SAYING,
SAYING, HEY, WE FEEL YOUR PAIN ON THE WHOLE DEAL, RIGHT?
BILLY IS BACK WITH US, AND SO
AS I MENTIONED EARLIER, I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU GOT TO
WHERE YOU ARE TODAY.
LET'S BACK UP TO PITTSBURGH.
YOU WERE IN A FAMILY THAT WAS A
GROUP OF CHARACTERS AS WELL,
HAD A LOT OF PERSONALITY.
>> THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT IT,
INSANE IS THE OTHER.
I COME FROM WORKING CLASS
FOLKS.
FOLKS.
FOLKS. THERE WAS NAVY GUYS AND STEEL
MILL GUYS AND RAILROAD GUYS ALL
THROUGH MY FAMILY, WHICH, YOU
KNOW, MY FATHER, BEFORE HE
PASSED AWAY, USED TO MAKE IT
HIS GREAT RESPONSIBILITY TO
MAKE SURE I DIDN'T DEVELOP AN
EGO.
EGO.
EGO. I
EGO. I WOULD BE DOWN VISITING HIM IN
FLORIDA LIKE AT THE HEIGHT OF
MIKE AND MOLLY AND HE WOULD SAY
BILL, TAKE THE TRASH OUT.
IT'S MY DAD SO, OF COURSE I'M
GOING TO DO THAT BUT I WOULD
GET HALFWAY TO THE SIDEWALK AND
HE WOULD SAY, JOHN, LOOK AT THE
BIG TV STAR TAKING OUT MY
TRASH.
TRASH.
TRASH. >>
TRASH. >> HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ELVIS?
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. HE WAS AND I GOT TO PLAY
COLONEL TOM PARKER ELVIS'
MANAGER ON A SERIES WE DID.
I WAS ABLE TO TAKE HIM TO
GRACELAND.
GRACELAND. WHEN I GOT SUCCESSFUL, ALL THE
PARENTS, MY WIFE AND I SAID,
LET'S GIVE THEM A BUCKET LIST,
ANYWHERE THEY WANT TO GO.
S SOME OF THE PARENTS WANTED
TO GO TO HAWAII, OTHERS WANTED
TO GO TO NEW YORK CITY.
MY DAD WANTED TO GO TO
GRACELAND.
GRACELAND. >> THERE YOU GO.
>> I LOVED HIM FOR THAT, HE WAS
THE CHEAPEST DATE.
SO THAT WAS GOOD.
>> YOU CAN BE FUNNY BUT TO MAKE
IT A CAREER IS A WHOLE NOTHER
THING.
THING.
THING. WHEN DID THAT FIRST ENTER YOUR
HEAD YOU COULD DO COMEDY?
>> I WANTED TO BE A COMIC SINCE
I WAS 9 YEARS OLD AND MY DAD
WAS INFLUENCE.
WAS INFLUENCE. HE WAS GREAT AT MAKING A HEAVY
SITUATION LIGHT AND FUNNY AND I
FIGURED THAT'S A QUICK WAY TO
GET THROUGH LIFE.
THAT'S NOT BAD.
PLUS IT KEEPS YOU FROM TAKING
YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.
AND THEN I THOUGHT, MAN, IF I
COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE
MONEY AT THAT, HOW GREAT WOULD
THAT BE?
THAT BE?
THAT BE? >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. BUT ALSO EVERY CONVERSATION A
MOMENT OF DO THEY HAVE THE
CONFIDENCE TO DO IT OR NOT.
YOU USED TO ENTERTAIN YOUR
COWORKERS, RIGHT?
COWORKERS, RIGHT? >> YEAH, WELL, I GOT ON STAGE
BECAUSE OF A BET WITH THOSE
GUYS.
GUYS.
GUYS. I
GUYS. I WAS 17, I WAS WORKING AT A
WAREHOUSE AND I WOULD TELL THE
GUYS ON THE LINE, I'M GOING TO
BE COMIC, THEY GO, SHUT UP.
AND I GO, NO, I'M GOING TO BE A
COMIC.
COMIC.
COMIC. ONE DAY THEY BET ME, WE WILL
BET YOU $50 EACH YOU WON'T DO
IT AND YOU'RE 17, YOU'RE
RUNNING YOUR MOUTH SO I HAD TO
DO IT BECAUSE MY LITTLE
PAYCHECK WOULDN'T COVER THE BET
IF I DIDN'T DO IT.
SO I KIND OF OWE THOSE GUYS.
