- I think it goes without saying that this
could get a little awkward.
(upbeat music)
what's up socials?
Welcome back to Amy TV, I made a video
not too long ago, probably a couple of years now
called How to be a Successful Introvert
and a lot of questions spawned from that,
as well as people are asking me constantly
about overcoming shyness
and being able to combat those inner feelings
that are keeping us from being at our best.
One particular thing that I had to overcome
as an introvert who decided to go
and work on her own and very much be in the driver's seat
of everything that was happening in her life.
(sighing)
so much work.
Was figuring out how to network, meet new people
and continue to succeed, because apparently
you do need to know people in order to succeed.
There's not an app for that.
So I thought this might be useful to you
if you're an introvert or if your know an introvert
or you're like what is going on,
I have to talk to people?
Yeah, let's just dig in here.
Just a quick reminder to please subscribe
to this introvert's YouTube channel,
I make new videos every Sunday and Wednesday
because I get to be in a room alone and
talk to myself and it's working out for everyone.
(laughing)
Okay let's start with this,
the word networking kinda sucks,
like I had to put it in the title
so you would know what this video was about
but don't think about this so much as the word
networking because I feel like it's been
given a super bad rep.
Everyone's envisioning like the bad guy
that comes to the networking event
will all of his business cards.
I don't know what I put business cards
and networking event in quotations,
but that's a thing I do apparently.
(laughing)
and that guy is just like spewing these business cards
all over tables and just can't shake your hand fast enough
in order to introduce himself and I don't know
why it has to be a guy, girls do that too.
But that's what we feel the word networking is
and that's not really what it means,
it's not really what it's trying to accomplish.
If we're talking about what it really means to network
it's to simply become more connected
so that you can increase that luck that happens
to a lot of people that's actually very much hard work
and getting to know others and not trying to pitch
themselves first.
Being a valuable individual that is able
to let people know when they're doing cool stuff.
So stay away from the word networking
in your mind anyway in terms of talking yourself
into doing it more because as an introvert
its probably gonna feel sticky and ucky and gross
and that's already not getting us very far as introverts
so don't use terms like that that are making you feel
uncomfortable simply understanding that you are connecting
with people, you're getting to know people and if
people is a weird word to you too, I understand that.
But realizing that that chemistry
and that influence and those conversations
and the relationships that happen,
everything people to people is going to help
you succeed in the long run, that's how you're gonna
need to frame this in your mind.
Trust me, that was very hard for me to take on
because I just have had the hardest time
talking to people and feeling natural for most of my life.
Once you know how to talk to a camera that doesn't talk
back, apparently you can figure out how to talk to people.
One really big tip that is gonna make this easy
on you is to do cool stuff
because you won't have to start conversations,
people will want to start them with you.
No matter if it's an email conversation
or an in-person conversation, somebody is going
to want to learn more about you once they are
hearing or seeing what you're all about and how
you're leaving an impact on the world.
So even if that's something so small
as what you do for your boss at work,
somehow you're changing their lives for the better,
I would like to hope that they are giving
your recognition for such,
I know that's a very big thing to say
but you are doing something that is helping someone
and the more value you create, the more likely someone's
gonna wanna talk about you, want to suggest you,
want to promote you, want to hire you.
For me I just simply decided I wanted to help
people and I started creating video in order to do that
and so becoming an introvert that was constantly
having conversations with people came from the fact
that apparently that content was resonating
at a very high level.
That's very exciting because it's easier
for me as an introvert to be brought into a
conversation that someone wanted me to join.
(laughing)
it doesn't necessarily mean I am enjoying it
I mean like I do now, I'm grown up
I'm sort of like a little bit more,
I am a lot more extroverted now
but it is a lot harder for me to start a conversation
and so when you do cool things and people see that
and they respect that, I already feel
like I've presented value so it's very,
it just feels like a more fitting invitation
to become a part of a network or become a part
of a conversation, become part of a relationship.
I think that sort of like some inner issue
with needing to be valuable in order to feel
like I'm okay with getting any recognition
or attention but you know we can't win all the battles
so just being self aware is great.
Okay but let's say you're just a regular old introvert
at a regular old networking event
and you're trying to figure out what to do with your life.
You could A, run for the door
and not talk to anyone and that will
work out for the rest of the night,
you will very much enjoy yourself in the short term.
Or you could B,
decide to be in this bubble
that is not your comfort zone for a short period of time
and make the most of it and turn on.
And I think that's what I've basically figured out,
people think I'm an extrovert constantly,
like you're gonna leave a comment on this video
guaranteed, if you have not been here for a while
and you're gonna say, Amy oh my god what?
I thought you were an extrovert,
I feel like I've been swindled.
I am just very good at turning it on.
