The question is, how do you reignite the
spark
in a long-distance relationship? And this
is an
important question not just for those of
you who are
separated geographically but even those
of you who are living together.
My name is Paul Friedman. I founded The
Marriage Foundation.
Our videos are unique. Please subscribe
to this channel so you could learn about
marriage at a higher level because
that's what we need to talk about
now. Our
voice communication, our hearing
communication,
our written communication when we're in
a long
distance relationship
doesn't quite do it sometimes, does it?
We feel like the other person who may be
Skype-ing with us or speaking on the
iPhone or
what have you is distracted.
And we start to feel they are
withdrawing
and maybe so then we withdraw
too. I want to remind you
that a marriage is not
built in a material fashion.
It's built in a spiritual way
because the real relationship that we
want in marriage
which is to bring us happiness and
love, unconditional love. So we
need to have tools that will
help us reconnect and
re-establish that connection.
This is very metaphysical you might say
because love itself is metaphysical
or spiritual. There are
many many people in the psychological
world,
the western psychological world who
think of love
as abstract. They
ignore their own experience
of love which if you
recall it, it's very tangible
but it is not material.
You can't touch love. You can feel it.
You can't see love. You can feel it.
You can't hear it, taste it, smell it
but it's so tangible. It's overwhelmingly
real. How do you tap into that?
First, you need to recognize
that love is something that you
feel while you're giving it.
You can't really feel it when someone
else
loves you. It doesn't work that way.
It's kind of a secret little thing that
God has
put together to teach us how to connect
with each other
in a non-superficial way. So
when you are feeling love for someone
when you're using your mind, your
willpower
to push out the love in any form
whether material or through
visualization
that's when you feel the love. Do you
know where I'm going with this now?
I'm going to suggest that you actually
try
little meditation exercises where you
visualize your partner
here. This is known
believe it or not as the Christ
consciousness
center where you can communicate.
You use it as a microphone
and what you do is you visualize your
partner here
surrounded in light, blue light
and visualize
pushing the love from your heart to hear.
Maybe calling out their name with "I love
you"
"I love you," "I love you"
and just do it. Your eyes don't have to
be closed. They could be
half open but
realize that this love that's the spark
that you want.
You don't want to have necessarily, I
mean you can
have a phone sex or what have you
as long as it's very subordinate
to the love and this is how you build
the love,
and you do this even if you're together.
You should concentrate on the love in
your marriage.
The love in your relationship that's
the bridge, that's the connection, that's
why you call
yourselves soulmates because that's what
it's
all about and that will allow you to
build this friendship,
And I have this idea that I have
always utilized
which is build the foundation, build the
foundation,
and the rest will take care of itself.
And the foundation,
yeah, love. Now in the meantime,
be very considerate of one another.
Don't push, don't
ask, "Are you okay?" "Are we okay?" Don't do
that.
It lessens the love because it reduces
the connection down to, "How do you feel?"
"How do I feel?" "What's going on?" "Do you
still love me?" "Do you still
care?" "What did you do today? Did you think
of me?"
All of that stuff distracts.
So the ultimate consideration you can
give
your lover is what I just described.
You try it and then you'll see that your
conversations
that you have at whatever interval that
you have
will be much lighter because it will
change you.
They will pick up on that and they will
respond to that.
The last thing again that you should do
is confront them about
this and say, "What's going on?" Don't do any of
that.
You've got to build the love, build the
love
even if you don't feel it's being
reciprocated.
Love them because you love them
not because they're going to give
anything back.
I hope this helps you. Go to our website.
See what we have to offer that's
themarriagefoundation.org.
And definitely, subscribe to this
channel.
Thank you for spending time with me! God
bless you
and take care! I'm Paul Friedman. I
founded The Marriage Foundation
for you. God bless! Take care!