in this video you're gonna learn five mistakes that we all make when it comes
to decluttering and what you can do about them you're gonna want to stick
with me until the end because I have an incredible declutter challenge it's
absolutely free and I would love for you to join me details on that at the end if
you're ready to love parenting and parent from love flower let's subscribe
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me back here every Monday hi I'll be Tull of a mindful parenting coach and
mother of four and I absolutely love talking about presence peace and play
and reclaiming those for you and your family today I'm gonna share five ways
we sabotage any decluttering that we want to do and I'm going to share what
you can do about it if you're ready to declutter hit that
like button and let's get started number one thinking it's one and done people
often tell me but I decluttered last year and they think that they're done
decluttering now I know there are lots of different methodologies out there and
some of them think that it is one and done but what I've seen with my clients
is that that's simply not the case especially when there are young children
around and especially if you live in a seasonal place things come in and out of
your life in a pretty rapid pace kids bring home more and more art projects or
every time you go to the dentist they're given another little toy babysitter's
friends and well-meaning family members bring lots of gifts that sometimes you
don't want in your home or maybe you yourself are buying all sorts of stuff
that you eventually realize you don't want that's okay the most important step
here is to forgive yourself all of that and realize that decluttering is not one
and done it's an ongoing process so yes there might be one major declutter of
every different category or room in your house but you're going to need to
continue in your decluttering efforts all the time because things are coming
in to your home all the time and equally they need to be leaving your
home as your children outgrow certain things certain toys become irrelevant or
things break those are the times that you're going to want to keep and can
ually get those things out of your sacred space so please don't worry
yourself if things continue to accumulate of course we all want to
watch our consumption habits and try to limit the things that we don't want
coming in from coming in but we also have to forgive that this is the type of
culture we live in and it's going to happen
I keep a continual decluttering gangster bag on the go always there I'm always
working it whenever I see things that we no longer need is going in there on the
regular for me that's the only way to make it work and I've seen that that's
true for so many of the parents that I work with
number two is decluttering in front of your kids now this is a complex one and
of course it depends on your lifestyle on whether your kids are with you 24/7
and on the type of kitten you have some kids are really okay letting go of stuff
they bless it and they move on and some parents manage to teach their kids about
decluttering in a way that feels good to both of them but when you want to do a
real declutter a big overhaul it's going to be challenging with most kids at
least from my experience most kids are going to say ah I need to hold on to
that suddenly the toys that you've seen they haven't played with in over a year
become their most prized possession but I love the little plastic teddy bear
right and then it becomes very difficult because we don't want to take away
something that they say they love but in truth and in essence they haven't
touched that I've taken any interest in it for years and they probably would
never again and they might not even notice that it's gone now if your child
is the kind of child that does notice and does care then of course you need to
communicate with them when you're decluttering their belongings and then I
would absolutely say hey baby here's the space that we have for your things for
your treasures or for your toys or for your artwork for your clothes and when
this becomes full I'm gonna get rid of the stuff that you don't seem to be
using if there's something that you really never want me to get rid of let
me know of course I won't but on the whole we need to keep our home tidy we
need to keep our possessions only to the things that we like to use so that our
home feels good to us and that we don't create a lot of mess and other people
can enjoy these things it makes space for us to enjoy the next things
that come into our home too so I absolutely think we should be teaching
our kids and putting language around that and we should be transparent and
authentic it's not that you should sneak behind their back
but as long as you're actually communicating to all the children at
least that this is something that happens and you can let them know hey
I'm gonna be decluttering next week let me know if there's anything that is out
of balance of course you're never gonna take any of
their prized possessions but if it's stuff that's been lying around for a
long time no one's taken interest of all its stuff that's adding bad energy to
your home like things that have a million little pieces and is always a
mess around it you take the liberty as the leader of the home to make that
decision so you can communicate it to your child but I recommend doing it when
they're not there if they're that type of kid at least right at least for me
that's how it works when my kids are there I can do some decluttering but I
can't do really in-depth you know work in other people's homes or in my own
when there are children standing there saying no I love this I love that
because it's not real it's a holding feel feeling that comes up it's a
fear-based feeling of like they're gonna take everything from me
but the truth is that we have to focus on what we gain by the excetera we gain
space we gain focus we gain a sense of soothing you know enjoyable beautiful
