- I wanna be real with you I don't know much about sports
so I'm not really qualified to make this video but I do have
a degree in Psychology which means I'm extremely qualified
to act like I know things.
What up everyone?
It's your girl Superwoman I am a toddler, I just I can't
make videos with my hair open anymore I just can't because
it gets so hot, it's up to my neck, I'm sweating, I need
more deodorant, it's a whole thing
and the NBA Finals are upon us.
Now if you live in some part of the world that doesn't give
an eff about basketball then I'm sure there's some other
sport you love like baseball, or hockey, or soccer,
or Tinder.
Regardless of where you live I'm sure you know at least one
of these types of sports fans.
And before I begin I promise this is gonna be original okay?
I'm not gonna start with the bandwagon fan that we've all
heard about and typical crap like that okay?
I'm not starting with that fan that jumps on board
and heads with a bunch of people to a similar destination.
Number one, The Carpooler.
Now I feel like a lot of people get upset at this type of
fan because this person jumps on board and starts supporting
a team when that team starts doing well and I get how that
can kind of be annoying because fans are fans for so many
years and then you got this new person you're like
exsqueeze me?
But here's the thing right, aren't sports meant to bring
people together?
And does it really matter if someone's been a fan since
today or since a year?
Doesn't it just matter that they're supporting their team
and showing pride?
And most importantly aren't these people great because
I'm one of them?
Now if you know anything about me you know I'm a huge
Raptors fan, ah what up Tasia Rap fans?
Now if you're not familiar with the Raptors the Raptors
are Canada's official team for the annual
Jurassic Park Games.
And if you believe that sentence chances are you're voting
for Trump because you're so easily manipulated.
Just kidding, no I'm not, no I'm not.
You should give yourself a wedgie.
And the Raptors are Canada's basketball team eh.
And I'm a be real with you I try my best to catch the
regular season but I travel a lot and I have a super busy
schedule so I can't always do that.
But when they make the playoffs I'm all over that ish.
I'm attending games, I'm changing my schedule,
I'm dropping guac money on those games.
I'm at the Apple Store on a stool by a computer from nine to
five sending emails so I can cancel my own WiFi and save
money for these games.
I'm using two pencils as chopsticks so I don't gotta waste
money on utensils for these games.
I put a magnifying glass in front of an iPhone 4 to watch
TV to save money for these games.
So don't be hating on me because I'm a carpooler because
I put in work for these games okay?
And also I like to be a part of something.
Number two, The Emo.
Now we all know at least one person that talks about
sporting events as if they were physically a part of
the team and they say things like yo we need to win this
game, we need to get it together,
can't believe we let that happen.
And I'm just sitting over here like mother effer
what do you mean we?
These athletes are out here risking their bodies, getting
injuries, putting in work.
You sitting on the couch eating Hot Cheetos and picking
that wedgie from the first part of the video.
Who is we?
You saying you and Steph Curry just boys now?
Y'all on the same team, y'all in this together now?
You think that if you were boys with Steph Curry
I wouldn't be enoruaging you to have boys night
at our place more often?
You think I wouldn't be arranging a Secret Santa with your
friends and I?
You think I wouldn't be making peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches for your friends right now?
You think that if you were taking selfies with
Cristiano Ronaldo and he was all up in your iMessage that I
would be wearing my PJs when your boys come over?
You think I wouldn't be shaving these legs, and winging
this liner, and investing in some Febreze for this house,
and hiring a gardener if your boy was Cristiano Ronaldo?
Who the eff you talking we?
And when their team loses they're intolerable because
they're so emotional, and angry, and they act irrational,
and they lash out.
I once dated this dude and every time his soccer team lost
straight up homeboy would hang up on me, run away from
home, skip leg day, and deactivate his Facebook.
Like calm the eff down.
Like I wouldn't be surprised if he went and robbed a bank
and then in court he was like no you know what I was upset
and emotionally impacted because my team lost.
But let's be real he wouldn't get off the hook okay?
He doesn't have that kind of privilege.
He ain't Brock Turner.
Number three, The Defence.
These are the fans that will go to the edge of the earth to
defend their team even if their team is completely
in the wrong.
You know what I'm talking about the fans that are watching
a game and they're just gonna question every call.
What foul?
Unbelievable, penalty?
Are you stupid ref?
Out of bounds?
Boy are you blind?
Straight up if Jigsaw from Saw was playing on this team
they'll be like okay he barely even cut his head off.
Show the replay and there's just blood everywhere.
Come one he didn't even touch him!
Straight up the guy's getting wheeled out on a gurney.
Look at him, he's fine.
And if the opposing team so much as sneezes on the bench
this person will be like where the foul at?
Where the foul at?
Just so loyal, straight up Brienne of Tarth mentality
just like I swore an oath to the day I die, to support
and serve the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Brienne of Tar?
Brienne of Tarp?
Brienne of, is the castle made of tarp?
