It's no secret here on Stuff Mom Never Told You that I am a feminist. Y'all knew that,
right? I get a lot of questions from people asking how to talk about feminism or call
out sexist behavior in their daily lives. I rounded up a few hopefully helpful tips
on how to talk about the f-word with friends and family.
Tip number one, understand your privilege.This word privilege has become about as controversial
and provocative as the word feminism itself. All that it really means is identifying and
understanding how personal attributes that you have influence certain advantages that
you might enjoy as you move through the world. For instance, I am white, cis gender, heterosexual
and able-bodied. Depending on where I am and what's going on society does bestow little
bonuses based on those kinds of attributes. Understanding your own privilege is not meant
to induce guilt for being who you are, rather to open your mind up to understanding how
experiences for you are going to be different than the same experience and how it's processed
for another person who might have different attributes from you. In other words I think
it's really important to understand what's going on inward before you start pointing
fingers outward. Number two, keep it simple. People like to misrepresent feminism as this
list of rules and behaviors that you have to abide by. It just boils down to the social,
political and economic equality of all genders. Period. Tip number three, lead by example.
Put another way be the change that you want to see. If you can live as feminist, make
feminist choices, be accepting of people, keep intersectionality and privilege in mind,
than that's what makes the impression on people. One celebrity example, Taylor Swift has explicitly
said that Lena Dunham just being herself is what turned her on to feminism. Tip number
four, look for opportunities of agreement. In the same way that I think feminists should
fearlessly call out directly sexist behavior, I think we should also fearlessly call out
situations and behaviors that we completely agree with. Identify things that are totally
feminist and promoting inclusivity and gender equality. It could be something as simple
as say a clothing brand opting to use more diverse models in its advertisements or say
if you're in school, learning about students who have stood up to sexist dress code standards,
these kinds of easy conversation topics that are talking about feminism without directly
talking about feminism. Tip number five, don't be afraid of the stereotype. A lot of people
who have asked me this question about how to talk about feminism with friends say that
they're scared of being misidentified as being some kind of angry, hairy man-hating monster
which is a complete fabrication of what feminism is and what feminists are. One of the most
effective things you can probably do to dismantle all of these negative stereotypes about feminism
is to raise your hand and say, 'Hey, I'm a feminist.' If your friends are initially weirded
out by that, it's okay because they'll probably still realize that you are still you. Some
tweets to @momstuffpodcast about this very question include Marcus Druby who says, 'Stay
calm. Many people have misconceptions about feminists. Don't get mad if they point out
an obvious stereotype.' Lilkingtrashmouth said, 'Always remember that it's not a product
you need to sell someone on. It's a social movement.' Queen Devrie tweeted, 'Don't worry
about sounding like a stereotype. Really if they're friends and can't see aren't one,
that's their problem.' LionTamerBones suggested asking questions like, 'Ever notice that sexually
active women are sluts and sexually active men are just men?' I look forward to seeing
your tips in the comments below.