>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?
>> SO NICE.
>> Jimmy: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> I'M GOOD.
>> Jimmy: HOW HAS YOUR SUMMER
GONE SO FAR?
>> IT WAS TOO MUCH TIME WITH MY
FAMILY.
WAY TOO MUCH TIME.
I TOOK MY KIDS TO EUROPE.
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH.
NICE.
>> AND I TRIED TO GET RID OF
THEM.
I TOOK MY KIDS TO EUROPE, WHICH
IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST
EXPENSIVE THING YOU COULD DO IN
THE WORLD.
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF KIDS, RIGHT?
>> I'VE GOT A LOT OF KIDS.
FIVE.
>> Jimmy: FIVE KIDS.
>> MOST PEOPLE ARE LIKE WHY?
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY ROOMS DO YOU
HAVE TO GET WITH FIVE KIDS?
>> WE HAVE TO GET A COUPLE
ROOMS, AND THEN WE HAVE TO GET A
ROOM JUST FOR THE iPADS.
WHERE IS GOING TO BE THE
CHARGING STATION?
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, AND THEN GOING
TO EUROPE, YOU'VE GOT TO
CONVERT.
>> THERE'S GOT TO BE THE
CONVERTER.
IT'S VERY DRAMATIC.
BUT IT'S EXCITING.
>> Jimmy: WERE YOU WORKING, WERE
YOU ON A COMEDY TOUR.
WHERE DID YOU GO?
WHAT COUNTRIES?
>> I DID TWO SHOWS IN IRELAND.
AND TWO IN SPAIN.
AND PRAGUE AND BUDAPEST.
AND IT WAS, IT WAS AMAZING,
CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST A
DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE.
IN IRELAND, I LOVE IRELAND, BUT
IT WAS LIKE 68 DEGREES, AND THEY
WERE COMPLAINING WITH THE HEAT.
>> Jimmy: OH, REALLY?
>> OH, IT'S SO HOT.
SO HOT.
DO YOU WANT A FAN FOR YOUR ROOM?
AND I'M LIKE, I'M WEARING A
SWEATER.
I THINK I'M OKAY.
BUT I LOVED IT, AND, YOU KNOW,
SPAIN, WHICH WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM,
ORIGINALLY.
AND, NO, SPAIN, WHICH OF COURSE
IS, YOU KNOW, THEY CALL
IT ESPANIA.
I
IT'S WEIRD WE CALL SOMEBODY
ELSE'S COUNTRY A DIFFERENT NAME.
I'M FROM ESPANIA, SPAIN, HUH?
IT'S CALLED ESPANIA.
I LIKE SPAIN BETTER.
HI, MY NAME IS BOB.
I THINK YOU'RE MORE OF A SAM.
>> Jimmy: IN AMERICA, DO YOU
FIND THAT YOU'RE BEING GREETED
WARMLY BY PEOPLE IN OTHER
COUNTRIES?
>> I LOVE TRAVELING EDG
INTERNATIONALLY.
AND IT'S DIFFERENT WITH TRUMP AS
PRESIDENT.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE HAVING A
PARENT WHO'S AN ALCOHOLIC.
YOU SHOW UP IN A COUNTRY, AND
YOU'RE LIKE, SORRY ABOUT MY DAD.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO DO ABOUT IT, BUT TRYING TO
GET THE PHONE FROM HIM, BUT, WE
DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS, THESE ARE
SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF --
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: TELL US WHAT'S
HAPPENING.
>> THIS IS THE VERY FIRST TRIP I
WENT ON, AND THIS IS ME.
THAT'S NOT ME.
THAT'S MY DAD.
THIS IS ME AT IN FIVE YEARS.
I LOOK AT PICTURES OF ME AS A
CHILD, AND I MIGHT AS WELL BE
LOOKING AT A STRANGER.
I HAVE NO MEMORY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON,
I WAS OBVIOUSLY, THEY COULDN'T
AFFORD SUNGLASSES FOR ME.
>> Jimmy: SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
THIS IS A GOOD ONE, TOO.
>> THIS IS ME AND MY BROTHER
JOE.
