(music)
Good morning
Morning.
I had a dream that you and I were both deer.
we were so sexy.
Speakin' of sexy, how do I look doing yoga?
Well, um this is your first time, right?
Thanks to my hot flashes all yoga's hot yoga to me!
That's what they said on the funnies, today
That Kathy! She's a pip I'll tell ya somethin'.
Holy, sweet Jesus!
Look, little one gave us an invitation
Oh, it looks like the feminists are doing a powwow at the barn today, James
Is that like a cat breastfeeding circle?
No, James.
You know what, I think I'll tell my cousin Felize to go
she's looking to meet new friends.
She just moved here twelve years ago.
Oh, Blake's hosting it. Oh my gosh.
I lived with her once.
We shared expenses for three years
Um, I wanted to welcome you to the Optumnal Vagumnal
of the Womaughn's Femposium of the Her-dson Valley.
I probably should have called it:
"Vag-lley" looking at it in hindsight
but...we got a lot on the dick-list docket, today
so I just wanna make sure I cover all this.
I wanna thank you first on a personal level
For all the compliments on my new 'do
I grew it out because I wanted to
No because I should have.
I have a new album coming out here
ah, it's just called, "Blake To What End."
No last name, just Blake.
It's really hard to spell my last name so we went ahead with
-Blake! Can we just do this thing?
Would you get off my balls?
One thing I did want to talk about is strip clubs.
Strip clubs are like the seasons:
they're gonna happen.
I think that we should try to
rally around these strip clubs
and at least create a safe room for the strippers
You know what the safe room in the strip club should be?
The strip club.
Don't let men in there, just let women in there.
Yes!
Hey, girls!
Sorry I'm late.
My husband wanted me to iron his shirt
so you know how that goes.
I'll just put my bottom right here.
You know, men really love my bottom.
I'm like, what's wrong with the front?
And you are?
Felize.
Felize. That's very nice. Welcome.
Hey it's OK if my purse is here, right?
It's perfectly fine.
OK. I'm gonna bring up some more topics, here.
One is breastfeeding in public, guys.
You know, it's like we're feeding a life, here.
These are not for your erections.
My husband loves my boobs.
He calls them his antidepressants.
That's terrific
That's good to know.
What do you think?
What am I looking at?
This...This...and
This
You know, the most important thing
is that we feel powerful as women
in our relationships whether we're
with a man or a woman.
You know when I feel the most powerful?
When my legs are even-tan.
(Bickering)
What's inside? What's inside your legs?
Well that's...
let me tell you somethin'
if you wanna have a credit card in your purse
and you wanna go shoppin' at the mall
then you are gonna make your husband happy.
You hear me?
What makes me happy is being a woman.
A woman with these and these that I bought for me.
My hay-hay all of that, you know
what-what that makes me happy.
Don't get upset or anything.
We're not judging you, here.
You know what, maybe you girls should try
smiling a little more.
Maybe you should try wearing some pantyhose, I don't know
That's offensive.
Well guess what, guess what, guess what girls
none of you are getting the rose!
Not you, not you, none of you!
C'mon, guys. We gotta embrace everybody, here.
I'm sorry it got rough in there.
Those women, they talk and they talk and they talk.
And they don't take shit
They wear comfortable bras
Make a little bit of sense.
I think I wanna go back in there.
M'lady.
That's a cute belt.
Were you a championship wrestler?
Just an old lesbo with a bum back.
C'mon.