Hey, you guys, welcome to this episode
of The Rachel Cruze Show.
So today we're going to be talking about
raising kids at every stage of life,
and I'm bringing on parenting expert
and my dear friend, Dr. Meg Meeker.
But first, since it's Father's Day,
it's like right around the corner,
I thought it would be so fun to bring my father,
my dad, on the show, Dave Ramsey.
So, thanks for being here.
- I'm honored, this is The Rachel Cruze Show, wow.
- I know, isn't it like huge and fun?
- It's like a big deal, it's a big deal.
- It's so fun, it's so fun.
- Got your own coffee cup, you're a big deal.
- Oh, do I ever?
I'm like so excited about it.
So, tell me this, as a dad,
when you look back on raising us three kids,
'cause those of you that don't know,
I have an older sister, a younger brother,
around the time when,
especially my sister and I were young,
is when you and mom were filing for bankruptcy,
I mean that whole thing was kinda falling apart.
So talk to me about that season of life,
like how did you get through that struggle
when you were raising kids?
- We were just worried that we could like,
keep you warm and fed.
We really weren't necessarily concerned
about your emotional well-being,
we were just trying to survive.
We didn't throw emotional stuff on you guys,
like scare you to death or something,
you were, of course, a baby,
but we didn't like,
run around the house going:
we're losing our home, we're losing our home!
- Foreclosure is right around the corner!
- You know, it wasn't like a bad movie,
you know, or something,
- Right, right, right.
- But that was going on.
- Yes.
- And so you just gotta deal with that
and then how to protect you guys,
but also walk you through whatever
the realities of those things are.
- Yeah, so parents ask me a lot,
okay, so how do I talk to my kids about my mistakes?
How do you feel like you and mom did that?
Like, I have my perspective,
but were you guys intentional with that,
'cause I think that's something that's so important
with parents when you're teaching
your kids about money,
with the mistakes, and that was a huge mistake,
I mean you guys went into debt
and filed for bankruptcy,
so how do you feel like you shared
those mistakes well with us?
- Well I think we shared what we did that caused that.
Okay, so the mistake was we went into debt,
the mistake was we built a house of cards.
We were trying to get rich quick.
The mistake was that we didn't have a plan,
the mistake was we weren't steadily
and regularly giving.
The mistake was.
And so the tactical things that caused the overall meltdown,
we didn't say the mistake was the bankruptcy,
no, it's the things that led to that,
that were the individual mistakes.
And so they become little one-off nuanced lessons
rather than this big overwhelming melodrama lesson.
Now when I'm on stage talking to an audience,
I want the melodrama lesson for everybody
to connect and go,
oh, that guy's done stupid, he knows how it feels.
I put that whole thing out there then,
but when you're dealing with a child in there,
I'm just dealing with,
okay, this is why we don't do debt,
'cause we did it one time.
This is why we do a budget,
'cause we didn't do that one time.
And you nuance off from that.
- Yeah, that's so good.
So after the bankruptcy you started
finding your way, you know, very organically
about helping people manage their money well,
via your mistakes.
So Financial Peace University was kinda taking off,
you were on the radio show,
you were traveling for live events.
So I'm curious about you're kind of work-life balance,
and how you did it all as a dad,
'cause a lot of moms,
we talk about this a lot with women,
like, how do you do it all?
How do you raise kids and work and all that?
But I'm curious from a dad's perspective,
when you look back, how did you do it all?
- I think you don't, in a given period of time.
And this idea that in a given day,
you're perfectly balanced and you have
exercise, and prayer time, and children time,
and spouse time, and work time,
and everyday has a perfect little template,
that's just a load of garbage.
People don't live their lives that way.
That's just crap, you know?
And so—
- I knew you were gonna say,
I was like I think he's gonna say crap.
(laughing)
- Well, it is, I mean, it is.
So what happens is,
in a given moment, you're training for something.
You know, you've got little kids,
you've got little kids.
- Mmhmm.
- It's all hands on deck.
And so the season has changed.
And when we were starting a business
and trying to survive,
even with you all little,
there was a season where that's what I did.
And it really wasn't optional.
I mean much like a military family,
where dad is you know, deployed,
or mom is deployed overseas.
They're gone, for eight months.
And what do you do?
You deal with it.
But it's not forever.
Like, when we got ready to go on a book tour
the first time, I was gone six weeks.
I mean, that's a long time.
- Yeah.
- With the little kids in the house.
And we told you guys,
this is what we're doing,
we're paying a price to win,
and when we get back from book tour,
we're going to Disney World.
So it's like, not here, but then all here and celebrate.
And so there's a rhythm to that,
the tide coming in, the tide going out.
And that's how you achieve balance
over the scope of your life,
not in a given month or year,
but if you go on for the whole scope
of your life as a workaholic, you lose your family.
- Right, right.
Well I think that's so good,
and Christy Wright, one of my favorite quotes
she says, I say it all the time,
is that life-balance is not about being 50/50,
it's about being 100% present.
- Exactly.
- And those some of my favorite memories with you,
because I think people ask me a lot like,
okay, well you had a dad that was gone a lot
and traveled all the time, how did you deal with that?
And I was like, I don't know, I think kids
are more resilient than we give them credit for,
and the times you were present, you were present.
