should you give your child an allowance for doing chores or just to learn about money or should you
give them an allowance at all and what does this have to do with self-esteem and gratitude
we're going to talk about all that coming right up
hi i'm holly mclean the mommy answer lady i'm a certified parent educator
mom of nine and author of the book an online course how to train your child to behave i
provide step-by-step instructional videos to help you be the most effective parent you can be
and i have a new series parenting news and the culture war so i hope that you
will subscribe and hit those notifications so what's the purpose of allowance some
say that it is to teach child how to spend money teaching your child how to spend money is a
good idea but the problem is just giving them allowance doesn't teach them the two parts of
money management that they need to know one is how to earn it and the other is how to spend it
and spending is part of also savings because when you're saving you're saving for something
that you're going to spend it on whether it be emergencies or other larger purchases if you
just give a child an allowance without them doing anything to earn it then they haven't learned both
aspects of money management then also when they earn the money they need to understand what the
value is of the labor that they give to earn it so for instance when you give them some kind of money
for something they have done it needs to relate to the amount of labor it took for them to do
the reason is because if you say go collect the laundry and i'll give you ten dollars
that doesn't explain to them and have them have a concept and understanding of the cost of labor and
how much they should earn for their labor because that's excessive they aren't going to be able to
take five minutes and earn 10 bucks most of the time right that's not going to be reality for
them so whenever they're earning money the money that they earn needs to relate to the amount of
labor that they give so they can learn what earning money really is like next you don't
want to give them money for something that is to their own benefit they can't go out in the world
and earn money for doing something for themselves they earn money by doing something for others
so if they are for instance taking care of the house doing chores around the house or whatever
that's to their benefit because they live there and so they shouldn't be entitled to get paid
to take care of the place where they live that's just part of life and they need to learn that and
not feel entitled to get paid for that so i don't believe in giving money for chores
around the house that they normally should be doing i also want to suggest that when you're
having them do the chores that you call them family contributions i heard this one time
and i did put it in my book and also on my online course that to call it a contribution makes a
child feel good that they are contributing to the household and to others so i just want to mention
that's a good thing to do so when a child earns money they can learn how much that money means
by the labor they give and then how much it costs to buy something they start to get an
understanding of all of those things if they earn money for what is it reasonable to earn it for
and the amount of money that they're given for their labor is reasonable
giving an allowance just because they exist is kind of teaching them an entitlement they believe
because they exist they should be given money and that's not a good lesson if they're given money
for their family contributions or chores around the house then they also feel like they're
entitled to maid service if they decide not to do that like okay i don't want to earn the money
today so i'm not going to do my part of the family contribution so they're kind of feeling very
entitled at that point that's why i don't believe in just giving allowance so let's look at the five
things we need to instill in children about money number one explain that money is earned by working
if you teach your child that by working they earn the money then they're gonna understand what the
value of that money is number two do not give money for doing expected contributions like i said
don't get the money for things they're expected to do anyway and that benefit their own life
when they do earn money it should be because they are contributing something outside of
themselves number three find extra jobs they can do to earn money not related to their
regular responsibilities so for instance with my family my children have their own family
contributions or chores that they do around the house but then there's some extra things
that they do for instance they have a cat one of them has cat now and so they might feed their cat
but the dog is really my dog so i've allowed them to have the opportunity to get up early and take
the dog outside and feed the dog too when they're feeding the cat and then they can earn a dollar
for that now that isn't a lot of money but that's not a lot of labor right another thing they can do
is they can collect my laundry they don't get a dollar for collecting their own laundry because
that's to their own benefit but if they choose to collect my laundry and take it all downstairs
then they can earn a dollar for their own labor for taking care of mine so you can find other
things that work with your family what kinds of things around the house might be something that
you would do and that benefits you but that they could do for you and earn money number four teach
about spend save and give when your children get money make sure they understand they don't want
to spend it all right away it's good to save some money maybe there's a particular thing that they
want to purchase that has a bit of a bigger price tag they're going to need to save their money in
order to buy that also we want to teach them to be giving in our family for instance we taught
them to give 10 of their income to the church 10 at least give save for a larger purchase
and then they have some to spend on something that they want right away number five encourage
volunteerism even though you want them to find opportunities to earn money you also want them
to feel a sense of giving just to give that they don't need to be paid for everything for instance
we have an elderly neighbor who would have a very difficult time shoveling snow on her walk
so it would be something that my children would do was go over and shovel her
walkway they were trying to help her other times they'll go over and volunteer for other things
it's good to encourage them to be volunteers that they don't have to earn money for everything all
of these things build self-esteem a child is going to feel better about themselves
when they know how to earn money and when they buy that thing that they earn the money for they feel
better about themselves allowance doesn't do that it doesn't build up their self-esteem for them
just to be given money but it does if they have to earn it then it also teaches gratefulness because
they have an idea of what it takes to earn money so then they recognize hey daddy or mommy or both
they work and that brings that money in and then that money is spent for me and they start to have
a sense of the world and how money works and they begin to be grateful for the things that
they have so before we go i just wanted to remind you i do have a new series called
parenting news and the culture war i hope you will tune in to that it's also available on
podcast so you can just listen to it or you can watch it on youtube or rumble
i hope you'll take a look at that and also don't forget my book how to train your child to behave
that is available on amazon and also available in the links below also don't forget to subscribe
and hit that notifications bell parents you can do this we'll see you next time