hello and welcome to movies on that show where we talk about movies in a quick
way so you can get out there day I'm your amazing spectacular host detective
Artemus and before we go on you hit that thumbs up button because I know it you
know it Puss in Boots knows hey what the fuck that's right bitches I'm back
based off the 1981 stage musical of the same name by Andrew Lloyd Webber which
in turn was based off the 1939 poetry collection old possum's book of
practical cats by TS Eliot comes a story of placement Redemption and rebel Wilson
oh god make it stop there was also a 1998 live-action cats
movie but it was basically just a Broadway show which some cameras this
one though was the first big-budget movie and coming off the award-winning
snoozefest lame is Tom Hooper was said to direct so fans the musical were
getting excited until the trailer dropped and the movie was basically dead
on arrival and everyone hated it was it really that
bad cats is about a cat named Victoria who gets dumped in the streets of London
by her old owners oh my god look at these things ah I mean they look
terrifying and funny all at once she didn't gets welcomed by a group of Tom
cats who are part of a tribe called the Jellico's take a drink every time they
say that word hey you're drugged now me
they show her around and talk about their Jellicle ball what the cat's
compete for the chance to go to the Heaviside lair to be granted a new life
watching this is like getting kicked in the Jellico's throughout the movie we
are introduced to other cat competitors who explain their contributions to the
community what were they exactly I don't know
the roach people were way too distracting for me to pay attention to
maybe they can have their own spin-off what the Ian McKellen are you doing here
during these introductions we meet the villain Macavity played by the awesome
II drew Silva who after the movie probably fired his agent Macavity can
also operate and two separate I like him he also kidnaps key as a competitor so
he could be chosen for the new life by default I like him
Victoria then meets a pair of twin cats named I don't fuck your member something
stupid I imagine Victoria gets trapped but then the awesome magician cat from
earlier mr. Mistoffelees saves her I like him we didn't meet the matriarch of
the tribe all due to nom du tur doodoo head whatever it's goddamn Judi Dench
from James Bond they go inside and we get an overly long ballet number
Victoria sees Grizabella played by Jennifer Hudson who we learned that she
was banished from the tribe because of her affiliations with Macavity here we
see Victoria empathize of Grizabella as they both share feelings of abandonment
we finally get to the ball and after some more creepy dancing it gets
interrupted by Taylor Swift as she's distracting him with her song she uses
catnip to capacitate them You cheeky kitty then
macavity shows up and demands to be chosen but Judi Dench is all like nah
fam you're not worthy so he kidnaps her too when the others come to old monoface
Victoria tells mr. Mistoffelees to use his magic to bring her back then
Victoria tells him that if he does it she'll let him smash I mean I'm assuming
of course but it works and the cat's rejoice back to the other kidnap cats
who everyone seem to forget about rebel Wilson escapes by unzipping her costume
why didn't she just do that in the first place well they are free and Macavity
bails on his Lackey who walks the plank to shark-infested waters I'm assuming of
course Grizabella shows up to the Egyptian Theatre in Victoria pouches for
her to be the chosen one she sings a pretty decent song and Judi Dench agrees
with Victoria Michelle mr. Mistoffelees uses his magic and makes a
hot-air-balloon thing for Isabella Macavity makes one last attempt but
fails and falls to his death just kidding but imagine full Judi Dench
welcomes Victoria to the tribe and Grizabella fucks off somewhere in the
clouds where I assume it gets shot down and she plummets to her death and that's
cats this movie was hard to sit through mainly because the visuals were just too
weird and awkward you can't look at them without wanting to laugh I mean then
they learned that from the last live-action cat person they did two days
before this movie premiered in theaters Universal announced we're going to fix
the CGI to make it look better two days before the movie premiered maybe it was
diversion with your cat buttholes visible look it up forget the Snyder cut
released a butthole cut needless to say this movie tanked hard with the new CGI
fixes it tanked even harder costs in the studio over 110 million dollars maybe
this idea should have been euthanized there weren't any real characters to
root for except Grizabella who barely had any screen time the songs were
overly long and made the movie dragged for an eternity from a technical
standpoint I appreciate all the work done from makeup and the dance numbers
because I'm sure that took weeks of rehearsal how even the animators worked
grueling hours to make the deadline I feel bad for them but unfortunately a
bad movie is still a bad movie and it wasn't their fault it is possible to
make a decent movie adapter from a musical I mean look at a grease or limb
is originally in the 90s this movie was going to be animated but scrapped when
ambulation got shut down that would have been the best way for this material to
be approached for a general audience and it would have been a lot easier to sit
through instead we got a furry fantasy wet dream so as
always I'll be back soon with another movie or if you have any suggestions
please leave them in the comments below and don't forget to leave a like and
subscribe to this wonderful Channel I am the gentleman I observe the world so we
can all laugh at it bye bye