Hero. Creep.
You’d think something like this would be
pretty cut and dry right? But no, that would be too easy. What
fun is a society where people are treated equally and guys
treat women with respect and don’t try to justify a creep
unwantedly touching a woman because of “what she was
wearing?” But since this is the reality, I thought I’d spend a
minute addressing a few of the overwhelming number of
disgusting comments posted around the internet attempting
to explain away sexual assault. And as you’d expect most of
these comments come from those clearly fragile souls still
shaken from their first ever interaction with a female
21-year-old Emelia Holden was working in a restaurant in
Georgia when 31-year-old Floridian Ryan Cherwinski -
that’s RYAN CHERWINSKI - sexually assaulted her, claiming
that he “just tried to push her out the way.” She was having
none of it, and so she dropped him, all while keeping hold of
the cheque. He was subsequently arrested and charged with sexual
battery. But as I mentioned, not everyone sees this situation as
a straightforward case, which is why this toxic problem still
plagues society. So let’s make this clear. This is never ok.
Never. I don’t care what a person is wearing, it is not an
invite for you to think you have touching privileges, nor is it
the woman’s fault that said man doesn’t have the self control to
walk past her without committing assault. Yet people like Felix,
yeah Felix thinks, “No, this isn’t ok but at the same time,
she shouldn’t be wearing that.” Or good old John here who
commented, “If it ain’t for sale, don’t put it in the
window”. Or Gary, or Nick or the countless other comments from
people whose toxic masculinity means they instinctively victim
shame. Alright listen up fellas. Just because you think that a
woman’s outfit gives you the freedom to try and reenact your
shallow Saturday night pornhub marathon, it doesn’t. These men
are the epitome of cowardice. They have been brainwashed into
thinking that this attitude is what it means to be a man. Yeah
“I’m a man” Guns ‘n’ shit. Assault n shit. When the reality
is they are so warped by this “fear of emasculation” that
they’re driven to prove their masculinity by sexually
assaulting or justifying others’ sexual assaults to feel better
about themselves. And I’m not even going to attempt to
empathize with the whole, “What if this was your wife or
daughter - would you still victim shame?” bullshit, because
whether you have 12 daughters or you live in a remote hut in Nova
Scotia, you should realize that this should never happen to
anyone. It shouldn’t take a guy realizing that an assault could
just as easily happen to his own daughter to understand that it’s
fundamentally wrong and toxic, it just takes decency. Human
decency and integrity. Guys have had daughters and mothers their
whole lives, but these assaults still happen and people still
make excuses for it. And the only way that changes is if the
problem is addressed by the most frequent perpetrators. Women
have been telling us to stop the unwanted touching for decades,
and it still remains a pervasive, intractable stain on
our society. It’s on other men to stand up and fight back
against this warped perception of masculinity that has allowed
this treatment to anchor itself into society, and rid the world
of it. You know the same way that racism will not be solved
by only black people saying, “Hey how about you treat us
equally?” because they’ve been saying that for decades and yet
widespread, systemic racism remains, this issue will not be
addressed solely by woman speaking up and fighting back.
The metoo movement has been monumental in furthering
conversations and shedding light on how often this problem occurs
in all walks of life, but men must join this conversation and
fight back against fellow men like those mentioned above who
shame victims, and try to justify sexual assault with BS
defenses like “She was asking for it” or “Boys will be boys,”
and work to tear down this fraud sense of “masculinity.” It’s
more a sense of what does it mean to be human.