I don't think anybody can ever imagine
having to live through this before something
like this happens.
I was one of those people that would say, "Oh, I can't even
imagine," until you have to.
It was just a regular Tuesday morning, and at one point
I was right here in the kitchen, and I was washing the dishes.
And my three-year-old Elsie's little friend
came and tapped me on the hip, and she said, "Elsie's hanging
by the string."
I didn't even turn off the water.
And I walked into my front room, and I
found that Elsie had become entangled in the cord
from our blinds.
She wasn't breathing, and she didn't have a heartbeat.
And then the paramedics came, and she was Life Flighted
to Primary Children's Hospital.
And then ultimately, she was pronounced brain dead,
and she passed away about a week later.
If that's the only part that you know of our story,
it just sounds like a terrible tragedy.
But we also got to see so many miracles along the way.
Starting at the beginning, that morning,
I received a group text from a friend that
needed a last-minute sitter.
And if not for that little girl being here,
I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to find Elsie.
The paramedics just happened to be on break three minutes away.
I have no medical training at all,
but I performed CPR perfectly that by the time
the paramedics came, I had started her heart.
And she was beginning to take breaths on her own.
And so with the way that those miracles all fell into place,
we felt like we had every reason to hope
for the best possible outcome, a miraculous healing.
When the brain scans came back, and they
showed very little brain activity,
and even that was beginning to decline,
personally, I wondered why was I able to save her.
But I wasn't able to save her.
We went to the temple to pray and to seek guidance.
I received a pretty clear prompting
that she would not live.
And I was just devastated.
I felt so guilty.
I felt like it was my fault.
But when I spoke with my husband,
he felt that same prompting.
But he also felt a pretty strong prompting about organ donation.
And that was that missing piece for me.
That miraculous healing, it wasn't meant for Elsie.
But it would come from Elsie for others,
that it would be an answer to somebody else's
fervent prayers.
Faith doesn't protect you from grief or mourning or sadness.
I felt like I should have done more.
I should have saved her.
I should have watched her closer.
Why didn't I hear the prompting to check on her sooner?
And I don't believe that there was one.
That's the part that I have had to work through and learn how
to apply His grace--that there are things that happen that it
feels like we can't fix; something that was done that
can't be undone; that the things that aren't right in this
world, they will be right in the world to come;
that accidents are a part of mortality.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SINGING] There's been sad songs--
Now, it is written on my heart that I
know I will see her again.
And because of that change in perspective,
it changes everything about the way that I live
and the choices I make.
I still make mistakes daily, but I try a little harder.
I have a little more motivation to choose well.
[SINGING] Still brokenhearted.
[INAUDIBLE] how long it's been.
We'll meet again.
Peek-a-boo.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHTER]