pika pika
bitch
dun na na na
dunnn
yes, I just did my intro in ASMR
because
fuckery man.
hello my little fuckers. welcome back to my channel, if you're new here
let me just get something straight.
i... am not a furry
I've never have, I never will be
*Intense zoom* I just like Pokemon!
also, I lost my voice so I kinda have to do an ASMR video
another thing. I've never done ASMR, so
don't clock me on that, professionals
but I was just watching fruitypoppin the other day
which if you don't know who she is, she's the most
amazing, Canadian asian
and she can speak Chinese so eHuAEh
but that video made me want to get back
into my asian roots
today I have with me some fruit tea
like the rebel that I am because fuck Chinese tea. taste terrible
*weird noise* its good, good texture
so today we're going to be doing
an asian ASMR video, and we're gonna start off
with some ramen, lets just get a close up
of this beautiful- wait, shit
we're not gonna spill it today, I've done that before
for everyone who doesn't know how to use chopsticks, you take one stick,
take the other stick, and then you chop.
simple as that. and if you're an asian who doesn't understand
how to use chopsticks
the fuck you doin then
also, if you're still watching and you don't like ASMR or the sound of people
eating
what the hell are you doing. why did you click on this video? get off!
I'm about to eat noodles in front of you! because we all know
mukbong mukbang
still don't know how to pronounce it. they have many... slurping
sounds
oh wait
oh my god. I can't really show this but can you tell
that there is
no sauce?!
how the fuck am I going to eat noodles without sauce?
dammit. alright well we're going to cancel the noodle ASMR
part of this video for now because your boy
*brings microphone closer* is extremely dumb
but don't worry, my fellow asians, I have many, many,
asian asmr things.
yes, that is nice
eH, it's hawt
you can't feel that through asmr though
these are seedless lychees
and for anyone that pronounces it lie-chees
stop fucking lying to yourself, it's lee-chee god damnit
get your asian fruit pronunciation right for once
bitch
this isn't an asian thing but it's a beauty guru thing
and we all know, I love being a beauty guru
lemme just
oh wait that's a little too sexual
pg13 Frederic
but while we're here
let's make use of this
that's an asian trick by the way
noOO IT'S NOT IT'S NOT
that was my stomach
sorry to anyone who isn't comfortable with this stuff
but what were you expecting from me
you all should know
that the level of fuckery on this channel
is at an all time high
I don't give two shits anymore to 2018
I have here with me some beautiful
grape gummy candies
this isn't Chinese
but it's Japanese so to all my Japanese people
I hope this gets you off
that's also too sexual Frederic oh my god
luckily I don't have to open that because I have
a jar from christmas
and I've already eaten this much
oh yeah, this is how those people do it
lemme just slowly... ever so slightly
let's get a good close up on this
beauty guru time
oUH
and here is the apple watch 10
it's very gummy, good texture
could you even hear that?
alright, so for anyone who doesn't like chewing sounds
no, it has to be an asian asmr video Frederic
this right here is one of my pets
that my parents will let me have because like every asian
household they fucking hate anything dirty
so why would you think I have an animal in this house?
choo choo bitch
I'm making a video here
so let's ju- *hOnK*
beauty guru this...bitch focus on the cat not on me
it's not all about me today
let's just
ohh
let's get a louder look at this
another thing many asians are fond of
is this grain right here it's called
RICE
yes bitch
it's very- chbOh *BEEP*
we're not gonna do that again
it's very...
grainy
now what I want you to do is pretend it's raining outside
but instead of cloudy with the chance of meatballs
it's cloudy with the chance of...rice, motherfucker
this probably sounds really good
this turns every asian on by the way
I have with me, one of the most famous
soup pots, in the world
you can get it at any soup place
preferably an asian because
what the fuck
how to stay loyal
and traditional
let's get a close up of this
yes.
but inside of here
is not just a regular, soup
I have with me here
a tWO MONTH OLD COOKIE
I haven't frozen it or anything it's just been sitting on my desk
and I think- hold on
I think
can you hear that?
this bitch is a rock
how the fuck am I-
probably shouldn't eat that
but why am I eating it?
I hope you enjoyed, *jiggles lychee*
this amazing, *crunches jelly bag*
pikachu ASMR
and let me know if you actually enjoyed this
and you want more of this fuckery
because I will
make more
there are many other asian things in this household
and I will be sure
will find. EVERY. SINGLE. ASIAN. ITEM
and asmr it
with my pikachu onesie on because
I love pokemon, bitch
but if you enjoyed this video
make sure you give it a like
leave a comment down below
and subscribe
'cause I post videos every saturday
and whenever I want
share this video with all the other professional asmr people
so that they can flag this channel as inappropriate
(I literally can't omfg)