AGAIN, I'M IN A HAT.
IT'S ALMOST AS IF I WAS TRYING
TO DRESS DORKILY.
DO I HAVE SUSPENDERS ON?
>> Jimmy: IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT A
PICTURE OF A STRANGER AND YET
YOU LOOK EXACTLY AS YOU DID.
OTHER THAN THE GLASSES, YOU ARE
YOUR OWN LITTLE TWIN.
>> I'M BEAUTIFUL.
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IN A WAY,
I'M BEAUTIFUL.
>> Jimmy: AND WHAT'S THIS ARROW
HERE BY YOUR BROTHER'S FACE?
>> THAT IS A SCREEN GRAB I
SUPPOSE.
>> Jimmy: OH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVERYTHING TOP-NOTCH HERE.
>> WHAT IS THIS THING.
THAT'S A SCREEN GRAB.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO
YOU HAVE?
>> I HAVE THREE BROTHERS AND TWO
SISTERS.
SO I'M FROM A BIG FAMILY.
YOU'RE FROM A BIG FAMILY, RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: NOT THAT BIG, MY
BROTHER AND SISTER.
>> MY WIFE'S ONE OF NINE KIDS,
AND I LOVE MY IN-LAWS.
DOES THAT SOUND UNBELIEVABLE?
I DO LOVE THEM, IT'S JUST
THERE'S SO MANY OF THEM.
AND SO EVERY HOLIDAY, THERE'S
NINE.
SO EVERY HOLIDAY OR GET
TOGETHER, ALL EIGHT OF THE
SIBLINGS, INCLUDING MY WIFE AND
THEIR FAMILY, GET TOGETHER AND
SPEND EVERY MOMENT TOGETHER OVER
CHRISTMAS.
I WENT TO A MOVIE WITH 30
PEOPLE.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS
LEGAL.
WE'RE WALKING AROUND, PEOPLE
THOUGHT WE WERE FROM A CHURCH.
I MEAN, TO PUT IT IN
PERSPECTIVE, JESUS ONLY WALKED
AROUND WITH 12.
I LEARNED VERY QUICKLY, I DON'T
WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH 30
PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, LIKE EVEN IF I
WAS ON THE TITANIC AND THE LAST
RESCUE BOAT WAS FILLED WITH 30
PEOPLE, I'D BE LIKE, YOU GUYS GO
AHEAD.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN
YOU ARE TRYING TO DECIDE WHERE
TO EAT LUNCH.
AND OFTEN THERE IS MORE THAN 30
PEOPLE.
BECAUSE SOMETIMES THOSE 30
PEOPLE INVITE OTHER PEOPLE AND
I'LL HAVE CONVERSATIONS LIKE I'M
YOUR WIFE'S UNCLE'S BEST FRIEND.
OH, THERE'S A TERM FOR THAT.
STRANGER.
YOU'RE A TOTAL STRANGER.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU GET ANYTIME FOR
YOURSELF WITH THE KIDS AND THE
IN-LAWS AND ALL THIS STUFF?
>> I TRAVEL, I TRY TO TRAVEL AS
MUCH WITH MY KIDS AS I CAN,
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE A
LIVE ACTION VERSION OF "THE
CAT'S IN THE CRADLE" SONG.
AND THERE'S PLENTY OF TIMES, I'M
NOT TRAVELING WITH MY KIDS NOW.
WHEN I TRAVEL WITHOUT MY
CHILDREN, IN BETWEEN THOSE
MOMENTS OF GUILT ARE JUST HOURS
OF HAPPINESS.
>> Jimmy: OH, YEAH.
>> AND NAPS AND DOING NOTHING.
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
AND THEN I CALL HOME AND JUST
HEAR THE CHAOS ON THE OTHER END.
AND I HAVE TO LIE TO MY WIFE
ABOUT WHAT I DID.
SHE'S LIKE WHAT DID YOU DO
TODAY?
I GOT UP.
DID THAT, ENOUGH ABOUT ME, WHAT
ABOUT YOU?
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
TAKE A LITTLE NAP DURING THE
COMMERCIAL BREAK HERE.
>> I'M GOING TO DO IT.