>> YEAH, AND NOT HAVING THE
CONFIDENCE TO DO IT, THERE'S A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAKING A
LIVING AT IT.
AND FOR A WHILE YOU DID ALL
KINDS OF THINGS AND JUST WHEN
YOU WERE ABOUT TO GIVE UP, WHAT
HAPPENED?
HAPPENED?
HAPPENED? >> WELL, THAT'S TWO STORIES
SKEWED.
SKEWED.
SKEWED. I
SKEWED. I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A COMIC
AND I GOT ON THE ROAD QUICKLY
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A COMIC AND I GOT ON THE ROAD QUICKLYúB
10 YEARS OUT ON THE ROAD AND
THEN A SHORT 12-YEAR STINT IN
L.A.
L.A.
L.A. AND
L.A. AND 26 YEARS LATER I'M AN
OVERNIGHT SUCCESS.
OVERNIGHT SUCCESS. BUT WHAT HAPPENED WAS I HAD
KIND OF COME TO THE END OF MY
ROAD IN LOS ANGELES AND I HAD
-- YOU KNOW, I HAD A 3-YEAR-OLD
SON AND MY WIFE AND I WERE
STRUGGLING MONEY WISE AND I
JUST THOUGHT I'M GOING TO GO
BACK TO PITTSBURGH AND GET ON
THE RADIO WITH A FRIEND OF
MINE, WHICH THROUGH MORNING
LIFESTYLE AND HAVE A NICE
LIFESTYLE IN PITTSBURGH.
I WOULD STAY FOR ONE MORE PILOT
SEASON AND I GOT SIX AUDITIONS
IN THE THREE MONTHS AND THE
LAST ONE WAS "MIKE AND MOLLY,"
A HAIL MARY IN THE END ZONE.
>> SOME PEOPLE GIVE UP ON DOING
IT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT GETTING
THE END GOAL YET BUT IT IS THE
ROAD THERE THAT'S THE VALUE.
>> THERE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF
MINE WHOSE A COMEDIAN NAMED
EARTHQUAKE AND WE GO BACK
SEVERAL YEARS AND OUR JOKE
ABOUT LOS ANGELES WAS, YOU JUST
GOT TO STAY IN THE CASINO.
YOU GOT TO STAY IN THE CASINO
LONG ENOUGH FOR IT TO HIT.
THAT'S THE DEAL.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. >> BUT -- BUT THERE ARE TIMES
WHEN LIFE WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO,
THIS AIN'T GOING TO WORK, I GOT
TO CUT AND RUN.
I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO STAY JUST
LONG ENOUGH.
LONG ENOUGH. TALENT KEEPS YOU THERE ONCE YOU
GET THERE BUT THE BREAK ITSELF,
THERE'S LUCK INVOLVED.
I MEAN, THERE'S A LOT OF GUYS
THAT ARE FUNNIER THAN I AM AND
MORE TALENTED, AND YOU HAVE TO
BE IN THAT RIGHT PLACE AT THE
RIGHT TIME.
RIGHT TIME. YOU HAVE TO BE DOING IT LONG
ENOUGH TO HOPEFULLY HAVE THAT
HAPPEN.
HAPPEN.
HAPPEN. >> YEAH, YEAH.
SO THE OTHER THING THAT IT DID
IS WE LOVE THE CHARACTERS OF
MIKE AND MOLLY AND I THINK
OFTENTIMES WE LOOK AT THE
CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T THE
STEREOTYPE THAT WE CONNECT TO.
I KNOW WHENEVER I LAND IN L.A.,
I EXPECT TO SEE RICHARD SIMMONS
DOING AN INTERVENTION ON ME
BECAUSE I AM HUGE IN L.A.
IN L.A., THOUGH, I AM HUGE.
RICHARD SIMMONS SAYS, I GET IT,
GET A CRANE, GET HER OFF THE
PLANE, RIGHT.
PLANE, RIGHT. >> YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME THAT,
ARE YOU?
ARE YOU?
ARE YOU? I WALK AROUND LIKE A PIECE OF
FURNITURE THEY CAN'T GET RID OF
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. >>
THAT. >> THAT'S PART OF THE REASON
WHY WE LOVE THESE CHARACTERS
WHO ARE KIND OF A SLICE OF
NORMAL LIFE, IF YOU WILL.
>> I THINK EVERYBODY HAS THEIR
THINGS.
THINGS.
THINGS. LOOK, I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH MY
WEIGHT MY WHOLE LIFE AND I'M
TRYING TO WORK ON THAT AND IT'S
A BATTLE.
