- I'm sure you know of someone going like
"how you feeling?" and--
- You just wanna stab 'em.
Yeah. (laughing)
- She's like you know--
- You wanna be like "that's how".
- I threw up all day and then they go like
"have you tried ginger?" And then I have to hold their back
it's just like "I'm (beep)"
- Oh my god, oh my god, I know!
(piano playing)
- So any parenting advice you have,
because you're like a superstar mom?
- I am not.
- Yes you are.
- I have literally been this week going back and forth
with my crew going "I feel like a failure",
cause they're acting, there's just behavioral kinda things
happening, and I feel like,
with like 2 out of 4 children, that's not a good percentage.
(laughing)
- You know, and that's why I wrote you a card,
I was like, you know what, some days you're gonna
completely bawl and drink a lot of wine in a bathroom alone
and pray, and then other days will be great.
- See, I do those things already though.
(laughing)
(piano playing)
- I'm sure you know of someone going like
"how you feeling?" and--
- You just wanna stab 'em.
Yeah. (laughing)
- She's like you know--
- You wanna be like "that's how".
- I threw up all day and they they go like
"have you tried ginger?" And then I have to hold their back
'cause it's just like "I'm (beep)"
- Oh my god, oh my god, I know!
Every person was like "have you tried this?",
"have you tried that?"
And I'm like, do you not think I haven't tried everything?
I have tried everything legal.
- It's really--
Like, I'm seriously considering illegal.
(laughing)
(piano playing)
- Oh, are you potty training?
- I have not slept, I hadn't had a puppy in a long time,
my last dog rescue was as adult dog
and I don't know whose idea this was,
I guess it was mine, but she's really lovely and great,
except for like two hours of the day
where she just turns into a demon.
- You know what? You've had your first official
real child, as well.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Because that's how that works.
- That's exactly right.
- You're like "how are you the same human?"
(laughter)
Yeah, just you know what, have a glass of wine, daily.
- At 8 in the morning?
- Yeah, it's fine, it's five o'clock somewhere.
- Exactly.
(piano playing)
- 'Cause I share so much intimate stuff about my life,
I think people feel like they should share with me,
one was like "sometimes I hide in my car down the street
so I don't have to see my kids"
(laughing)
- You know what, okay, that one I understand.
(piano playing)
- Cause I have a teenage boy, - Yeah.
- In my house, so how do you
even wanna go in there, in that mind?
- Well, you know what's so funny, is when I start
to do his voice he (grunting)
does a lot of, like, he's all frustrated, like
- Yeah.
- "Everything is so lame".
- Yeah, I'm having PTSD right now.
- Yes, and then he feels like (grunting)
to the smallest thing,
to take the dish to the sink takes forever.
- Yeah, I simply ask you to rinse it off,
- It's so exhausting.
- I didn't ask you to walk on the moon.
(laughing)
(piano playing)
- That is so nasty, but you know what's worse?
Walking in and your son, that's right Remi, calling you out
for the future when you're twenty
and this comes back to haunt you,
playing in his poop that he found in his diaper
and it is rubbed in kinda like so,
except for it was around the crib
and it was all the way around it.
Yeah, it was not cool.
That was the time I was like
"why couldn't this be my nanny's time
to come in and get him, why was it mine?"
(crying)
Anyway, that stinks.
(piano playing)
(crowd clapping)
- This is my favorite girl in the world.
Hey, come here little boy, hi!
(crowd cheering drowns out speaker)
- Hi!
(faintly speaking)
- All right, can y'all say hi?
- Hi!
- You wanna say hi?
- Hi!
- All right, I love you two, thank you for
visiting me at work.
- Thank you!
- All right, I'll see y'all at home, okay?
- Okay.
- Hey, can I get kisses?
(kissing)
- And one more kiss.
(kissing)
- And one more kiss.
(kissing) - I love you, say bye!
(crowd cheering)