>> Jimmy: JIM GAFFIGAN'S WITH
US.
>> Jimmy: HI, WE'RE BACK WITH
JIM GAFFIGAN.
JIM IS THE AUTHOR AND PERFORMER
ON THE FIRST, IS IT AMAZON'S
FIRST COMEDY SPECIAL.
>> THIS IS THE PEOPLE THAT,
WHERE YOU BUY YOUR PAPER TOWELS
ARE NOW PRODUCING COMEDY
SPECIALS.
SO I MEAN WE ALL, SOMEONE TOLD
ME THAT, THEY ASKED ME, BUT WHAT
IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN AMAZON
PRIME ACCOUNT?
AND I WAS LIKE, WELL, YOU
PROBABLY AREN'T ON THE INTERNET,
THEN.
>> Jimmy: GET ONE IS THE ANSWER.
>> MOSTLY, EVERYONE BUYS SOCKS
AND, YOU KNOW, SOAP FROM AMAZON,
SO I'M JUST HOPING THAT PEOPLE
WILL SEARCH UP QUALITY TIME AND
WATCH IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WHY WOULDN'T
THEY WATCH IT.
CERTAINLY, I MEAN IT'S YOU, AND
YOU'RE SELLING IT ON A, NOW DID
YOU MAKE A LOT OF THESE?
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE NOT THAT
MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BUY
THIS.
>> INTERESTINGLY, THAT'S A GOOD
POINT.
BUT INTERESTINGLY, LPs ARE
GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER.
>> Jimmy: IT SEEMS THE SAME SIZE
TO ME.
>> YEAH, BUT IT IS.
>> Jimmy: IT'S GONE FROM LIKE
1200 WEIRDOS WHO HAVE RECORD
PLAYERS IN THEIR HOMES TO 1400.
>> NOW, I THINK THEY'RE
COMPETING WITH CDs AND EIGHT
TRACK.
THEY'RE COMPETING WITH EIGHT
TRACK.
>> Jimmy: WE'VE GOT SOME ANIMALS
COMING OUT IN A MOMENT.
>> I KNOW, I'M EXCITED.
>> Jimmy: WHERE WERE YOU HERE?
>> THIS IS IN KYOTO.
>> Jimmy: IS ALL OF THESE YOUR
KIDS OR IS THAT A MONKEY.
>> THAT'S A MONKEY.
SO IN KYOTO, ON A MOUNTAIN, THEY
HAVE LIKE MONKEYS THAT YOU WALK
UP.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THERE
WERE MONKEYS IN KYOTO, SO YOU
WALK UP THIS MOUNTAIN, AND
THERE'S ALL THESE PRECAUTIONARY
SIGNS, LIKE DON'T FEED THE
MONKEYS.
DON'T LOOK AT THE MONDAY KEY.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE ONE OF THOSE
SIGNS RIGHT HERE.
>> AND THEN YOU GET UP THERE,
AND THE MONKEYS ARE EVERYWHERE.
SO THEN THEY'RE STANDING NEXT TO
YOU, BUT YOU'VE BEEN TERRIFIED
THAT THEY'RE GOING TO ATTACK YOU
AND TEAR YOUR EYES OUT.
AND THEN THEY HAVE THESE
DIFFERENT ONES, THIS IS WHAT A
MONKEY LOOKS LIKE WHEN IT'S
ANGRY, AND THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS
LIKE WHEN IT'S HAPPY, WHICH IS
THE EXACT SAME APPEARANCE.
>> Jimmy: LOOK, SAYS SCARY, AND
SOMEBODY'S FIRING THESE ARROWS
AT YOU AGAIN IN THE PICTURE.
>> THAT'S A SCREEN GRAB, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, I DIDN'T GET
THAT RIGHT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOR THE
ANIMALS?
>> HEY, I'M HUNGRY.
>> Jimmy: JIM GAFFIGAN!
"JIM GAFFIGAN: QUALITY TIME" IS
AVAILABLE FRIDAY ON AMAZON PRIME
VIDEO. WE'LL BE BACK WITH
DAVE SALMONI AND WILD ANIMALS.