I recognize this about myself,
I sort of have a zone when I'm around a big
group of people or a lot of people
or a few people, actually a few people
can be really tough too
or let's say I'm making these videos,
there's different environments where I need
to be on and I simply have a zone that I go into
for that thing.
I know my limits, I know that I'm gonna need
to stop at some point.
I'm gonna need to be alone at some point,
I'm gonna need to not speak to anybody at some point
but at this time, it is not that point.
Knowing that that will happen and knowing
that I can get to that is great,
that's like my goal, that's like my reward
for being an extrovert for a short period of time.
Trying to wrap your mind around maybe you
need a zone, like that or just like a focus,
something that keeps you sort of a more friendlier,
more inviting introvert than the one that hugs the wall
and doesn't necessarily want to talk,
that's a really really great idea and it's helped
me a ton and it's made me trick the whole world
into thinking I was an extrovert
so sorry about that.
And here's a tip from there, it is very easy
to start a conversation when you are not
talking about yourself.
Instead of thinking that you have to be like
that guy that has all the cards and he's cramming
them down people's throats,
the best thing you can do is not talk
about yourself but start a conversation
on anything, anything to do with that person.
I love your shoes, that one works for me every time
'cause first of all it's usually very genuine
I don't say that about shoes I don't like
and two, it's just an easy way to start a conversation,
now we can level up about the design
or the color or the height or whatever
and we can work our way up
okay now we're here, now we're at the heart,
what do you love to do?
What do you do for a living?
What do you enjoy?
And now we can have a natural conversation.
Praising someone, saying something nice
to someone, pointing out something about someone else
as an introvert I feel like it's very very important
because it's so much harder
to walk up to someone with the plan
to somehow unveil what you're all about.
Like that's what's breaking you down,
that's what's making you not want to do anything.
My next piece of advice is that if you actually
want to be somewhat successful in the area
of networking, it simply means being connected
to people so a lot of the time when
I am quote unquote networking,
I'm simply introducing people to each other
and what that does is when I connect the dots
on person A and person B and what they have in common
whether it's work or personal
or anything else, and I say by the way do you
guys know each other and they get to know each other
and I knew about their commonalities
so they talk about that commonality
and a relationship buds from there,
that's good for me because I don't need
to be a part of that, they can go do that thing
on their own and now they're gonna go and tell
everyone they're like oh yeah we met through Amy,
like Amy ends up being at the epicenter
of all these different people and so and so
hired somebody because of Amy and so and so
became best friends because of Amy
and so and so got married 'cause of Amy,
still working on that one, I'm not a great cupid.
But that's really really a key thing people forget,
instead of holding your network close to the vest,
connect everyone together,
become in the middle of this very small world.
Everyone's gonna remember you constantly.
We all wanna do the most minimal amount of work
to get the most results, right?
And if that's the case, make it really easy on yourself
and let everyone come to that conclusion
by showing them how much value you can present to them
in a short period of time.
That's literally something you could do right now,
you could network, you could be more connected
right now by simply thinking of two people
who should know each other and making an email introduction.
Pro tip, you should probably ask the people
if they wanna know each other first, separately
and then bring them together 'cause that makes
that introduction email a lot less awkward,
but anyway, I digress.
I think the biggest thing here is there's a million
different hacks, there's a lot of practice
that goes into it, there's simply knowing you know
what you're talking about and just being confident
in that and we've talked about confidence here
but most importantly, you just have to get
out of your head that you're not good at networking
because when you just tell yourself those things,
you think it's like oh I'm just self aware
of a skillset I don't have.
No that's not actually true,
you are negatively self talking by saying
I'm not good at this, or I'm not good at talking
to people or I'm not good at networking
because it's your excuse to not actually try
and like I said, unfortunately we need to know people
in order to succeed in life so stop with that
argument because it's not gonna work out.
Spoiler alert.
Alright its your turn
are you an introvert?
Do you know an introvert?
Do you know someone that's struggling with this?
Maybe you should share this video with them.
If you have had experience with this,
how do you deal with it?
What do you do to kinda like reset?
I feel like that's the biggest tip
that people can share with each other
and I want us to share that in the comments.
How do you reset so that you can
(clicking fingers)
go into that zone and be a really
outstanding introvert in public or in these situations?
Just recognizing that you need that time is huge
so share your advice on that in the comments below
so we can help each other.
If you enjoyed this talk, I am an introvert
that makes videos all the time
so make sure you hit that thumbs up so that you'll
come back next time, especially if you're subscribed.
I do a lot of content like this
posting every Sundays and Wednesdays.
And that is all for today socials,
thank you so much for tuning in,
I appreciate it as always.
Make sure you subscribe for good vibes
and remember to continue to go after the life
that you want, cheers.
(upbeat music)