:
the White House waited more than two weeks to fire Flynn.
Part of me thinks the reason Trump took so long
to fire Flynn, is because he spends so little time
in the White House, he didn't know which room he's in.
He's just running, running around like,
(as Trump): "You're fired.
Sorry, Steve, sorry.
You're fir-- sorry, Ivanka, sorry.
Wh-where is the room with the Flynn?
Where is that room?
No. You're fir-- No, you're fir-- Oh, it's Thursday.
I got to go back to Mar-A-Lago, guys.
I don't know where anything is.
All right, good-bye.
Wait. You're fired, no, you're fired.
No, you're fired. No, you're--
(regular voice): The president's fighting
with the mirror again, everybody!
(as Trump): You're fired. Who is this guy?
You're fired.
(regular voice): Mr. President, we got to go.
(as Trump): No, you're fir-- hold on.
He's a tough negotiator.
You're fired! You're fired.
(regular voice): Mr. President, we got to go.
(as Trump): Okay. We should hire this guy.
I'll see you later, I'll see you later.
(regular voice): That's probably what happened.
(cheers and applause)
So that could be the reason it took too long to fire Flynn,
or, or it could be
that despite Flynn being a confirmed
national security threat,
Trump had no intention of letting him go,
because it would look bad.
And the only reason Flynn was ever fired,
was that two weeks later The
broke the story of his ties to Russia.
Trump doesn't care about national security for (bleep),
but he will not tolerate a PR problem.
And what makes this matter worse
is that Trump was warned about Flynn
even before he hired him,
by Flynn's pervious employer.
REPORTER:
just two days after he was elected,
when the two men met in the Oval Office.
REPORTER 2:
would be wise to stay away.
Mr. Trump aides say he was suspicious
of Mr. Obama's motives in coming forward.
So, Sally Yates and Obama warned Trump
but he didn't listen.
Although I'm not surprised that Donald Trump
doesn't listen to women or black people.
Look, no one knows for sure
how deep the Trump-Russia tie goes. Right?
What we do know...
what we do know is every single time
the subject of Russia comes up, Trump gets nervous.
And you can tell that he's nervous
because he tweets.
A lot.
That's basically his tell.
Like, if you're ever playing poker with Trump,
just check his Twitter. That's all you got to do.
You'll see a tweet: "I raise, but I only have ten deuce,
"he's gonna fold.
#bluffing, so much bluffing."
In fact, in fact, Donald Trump didn't just tweet.
This Russia thing got to him so much,
to show you how much it rattled his cage, in fact,
he even changed his Twitter banner
to quote his own tweets.
Yeah.
Which is the lamest thing a Twitter person can do,
let's be honest. Like, that's worse
than liking your own tweet, worse than
retweeting your own tweet,
worse than following Scott Baio,
worse than all of those things.
That is, like, the worst thing that you can do.
So, you know what, congratulations, Sally Yates,
you did to Trump
what North Korea, Syria
and even James Comey couldn't do:
you got Trump shook in his one safe space.
And that's, um,
how would I put this...
sad.