Brienne you know who I'm talking about, Game of Thrones.
It's the tall one, the blonde, you know what,
you expect me to remember all those characters?
Get the eff outta here, I don't even remember all the states
in Canada.
If you didn't see anything wrong with that sentence
you're definitely voting for Trump.
But no straight up let's just say this sports fan has twins
and both of their names are standard.
You get it because it's double standard,
you know what I, when I was writing this I don't know if
that joke was clear or not so I think I have to explain it,
like in a flow chart.
Should I put a diagram?
Hmm we'll see, it's a lot of editing.
(heavy sigh)
I could just get better at my job.
It also sounds like a lot of work.
(sighs)
I'm hungry.
Speaking of which number four, The Eater.
Yo you know what I love about sports right is that you can
eat and drink beverages while watching them.
Everybody knows that whenever you're watching the game in
person or from home it is customary to have a lot of food
and drinks.
If you go to someone's house and they don't got no snacks
you really need to question the type of people you have in
your life because if you go to someone's house and they
don't have no snacks, you're getting pranked okay?
If they don't got no snacks Roman Atwood is hiding behind
the couch.
If they don't got no snacks they don't like you.
If go to watch the game at someone's house and they don't
have no snacks you should feel bad okay?
Because even Katniss and Gale shared some bread and they
were prepping for the mother effing Hunger Games.
You're telling me that Jack from work couldn't get some
chips and dip for you?
How hard is it to make some dip?
Open your fridge, any two ingredients, blend that ish
together you got yourself some dip.
If you go and there's no dip you need to dip my friend.
(laughs)
I just want the chips and dip.
(laughs)
I'm so weird, that is so weird.
No but for real because some people don't even care about
the game as much as they care about the snacks
and the drinks okay?
Some people be drinking beer and they're like wait,
there's a game going on while I drink my beer?
What?
Imagine a game with no beer, no beer makes Homer go
something something, crazy?
Don't mind if I do!
Just kidding I hate beer, I think it,
I don't believe anyone that tells me they think beer
doesn't taste like piss okay?
Beer tastes like such piss.
And I know people say it's an acquired taste.
So is the new Instagram layout, I hate that too.
Number five, the Athletic Genius.
This person just turns into captain obvious during
a game yelling out things that they believe are so easily
achievable and no one else is thinking about.
They're yelling out things like just shoot it,
pass the ball, just kick it.
Do you not think that's what they're trying to do
my friend?
What you're yelling isn't easy, there's many factors that
come into play.
Just hit the ball.
Just get a touchdown.
Just tackle him.
Like bro, do you remember that time you tripped
while standing?
Get the eff outta here.
And do you remember that time all these people are
professional athletes that are 10 million times better
than you and you're yelling at them from the safety of
your home eating peanuts.
Straight up this person is acting like me
in a relationship okay?
Just demanding things instantly because we believe they're
so easy.
Just read my mind.
Just get me fries.
Just kiss my neck.
Just say the right thing.
Just tell me I'm right.
What the eff didn't I tell you yesterday to grow a beard
yet here you are again looking like Tommy from Rugrats.
Honestly be gone.
(Humming Rugrats theme song)
Number six, The Anti.
This is the person who doesn't care about sports.
They can't be bothered with sports, they don't like it,
they don't get it, they would rather do literally anything
else than watch the game.
I'm talking this person would rather grab everybody's
laptop and cell phone, and install the newest update,
and restart everyone's ish instead of watch the game.
I'm talking this person would rather watch Mufasa die
over and over and over again and get emotionally scarred
than watch the game.
I'm talking this person would rather be Mufasa
than watch the game.
This person doesn't know anything about the game so they
would voluntarily give themselves rug-burn than watch
another period of this basketball game or watch another
basket in this football game.
There is it relatable now?
I had to include one for people that don't like sports
there okay I'm so relatable click thumbs up come on.
No but for real I hope all you sports fans enjoy this
video and for those of you that like curling and think
that's a sport, I hope you also enjoy this video.
Yo if you liked this video if you chuckled a little bit
or maybe you hated it but you just wanna do a good deed
click the thumbs up, comment below letting me know are you
into sports?
Which sports do you follow?
Let me know, I wanna know, because I wanna get to know you.
Speed dating, go check out my last video right over there
it is...
What is it?
Oh yes my thoughts every single night,
I'm so good at my job.
My thoughts every single night, my second vlog channel
is right over there.
Also tomorrow, June 14th is my monthly live stream
ask Superwoman live it is happening at 2:00 PM
Pacific Standard Time all the information is in
the description for an hour I'll be answering your
questions live, giving you shout-outs, acting a fool
so check that out as well.
Also click subscribe because I make new videos every
Monday and Thursday and I genuinely would love for you
to be here because we can spread positivity together
in the world and act silly.
And do, and do stuff okay.
One love Superwoman that is a wrap
and zoop.
Energy drinks, more energy drinks.