Welcome to Psychology Refresh!
Today, we're going to go over the 8 Rules On How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say
Make sure to watch each one of them, so will never get stuck in awkward silence!
This may be the holy grail of communication skills. You might know this feeling if your
mind goes blank in the middle of a conversation. Then you find yourself searching your mind for
something...anything to say. Regardless, the more you try to come up with something to say,
the less they can. Then the awkward silence settles in and you might wonder: "Why does my head
always go blank?". Well, we hope after watching this video you will never experience this feeling
anymore because there are some principles you can implement into your daily interactions with others
to keep conversation flowing. Here are 8 Rules on How to Never Run Out of Things To Say.
Number 1 - Listen to your interlocutor carefully Once you get someone talking, all you have
to do is listen. People love talking about themselves. Who doesn't? Make it about them
and listen carefully to what the person is saying. Try inserting some fill-in words, such as "uhu",
"alright" or "okay", showing your involvement in the conversation by occasionally nodding,
repeating important points, and asking leading questions. Conversation means more than just
avoiding uncomfortable silences and asking questions. It means being able to tell when and
where to say something and when and where not to. Next time you are engaged with a friend, stranger,
or colleague, let them lead the conversation without you trying to fill in every silence.
There is so much freedom in being in the present and not having to think about what to say next.
Number 2 - Ask something personal Every person is his/her own world. Every
individual has so many experiences, life lessons and stories to share. Regardless of who they are.
Ask someone a personal question, something that will trigger them to tell you more about their
life, passion or stories. Keep open-ended questions in mind instead of yes/no ones,
since they allow the person you are speaking to the opportunity to speak freely without feeling
pressured. Something simple like "What have you been up to today?" or "What do you do for fun?".
Let them know you care and try to understand their universe a bit deeper if they seem
to be engaging and worth talking with. Number 3 - Make simple, positive comments
That is a great way to open up your interlocutors and make them feel good around you. For example,
if you see someone smiling make a comment like "you look very happy today, what happened?"
or you see that someone is fit you can say "you aren't missing any workout days are you?".
That way you have a new conversational material to discuss.
Fabricating statements does not make sense. Your mind already makes statements about
everything - that's how the mind works. Feel free to express those thoughts.
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Number 4 - Use things around you to begin new topics
Take inspiration from your environment to come up with new topics for your
discussion if you have already exhausted your list of topics.
Taking control of the situation gives you the chance to show the other person that
you can create conversation out of almost any topic. If there's an airplane flying overhead,
instead of staying awkward in the silence try to speak about your aspirations to travel the world,
or embarrassing vacation stories. Alternatively, if there are people playing some sport,
talk about your own experience with some discipline, mention some funny stories or talk
about the sports you would like to play, but you have never had a chance to do it. Use these
moments to observe the environment and create conversational topics based on what you see.
Number 5 - Look for mutual topics We feel a sense of relief when we discover
we have something in common with another human being, and an automatic spark to our friendship.
Make it an occasional habit to discuss things that interest you. If someone asks what you were up to
over the weekend, you could say, "I met up with my colleague friend yesterday," or "I went to the
gym and then took my girlfriend to the cinema," or "I've read an amazing book about cooking!".
As you can see these sentences will create a field to discuss new topics, and if you come across
someone who's also interested in these things, they'll probably want to hear more about it.
Number 6 - Share something about you
You are wrong if you think that people only want to talk about themselves. Also, they wanted to get
to know who they are speaking to - you. Sharing things about yourself can be interesting as long
as you're also showing interest in the other person. How much you share will depend on how
much the other person will share. If someone gives you an in-depth explanation of the things they do
in work, give them an in-depth explanation of your work. If they just briefly mention what they do,
feel free to do the same. The bonding process is enhanced because you and your partner are both
revealing things in a similar way. This increases the level of interest in the relationship because
both of you are simultaneously opening up without one person bombarding the other with information.
Number 7 - Don't try so hard
Remember, that you are not competing in likeability contests,
therefore do not be too pushy. Relax a little bit
and try to focus on the moment. Instead of being on edge trying to come up with things to say,
sometimes allow for silences. Understand that it might take a few seconds longer to formulate an
answer. Instead of trying to make people like you, make sure that they like being AROUND you.
Be an attentive listener. When you talk, you say things that you think are fun or interesting for
the other person to hear, do not brag too much about yourself. It's human nature to have the need
to be liked and to be heard by people that really take the time to pay attention to them. At the end
of the day, people won't remember what you said or did; they will remember how you made them feel.
Number 8 - Remember, that conversations do not last forever
There is a secret art to ending a conversation gracefully.
It is common knowledge that making a good first impression is important, but what if about making
a good last impression is even more important? You know it's time to end a conversation when
somebody is bored (look at their feet), someone or something interrupts, you (or they) are starting
to repeat themselves, you or they need to go. Now, this is the secret you have to remember:
you should end the conversation just slightly after the interaction hits its peak!
And this could be hard because nobody wants to stop the fun and be the party breaker.
By ending conversations on a high note keeps the levels of excitement
high and potentially avoids an awkward end to a conversation.
And you might be thinking what is the best way to end a conversation? Simply thanking for the
encounter, bringing up some future plans and a big smile on your face will do the work.
Now, we have a question for you.
Which rule will be the most difficult for you? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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