- So this video is all about how to speak up
in either a meeting at work or in an interview
or in a situation
where you would normally be uncomfortable
to speak up in front of other people.
So if that's you,
and you are normally hesitant
to speak up in a group of people, this video is for you,
so stay tuned.
(easy jazz music)
First of all,
the reason why we're afraid to speak up in a group of people
is because we're afraid
that we're going to be judged, right.
We're afraid that
the worst case scenario is going to happen.
And whatever that worst case scenario is for you,
whether it be somebody shooting down your idea,
you being ignored, somebody saying like,
counteracting your idea or disagreeing with you,
or whatever that worst case scenario is for you,
or even people just,
you're afraid of people
just silently judging what you're saying,
that is the reason why we don't speak up.
There's also a very clear reason why we want to speak up
because we want to have our idea heard,
and we want the best case scenario,
which is everybody thinks the idea is great.
It contributes to the meeting,
maybe they even take the idea,
and you get to have a positive feeling.
And so what happens to so many of us
is that we get caught up
in the worst case scenario that could happen
and then we don't speak up.
And then we stay quiet,
and then the compounding effect of staying quiet
over and over and over again,
leads us to not getting
to where we want to get to in our career.
And so I've had some people say,
"Yeah, but I'll go tell the person one-on-one later,"
or "I'll go do this," or "I'll find other ways around it."
But the truth is,
you're never gonna have as big of an impact
as if you were to have the courage
to speak up in a meeting with your idea
and be willing to have that idea flop
or be willing to feel something negative
when your idea isn't, or the response isn't what you wanted.
Well what happens is,
is that when you don't give yourself a chance
to speak up and have that idea,
then you don't ever give yourself the chance
to see whether or not your idea was going to move forward
with how you thought it would, right.
And so you rob yourself of any opportunity
or any chance you had of actually seeing whether or not
your idea was going to actually contribute
and do something and make a difference, right,
and there was always the possibility that it definitely was.
But as long as you're focusing on the possibility
that somebody might judge you
or somebody might disagree with you,
then you will never speak up,
and then you will never have the opportunity to see
whether or not your idea was worth it,
was worthwhile or not, right.
And so as somebody who's spoken up a lot of times,
I can tell you that sometimes it works,
and sometimes it doesn't.
So what I would encourage you to do
is decide whether or not you wanna own your idea,
and if you do, and be willing to put it out there,
and have somebody judge it or disagree with it
or open a discussion around it,
and that's just gonna take some courage on your part.
It'll be like, okay, I understand that this might happen,
but it's uncomfortable either way.
It's uncomfortable to sit back and not say it,
but then it's also uncomfortable to say it
and then see what happens, right.
At least the other way, you're actually moving forward.
So that's the problem why we don't do it,
and the reason why it's a problem is,
because if you wanna move forward in your career,
speaking up with your ideas
is gonna be a main contributing factor
as to whether or not you get seen, your ideas get heard,
you get to contribute and help move forward
your department, your team, your organization, right.
And also you are paid to give your ideas.
You're there, they want your ideas good or bad, right.
And not everybody has 100% good ideas all the time, nobody.
Everybody has to have bad ideas and good ideas,
and that's why a collaborative discussion is very helpful
around a good idea or a bad idea.
A discussion is always going to lead somewhere,
and you're always gonna learn something from it.
And it's always gonna be more useful
to put that idea out there
and see what happens versus not right,
because then you don't even give yourself
the chance to move forward.
You don't even give yourself the chance
to be heard or to be seen.
And it is all out of fear, my friend,
that you don't do that.
Second, I want you to picture yourself in the future,
where you wanna be in your career.
So if right now, you are a coordinator,
and you wanna be a manager,
or you're a manager, and you wanna be a director,
I want you to picture yourself in the future.
And how do you, in the future,
how do you respond in meetings?
How do you speak in meetings?
How do you speak in interviews,
and how are you taking the courage
to speak up with your ideas, whether they be hit or misses?
And are you willing to accept it,
if maybe your idea doesn't land
or maybe not the whole thing, maybe part of it right?
And then noticing
that it's not the end of the world, right.
So even leaders have bad ideas, right,
even top marketing executives have bad ideas.
And sometimes they have to put them out into the world,
and sometimes it costs companies millions of dollars
because somebody had a bad idea, and they acted on it.
These things happen all the time,
and you'll never get to know
how you are gonna grow into your position
and how you're gonna learn,
unless you have the courage
to put your idea forth into the world.
What I recommend is that you prepare yourself, right.
You say, okay, I'm gonna put this idea forward.
And then whatever, you're afraid of, write it down.
Be like, I'm afraid my boss is gonna knock it down.
I'm afraid my colleague's gonna disagree.
I'm afraid Jenny's gonna say, it's stupid.
I'm afraid they're gonna be silently judging me,
and then write down a strategy
for how you would handle each one of those things.
So for example, if somebody disagrees with your idea,
say, they say, you speak up, and you say,
"I think we should do this, I think this is a good idea."
And somebody says, "Yeah, not so much, I don't like that."
Then be prepared with how you would handle it, right.
