(suspenseful music)
- What is wrong with this kid?
What the heck?
(movie dialogue)
(terrified screaming)
(quirky music)
- Hi!
- [Female Host] Hi, what's your name?
- Alexis.
- My name is Raymond and I am a huge scaredy cat.
I just am terrified of horror films.
I hate them.
I refuse to watch them unless I'm forced to.
- My partner tricked me to go see "IT".
Because I thought it was about clowns.
I was like, "I love the circus, like absolutely."
And then we got there and it was not about fun clowns.
I'm afraid of blood, gore, serial killers.
- Demons, supernatural things.
- I unfortunately have sleep paralysis.
It's where you are sleeping,
yet you wake up and you see and hallucinate shadows
or beings.
The combination of sleep paralysis,
living in haunted houses, you know,
experiencing supernaturals.
I don't fucking like horror movies.
- Wait, are the lights gonna be off?
Is it?
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay.
Oh, fuck.
Oh my God.
Why is the title screen so scary?
- See they already started it off
like somebody's going to die.
- Is this gorey as well?
Is the-
(suspenseful music)
(woman screams)
- Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Look at the-
(Alexis gasps)
(glass breaks)
(screams)
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Can I get a cat? I'm not ready for what's gonna happen.
Oh my God, I'm so scared.
I'm so scared.
- [Female Host] May we please have one cat?
- Is this kid gonna die?
- Aw!
Hi!
- Mr Fluffball!
It's just a little marshmallow!
- What if I scare the cat?
- [Female Host] I mean, I'm going to take him away.
- Wait, what? He doesn't stay with me?
No.
No!
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
- Okay, let's keep going.
That was a nice break.
- What the...
(scared noises)
What is that?
Is that blood?
Oh no, no no, no, no, no, no.
(Raymond shouts)
What the... Ah!
(suspenseful music)
My God, I feel like I'm gonna die.
There's three this time!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Calm me down, calm me down, calm me down.
Calm me down, calm me down, oh my gosh.
Oh my God, oh my God!
- [Female Host] Ready?
- No, but yes.
(Raymond screams)
- I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Okay, okay, I'm fine!
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!
(creepy music)
(terrified screaming)
- Cat!
- [Female Host] You ready for a cat?
(scared noises)
- One, two, three, four, five.
You're five.
There's five of them.
Look at that meatball.
Look at that meatball!
Look at this one. This one's just...
This one's rowdy.
- [Female Host] Is this making you feel better?
(quirky music)
- I feel so much better.
Like I'm being serious right now.
This is really fucking weird to watch
because it's weird to see something that, like,
I hallucinate and then Sony made
like such a picturesque version of my hallucination.
Like I see that.
I don't wanna see that.
(intense music)
- Oh my God.
Oh.
(screaming)
Oh, no.
It's sticking out of her leg!
(horrified noises)
- [Female Host] You handled the broken leg pretty well.
- You thought it was pretty well?
Well, thank you.
(Alexis laughs)
Still don't like the movie,
but I'm getting through it with these guys.
- [Female Host] I wish you could keep them,
but unfortunately we do have to take them away.
- It's okay.
- [Female Host] And keep putting your though this.
(creepy music)
- Oh God.
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
- [Shining Twins] Come and play with us.
- Oh my God, they're talking.
Fuck, oh my God.
No.
(scary music intensifies)
- [Shining Twins] Come and play with us, Danny.
(Raymond screams)
Oh fuck, oh my god.
Oh my God.
(screaming intensifies)
I'm scared that it's going to get scarier.
I'm like already terrified.
Do those, like, creepy girls come back?
They come back, don't they?
- [Female Host] Yeah, a little bit.
- They're the worst!
They're the scariest ones.
- If a ghost's slow,
that means you can outrun it.
(creepy music)
I'm fine.
Yeah, this is bullshit.
(terrified screaming)
Oh, my God! I'm fine!
I'm fine! I'm fine!
I'm fine, I don't care.
- Girl, run! Run!
Stop trying to fight, just run!
Why everybody wanna fight?
No! No!
(scared noises)
(Alexis screams)
Hi! Oh, there's another one underneath!
- [Female Host] Is it the worst movie you've ever seen?
- Yes, there's just so much blood.
I don't know why everyone's trying to fight.
Just... just run.
(heavy breathing)
(screaming)
- I'm so sorry.
That poor cat, that poor fucking cat.
This is not scary.
(creepy sounds)
We should not be scared
because this isn't real.
Yeah, 'cause it's not real.
(screams)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(screams)
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Alexis screams)
- What in the-
(scary music)
- Oh, my God.
He's going to get her.
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
(screams)
Oh, fuck!
(screams)
- [Female Host] How are you liking the movie so far?
- Not liking it at all.
I have so much anxiety.
I feel like my chest is about to explode.
- No!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(scared noises)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(screams)
(suspenseful music)
(Raymond screams)
- What the fuck! Why's he look like that?
(screaming)
Oh, my God. I'm stressed.
Oh my God.
- [Female Host] How was it?
- It was fun, but horrible at the same time.
- I did not like that one bit.
- [Female Host] What part was the most hardcore?
- How accurate the imagery was
about what I have experienced as sleep paralysis
and what I've seen in the hauntings
that I've been involved in.
- The cats weren't here, I think I would have cried.
Or peed my pants.
Or both.
- [Female Host] Do you think you'll ever watch
a horror movie again?
- No.
- This might be the last one I ever watch in my life.
Holy shit.
- Maybe if I can have a breaks with kittens,
maybe I'll watch another horror movie.
- Happy Halloween!
- Happy Halloween, I'm a scaredy cat.
- I'm a big scaredy cat.
(phone ringing)
- [Sam] Yeah.
- Hi, honey bunny.
- [Sam] What's up?
- I'm in the middle of a shoot right now
and there are kittens and some of them are adoptable.
And- - [Sam] No.
- Sam.
- [Sam] You are overstimulated by kittens.
- But do you love me?
If I...
- [Sam] You know I love you, good bye!
- Okay, I love you. Bye bye.
I should get the cat, though.