Sadhguru: Some people go for conquest with swords and guns,
some people go with checkbooks and cash.
On the emotional level if you try this, we call this a love affair.
Love is not a relationship, a relationship is a different thing.
If you are willing, you can become love,
you can make your emotion into a very sweet space.
Juhi: Some teachers, some gurus, some guides will say,
you know, "You can love, but you must be detached..."
Sadhguru: Ohoho... [Laughs]
Juhi: "...you must love, but it cannot be conditional, it should be unconditional."
So, there's versions of it. I just want to know...
Sadhguru: A simple way of... make you keep coming back to me is,
to give you something that you cannot do,
to give you a teaching which you can never do.
"You must love, but you must be detached."
Now you have to keep coming back to me for consultation, endlessly. [Laughter]
I'm saying, throw yourself into your love affair, and die into it.
Something will happen.
Something worthwhile will happen if you are willing to die into the process;
not just anything – whether it's your work, or your life, or your love, or whatever –
if you do not know how to throw your entire self into it,
you will never know the taste of what it is!
"Love, but be detached." Why do you want to love then? [Laughter]
Only because you want to include somebody as a part of your life, part of yourself,
that's why you love. "No, I love, but... I'm detached."
This means you have to come back to consultation every day.
It's like a psychiatrist's job – every day you have to come and sit on the couch.
You need treatment, and there is a fee. [Laughs]
Juhi: So... okay, all right, so you can love and be attached...
Sadhguru: No, I didn't say that. [Laughter/Applause]
Juhi: Okay, I'm coming back for consultation, please. [Laughter]
So, what did you say? [Laughter]
Sadhguru: I only said... see, what is this need for love in a human being?
You must understand, a human being constantly, constantly,
a human being is longing to be something more than what they are right now.
If this finds a simple, basic physical expression, we call this sexuality.
Sexuality means just this:
physically you're trying to make something which is not you, a part of yourself.
For a few moments you may succeed.
If you try this mentally, it gets labeled as greed, conquest,
or maybe simply shopping.
Some people go for conquest with swords and guns, some people go with checkbooks,
and cash, you know, credit cards.
The thing is you want to include something which is not a part of you as yourself,
that is the whole effort.
Whether you want money, or wealth, or you want to occupy a nation – what is it?
Something that is not you, you want to make it yours.
Yours is an effort to make it a part of yourself.
If it happens emotionally, on the emotional level if you try this,
we call this a love affair.
You are trying to make somebody who is not a part of you,
a part of yourself emotionally – this is a love affair.
If you do it consciously, we call this yoga – yoga means union.
So, all these efforts are fine, everything has its own beauty,
but has its own limitations.
When you understand the limitations of all the other methods,
nothing right or wrong about it, it is just that it will work briefly,
it will not work for always.
When you realize that, you consciously try to include.
When you consciously become an inclusive process, if you sit here,
if you experience everything as yourself then we say you are a yogi, okay?
So, this is a love affair, successful.
Juhi: You said love, inclusiveness...
I can't understand how I can love everybody in this room.
Sadhguru: You cannot. There are some people you cannot love.
Juhi: I can barely see up there, and up there. [Laughter]
So, how do you include everybody in your love?
Sadhguru: See, because you're looking at love as something that comes to you,
or you yield to the process of love
only because you appreciate a particular quality,
a shape of somebody's nose, or the shape of their mind, or their thought,
or their emotion, or the way they speak, or the way they do things,
or the way they relate to you, something, okay? There are many, many things.
It is based on something that is acceptable to you.
If they do something that is not acceptable to you, love crumbles.
Juhi: Yes. [Laughs]
Sadhguru: Now what I'm saying is, I want you to look at this,
whether love happens to you, or hate happens to you, anger happens to you,
misery happens to you, joy happens to you...
it only happens within you, isn't it?
Juhi: Yes. Sadhguru: It never...
people say love is in the air. No.
Because you are feeling very pleasant in your emotions, suddenly air feels vibrant.
It's always been, you missed it all your life, now you're beginning to feel it.
Juhi: Okay, okay.
Sadhguru: All right? So, whatever human experience,
– love or hate, whatever, whatever – happens only within you.
What I'm saying is, at least what happens within you, must happen by your choice.
Consciously you must be able to make it happen.
If you are able to...
if your experience of what is happening within you is happening by choice,
what is the problem? It only happens within you.
Love is not a relationship, a relationship is a different thing.
Love is a certain sweetness of your emotion.
Whether you look at a tree, or a dog, or a man, or a woman, or a child,
or just at the sky, why can't you look at it lovingly?
Because it's not about loving the sky, it's about the sweetness of your emotion.
If your emotions are sweet, whatever you look at, you'll look at it in a certain way.
Right now you have nasty emotions, whatever you look at, you look at it in a different way.
So, you have always associated love with somebody.
No, no, no, this is not about somebody.
Love is not something that you do, it is something that you can become.
If you are willing, you can become love,
you can make your emotion into a very sweet space.
If you make your body very pleasant, it becomes pleasure.
If you sit here, it can be great pleasure just sitting here and breathing.
This is what we are teaching people, if you sit...
I will show you millions of people, if they close their eyes,
tears of ecstasy will just drip. Nothing – simply close your eyes.
Ecstatic they are, bursting – every cell in their body –
because body has become so pleasant.
If your mind becomes pleasant, we say this is joy.
If your emotions become pleasant, we say this is love.
If your very life energies become pleasant,
we say this is blissfulness, this is ecstasy.
If your surroundings become pleasant, we call that success.
Now you're calling your success with somebody as love – that's a mistake.
You have a success story with somebody.
That is, you have created pleasantness in the atmosphere
between you and, let's say, 5 to 10 people around you. You're calling that love.
No, that is actually success, because that needs lots of management.
Juhi: Yes, it does. Sadhguru: Yes, or no? [Laughs]
Juhi: Yes, it does. Sadhguru: Yes.
But for you to be loving, there is no management.
If you just make your emotions sweet,
your emotions are sweet and it's beautiful – be like this.
It's not about anybody. If somebody comes, we can share it.
If nobody comes, you can sit here with eyes closed and still be loving.
What's the problem? It is not about somebody, it's not an action.
It is not something that you do, it is something that you can become.
[Applause]
Juhi: It's a lovely, idyllic...
Sadhguru: It is not idyllic, it is the way it is. [Laughs]
Juhi: I mean, you would really have to practice this.
Sadhguru: Why? Juhi: Because I'm thinking...
Sadhguru: See, this is what exactly I'm saying: if it is an action,
an action comes to perfection with practice – only if it's an action.
I'm saying, love is not an act.
Is health an act? Are you acting healthy right now?
Juhi: No.
Sadhguru: I know you're an actor, but are you acting healthy? [Laughter]
Juhi: No. [Laughs]
Sadhguru: So, health is because we have done certain things and health is, isn't it?
Juhi: Oh, we've not done certain things...
Sadhguru: Oh, we have definite... Juhi: ...we've been given...
Sadhguru: No, no, no, no. Oh, we've been given, but if you eat bad,
if you live bad, you won't be healthy.
We've done certain things to manage our health.
Similarly, if you do certain things, you can manage the pleasantness of your mind.
If you do certain other things, you can manage the pleasantness of your emotion.
If you do certain other things,
you can manage the pleasantness of your very life energies.
This is things that you can do.
Now, what you can do internally, you're trying to manage externally.
What can be done here within you,
you are trying to manage by creating an atmosphere around you,
which is a very difficult thing to do,
because outside will never happen 100% the way you want it.
To some extent we can manage,
we can't do all of it by ourselves, because there are many forces involved.