And granted, that was before the days
of iPhones and all that,
but you really were,
you were present with us as kids,
and so I think that's huge.
And being at the important things, right?
- Yeah, we scheduled live events
around Daniel's hockey schedule,
when he was playing hockey as a kid,
or your games when you were cheerleading,
or proms, or birthdays, you know.
- (laughing) A middle school cheerleader, very exciting.
- I was at the game though.
- I know, it's just pitiful.
- She was a climber.
She got up on, she was a little one.
- I was a flyer.
- A flyer, that's right.
A climber and a flyer.
You have to climb before you fly.
- All of it, all of it.
So those are some of my favorite memories,
so I'm curious from you,
are there moments of parenting,
or maybe this could be a principle idea,
or a specific memory,
of a time that you were like,
yes, that was good.
Like I felt as a parent,
'cause I have those with Amelia now,
where, you know, she said "yes ma'am"
the other day, without me having to like,
say, "say yes ma'am."
She said it, and I was like, I won.
I won. It's the small victories.
- I think there's a bunch of them,
but they're all like you're talking about with Amelia,
they all fall under the category of,
you know, you're standing there
with your shoulders square at 13 years old,
and you actually walked through logically
a critical thought process,
and came to the correct conclusion.
And we're like,
"Huh, this one's not gonna live in the basement,
thank you Lord."
(laughing)
You know, it's like, this one's gonna make it.
You know, and there's those moments where you go,
"Wow, they just did that."
And that kind of a thing.
And you know, the other thing,
our friend Meg's gonna be on a bit later,
but I heard her say this the other day,
and I hadn't thought about it 'til she said it,
but it does work.
What you do with your kids expands in their minds.
I heard from a guy named Josh McDowell
back in the day, to date your daughters.
Take your little daughters out on dates.
Dress them up, and take them to a fancy restaurant.
And I did that like three times, ever,
and if you asked them,
they'd be like my dad took me out
on dates all the time.
- (laughing) I did say that.
- And I didn't, I didn't.
It was like three times, okay?
But I mean, I got credit for a lot more
than I actually did.
And the same thing was true,
you know, we talk about how to pay commissions,
on the chores, you know?
We would sit down on Sunday night,
and do the chores.
Well, we would go like six weeks,
without paying them.
- This is true.
- 'Cause we were just busy,
we forgot about it,
we were at church,
we're tired.
They're gripey, I don't wanna deal with them.
You know, whatever it is.
- But then it was like jackpot.
- But then we would do it,
and it's like in their minds,
every Sunday night was payday,
they got paid every Sunday night.
Well, they really didn't, okay?
We made up for it, we didn't steal the money from them.
- It's so true though, because I remember
writing "Smart Money Smart Kids" with you,
the book, and I was going through writing it,
and I was like, yeah, every Sunday night,
and then I was like, wait, did we every Sunday night?
Because in my mind, we really did,
and then as you were talking about it,
you were like, oh gosh, we skipped
like two months one time. Like, no, it was not,
we tried to be consistent,
but like, it wasn't, so yeah, that's so true.
Things are just magnified.
- But the principles were still there,
you're gonna work, you're gonna give,
you're gonna save, and you're gonna spend
but the payday on Sunday night thing,
and so it expands in a kid's mind,
when you do something right.
You get more credit than you deserve.
- Yes, okay, so I'm curious,
a time when you look back on your parenting,
you're like, ugh.
- Well, we found out later some of the stuff
you guys did in high school that we didn't know.
- Oh my gosh.
- And so apparently letting you go
to some of these parties with your friends we trusted
was a really bad idea.
(laughing)
We didn't know this at the time,
we thought they were nice little kids,
but what they were was like little Eddie Haskells
they were running around with.
- Who is Eddie Haskell?
- If you don't know who that is,
that's the guy who fakes it on "Leave It to Beaver,"
he's the kid who acts like he's,
he acts like he's,
"Oh yes, Mrs. Cleaver."
She had some of those running around,
but they were little party animals,
and misled my angel children.
(laughing)
Yeah right.
But anyway, so that, apparently we shouldn't
have let you go to some of those parties.
But you know, the one time I remember
was just funny and we'll throw your sister
under the bus.
One of the first times we ever left her,
your older sister, to babysit the other two.
And we thought she was ready.
She had actually babysat other people's kids,
so we thought, well, we're going out to eat,
I'm not paying anybody. Put this kid in charge.
We get a call from drama here,
about halfway through the meal,
and apparently the natives are restless,
back at the house,
there's been like a mutiny on the bounty,
there's been an uprising,
a revolution has occurred in the Ramsey household.
'Cause apparently my oldest daughter
decided not only was she in charge,
but they all had to do exactly,
to the penny, what she wanted them to do.
- And she took the wooden spoon out,
'cause she was gonna discipline us.
(laughing)
And I do remember that.
- Yeah, so we had to come home.
- We came out screaming.
We were like, Mom, Dad! Denise is crazy!
- Take the drill sergeant out of control
of the other drama children.
It was, it didn't work at all.
It was bad, it was bad.
- So true, that's so funny.
- Not ready for primetime.
- (laughing) That's a good one, that's so good.