space for ourselves and that's what we want to focus on with our children so
it's not that I'm taking away the stuff that you love is that I'm clearing your
space so you can focus on the things that you do love leading on from that
point point number three not donating the stuff immediately you've got to get
it out ASAP because if you don't as I said before suddenly your children will
find it and be like this is my best thing ever and you yourself will start
to have your doubts creeping in again oh but maybe I will use this one day maybe
these pants will fit me again maybe I do like those shoes after all when you
leave things around you start to get doubtful about it they start to creep
right back in and all of your hard work went for nowt and you never got that
satisfying feeling of truly clearing space whether you're selling it on eBay
donating it to your local Salvation Army or whatever
that you're doing try and do it in a timely fashion at the very least put it
in your car if you have one to symbolize yourself that this is no longer part of
your home this is no longer yours maybe make that call to the pickup company
that comes from the charity to pick up the bags try to get it out quicker
rather than later because otherwise it's gonna migrate back in to your stuff and
you'll feel like I'm never decluttering again it doesn't work anyway
number four is going down the what if a rabbit hole you know the one what if I
need this one day what if it fits me one day what if the person who gave me this
find out that I gave it away what if I regret this what if I need to buy it
again what if it could work what if I could fix it what if I could patch it up
the what if rabbit hole is every declutter is worst nightmare because
you're trying to make space in your knife and you're trying to be
intentional and only have the stuff that you want but this is just this massive
sense of doubt that you're doing it wrong and you shouldn't do it in the
first place because what if the key were the what-if is to remember that it's a
survival mechanism right it's that hoarding mentality we could hold on to
it because maybe there'll be a famine maybe there'll be a dry drought and we
will need these things in some capacity I think it's better energetically
speaking to trust that we will have the exact things we need as we need them I
know that many of us didn't have that experience so we don't know that in our
brains we don't feel that in our body we don't trust that we'll have what we
needed so we hold on to the things that we frankly don't need you've got to
address those stories and those limiting beliefs and learn to let go because
you'll find that the beautiful experience of letting go holds its own
gems as well when you hold on to stuff it might feel like security and it might
feel like safety but it might also be slavery and enslavement into holding you
back in a prior version of yourself a prior version of your values or body or
taste or size or finances that isn't true anymore you've got to let yourself
evolve and you've got to let yourself send that message to the universe and to
those around you that you're ready for the next level ready for
the next iteration now this isn't a ploy for consumerism I'm not saying you
should keep buying more I'm saying don't hold on to the things that aren't you
anymore allow those things out allow them to serve someone else and allow
something else to come in in its place you can trust that you will have the
things that you need because you are a creative capable individual and
hopefully you can create that sense of safety within you and if there is a odd
thing that you regret letting go of something that you did declutter that
you probably shouldn't have remember that you gain something by that as well
first of all you learn an important lesson you took things a little bit too
far and you learn where your edges and what is important to you and second of
all in that decluttering spree you made space you got rid of things you created
minimalism and soothed your environment so yes you got rid of something that you
wish you hadn't it happens but on the other hand you got rid of a lot of
things that you did need to do and probably that outweighs the cost and
finally don't take on too much at once when we decide we're ready to declutter
we sometimes take on our entire house or all of the toys are all of the clothes
and it becomes too much you get overwhelmed and then you give up without
experiencing any sense of success and then you're never gonna do it again
because it was too hard and you failed at it anyway so if you want my
step-by-step declutter guide I've created a PDF for you and in fact a
challenge where I'm gonna hold your hand and we as a community are going to
declutter together I'm so excited it's a free challenge and I want you to sign up
if you check out the description box below you'll find a link when you sign
up you're gonna get a video all about this decluttering and my story behind it
and some of my personal truths here and it's a little vulnerable to share but I
want to because this is so important to me and I believe in it so much plus
you're gonna get some really practical step
step guides on what to do next so that you can experience success right now now
if you're watching this sometime in the future this challenge might be over and
I'm sorry but you can still follow the link in the description box below to be
notified next time we're running this challenge now's the time to leave me a
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other parents who might find this useful find it so thank you so very much
and I would love to see you inside that challenge today now you're gonna win the
slam on that subscribe button because here's what's coming next week we're
talking about another favorite topic of mine if you've spent all this money and
energy on buying lots of beautiful toys for your kids and they're not playing
without all this video is thank you