And so I would recommend being open and just saying,
"Oh, interesting, why don't you think so,
what are your thoughts?"
Right, with just a genuine curiosity
to get to where they're at and what they're thinking, right,
and so maybe you can come to a collaboration.
And I ask, I like to ask, "What are your concerns?
"What do you think?"
Right, and when you are really open and curious,
there's really no danger,
because you can't be hurt by anything that they say
unless you take it really personally, right.
So if somebody tells me that my idea's bad,
I don't take it personally anymore.
I used to, but I don't now.
Now I'm like, okay,
I wonder why they don't think it's a good idea.
I wonder what they think and why,
and then we can get into a really productive discussion.
This is how healthy work environments work, right.
We wanna hear all the ideas,
and then we wanna put them out there,
and then we wanna use the best one, right,
or we wanna come to an agreement
and use the best one, right.
So sometimes we have to hear a whole bunch of ideas,
and then just apply one of them, right,
and then the decision maker would do that.
But I think it's very important
for you to have your idea heard, at least,
because if you don't, you'll never know,
and you bypass all these opportunities
to have your idea heard, right,
or at least to get feedback on your idea, right.
Because even if you put your idea out there,
and they decide not to go with it,
you get feedback on why not, right.
So then the next time,
your brain can formulate a better idea, right,
and that's your learning and that's your growth.
And also the courage
that it takes to put your idea out there in the first place
is gonna be more difficult in the beginning,
but once you do it more and more,
it's going to become easier and easier, trust me.
And if you decide not to take it personally
from the very beginning,
there's really nothing to lose, right,
'cause it's an idea, it's not you.
So you are not your idea, you are separate from your idea.
You can have an idea, and they can say,
"We don't like that idea."
They're not saying we don't like you.
They're just saying we don't like your idea.
It has nothing to do with you.
So when you can remove that personal aspect of it,
then you can just see it very neutrally
and get curious and be like,
"Oh, why don't you think that'll work?
"What are your concerns?
"What's your idea, right."
And then you can take that information
and formulate better ideas in the future.
So I hope that helps,
and I really encourage you to speak up,
especially if you wanna move forward in your career,
get promoted, make more money.
Leaders need to have ideas.
Leaders need to take risks.
Leaders need to have courage,
and all of those things start small.
So yes it's a step to speak up,
but it's definitely worth it.
And if you want to be progressing,
if you want to constantly be progressing in your career,
you will need to start taking those steps
and understand that the worst that can happen is a feeling.
So the worst that can happen is,
you can feel a bit embarrassed
because they didn't like your idea.
You can feel a little bit uncomfortable for speaking.
The feeling that you feel won't kill you.
You will not die from the feeling, right.
All you can do now is get the feedback from what you did.
So maybe if you spoke up, I did this a bunch,
I spoke up, nobody even heard me,
nobody even said anything it wasn't acknowledged.
So then I was like okay,
I'm gonna say it a bit differently.
First, I would say it over and over,
and then if people weren't listening, I'd be like,
okay, I need to say it a little bit differently.
But I didn't get shut down
and say, okay, they don't like me.
They're not listening to me.
They're ignoring me.
I just said I need to try this a different way,
so I implemented different strategies
to have my ideas heard,
and then I started to see what people responded to best.
The key here is never take it personally.
You are not your idea, right,
just like you are not your thoughts.
You're the thinker of what you think, right,
and you get to choose, you get to choose your ideas.
And so when you remove that personal aspect,
it becomes a lot easier to just say,
"This is what I think right now.
"This is what I think we should do.
"What do you guys think?"
And it becomes a lot lighter, right.
And I've had that happen several times to me
where I say something, and they say,
"Yeah, we don't wanna do that.
"We don't want this to happen."
And I would be like, "Oh, I never thought of that."
Okay, and then I'll think on it for a bit,
and then maybe I'll come back again with a counter,
or, you know, but I'm not gonna take it personally.
And that's, I think, what's led to my main success.
And even in interviews, I would say things like,
"Yeah, so if you give me feedback on something,
"if I do something, and you don't think that,
"you don't like it, I'm not gonna take it personally.
"I'm just gonna wonder,
"I'm just going to ask you why."
And I think that that was a very, very strong asset,
because when you can just work with people
and remove the drama,
it makes it so much easier to move forward and get results.
So, that's what I have for you, my friends.
Thank you so much for watching,
and I hope this has inspired you to speak up in meetings
and speak up in interviews
and not be afraid to trust yourself
and really share your ideas.
If you wanna take this further,
this is exactly what I help people with,
and it's gonna be monumental
in changing your career trajectory
and the amount of money that you're gonna make,
if you are willing to voice your ideas.
And if you're at the point
where you don't think you have any good ideas yet,
that's where I shine with helping you.
Because I bring out your good ideas,
I show you your own genius,
and I get you to express those ideas
in a way that creates value, whether you know it or not yet.
So, if you wanna work with me, you can click below,
get started with my free training,
Get a Better Job in 30 days,
or you can check out my podcast.
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I will see you next week for another video.
Cool, bye.
(light jazz music)