I have a 22-year-old son
who is forced to move back in with us
and he is playing video games into the night.
He's returned to being like a 12, 13-year-old.
Charlie moved back into our home
couple months ago, he was a bartender.
He was going to school part time
and now he's a professional video game player.
We're not on a very good path.
It's stressful for everybody to be stuck together.
We're trying to figure out a way
to turn his focus around
and get him to pay more attention to his future.
We are, sort of, three adults living together,
except that we are still
the mom and the dad with a kid.
My wife watches your show,
I don't think she's ever missed a show.
Now all you have to do is tell us
how to get our son motivated and back to work.
Now, Karen and Chuck are joining this conversation
from their home in Oregon,
from two different parts of their home.
So guys, how you doing today?
We are, I'm great, thank you.
Chuck, do you both agree that your son Charlie
is not handling this very well,
not maximizing his time?
Yes, I think we both agree to that,
to some differing degree.
I think Karen worries a little more
about it than I do.
Karen, would you be guilty of being a helicopter mom?
'Cause I'm gonna tell you, before you answer,
that that's how Charlie describes you.
Oh okay, so when I got the phone call
and I went into his bedroom
and I said, "Do you know how worried I am about you?
"Because I went on Dr. Phil's website
"and I typed this thing in
"and now they're calling me."
And he looked at me and he said,
"I can't wait to tell Dr. Phil all about
"how crazy you are!"
You think he's not doing what he should be doing
while he's living at home, right?
Well, that and also I went into,
sort of, fight and flight mode when this all started
and I was like, "Okay, now we're gonna clean everything
"and we're gonna do this, we're gonna run around,
"we're gonna sign up for classes, we're gonna,"
you know, in my own world
and he didn't have that urgency
to now make himself better.
What's the problem here,
what is it he's doin' that he shouldn't be doing,
or isn't doing that he should be doing?
'Cause I want to help, I just,
I can't figure out what it is
Karen has a problem with.
Yeah, she sees his lack of motivation, I do too.
He, instead of spending x number of hours,
out either looking, or working,
which he does have a part-time job,
so he could be spending time on that,
it's too much flexibility.
He'd rather be playing video games up in his room.
I would like to see his emphasis on,
out trying to pad his pocketbook for one thing.
He could take advantage of the situation
and increase his bank account by working hard.
Right, and we are, of course,
on really high restriction right now.
And how much of a lockdown are you on there?
It's a statewide lockdown.
Everything is closed.
I suppose he could get a job doing,
what are called essential things,
and there are certainly plenty of those.
But I'm also concerned, Chuck,
about the fact that you're in a age group
that, if you are to contract this virus,
that's a much higher risk group for you
then it would be, even for Karen
and certain for Charlie.
Are you concerned about that at all,
if he goes out, works, gets exposed
to people and then comes home?
I'm not, he's been very careful.
He was doing deliveries, grocery deliveries.
Well, he still is, and he's been very careful.
Wearing a mask, washing hands frequently,
coming and going. Now can I hop in there
because that is not, he has not been really careful.
That was one of the things,
I mean, it's ebbing and flowing,
but he was driving me completely crazy
and his friends were coming over
and they have a different mindset about all this.
They just don't really think it's anything serious.
So, I had a whole list, wash his hands,
wear a mask when he's doing the Instacart thing.