A BATTLE.
A BATTLE. AND I LOVE WHEN SKINNY PEOPLE
TELL YOU JUST WALK AND EAT SOME
FISH.
FISH.
FISH. IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
>> SEVERAL SMALL MEALS A DAY.
>> EVERYBODY HAS A LITTLE THING
THAT THEY HAVE TO WORK ON TO
GET BETTER.
GET BETTER. THAT'S THE JOURNEY IN LIFE, IS
GETTING BETTER.
GETTING BETTER. >> DID YOU HEAR FROM A LOT OF
FANS ABOUT THAT WHEN YOU WERE
DOING THE SHOW?
>> A LOT OF FANS LOVED US
BECAUSE IN HOLLYWOOD MOST GROWN
MEN ARE 85 POUNDS AND WEAR A
MEDIUM T-SHIRT.
MEDIUM T-SHIRT. SO THE MIDWEST I THINK AND THE
SOUTH WAS -- THEY WERE LIKE,
HEY, YOU KNOW, I HAVE AN UNCLE
THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU OR I LOOK
LIKE YOU OR I KNOW THE GUY DOWN
THE STREET THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
SO THAT WAS A NICE FEELING TO
HAVE THAT REPRESENTED ON TV.
BUT I'M ALSO NOT A GUY THAT
BELIEVES IN THIS, I JUST HAVE
TO LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM.
THAT'S CRAP.
THAT'S CRAP. LOOK, YOU HAVE TO BE GENTLE
WITH YOURSELF BUT YOU ALSO HAVE
TO BE REAL AND LOOK IN THE
MIRROR AND SAY I GOT TO PULL IT
TOGETHER, MAN.
TOGETHER, MAN. THAT'S WHAT I'M WORKING ON.
>> IT'S ALL ABOUT WHAT ARE YOU
OKAY WITH?
OKAY WITH? >> AND YOUR HEALTH.
MY NUMBERS, I'M LUCKY, MY
NUMBERS ARE ALL GOOD.
BUT I WANT TO LOSE SOME MORE
WEIGHT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO
BE RIDING AROUND ON ONE OF
THOSE IN ANOTHER 10 YEARS.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
>> HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR WIFE?
>> IN A GREAT WAY.
I SAW HER THREE TIMES IN ONE
DAY, A BANK IN ATLANTA, AND
THEN PERFORMING AT A COMEDY
CLUB IN ATLANTA, SHE WAS AT THE
SHOW WITH HER SISTER.
AND THEN I WENT TO A JAZZ CLUB
BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THE LAST
THREE JAZZ FANS ON EARTH AND
SHE WAS THERE AND I FIGURED
THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY, YOU GOT
TO TAKE A SHOT, RIGHT?
I SAW WHAT SHE WAS DRINKING, I
ORDERED ONE, TOOK IT OVER TO
HER TABLE AND I SAID, DRINK
THIS UNTIL I'M CUTE.
>> AND WHAT DID SHE SAY?
>> SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID
I'M GOING TO NEED ANOTHER ONE.
>> HOW IMPORTANT IS THAT SENSE
OF HUMOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
>> IT'S REALLY BIG.
IT TAKES A SPECIAL WOMAN TO PUT
UP WITH A PERFORMER ON THE
ROAD.
ROAD.
ROAD. LUCKILY I DON'T HAVE TO BE ON
THE ROAD AS MUCH ANYMORE BUT
SHE HAS BEEN AMAZING.
SHE IS BULLETPROOF.
SHE HAS BEEN WITH ME THE WHOLE
RIDE, BEEN WITH ME A LONG TIME
AND I WOULD NOT BE THE MAN I AM
WITHOUT HER, WITHOUT QUESTION.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> THANK YOU.
COME DOWN AND SEE ME AT JOINT
COMEDY SHOWCASE.COM, YOU CAN
LOOK FOR TICKETS 1:00 TONIGHT,
2:00 TOMORROW.
2:00 TOMORROW. >> TONIGHT AT 8:00 AND THEN
TOMORROW NIGHT AT 7:00 AND 9:30
P.M.
P.M.
P.M. TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE
AND FOR MORE INFORMATION LOG
ONTO GREATDAYHOUSTON.COM AND WE
WILL CONNECT YOU WITH -- LOTS
OF GREAT TALENT COMING IN.
>> SELECT MEMBERS OF OUR LIVE
STUDIO AUDIENCE GET TO SEE THE
SHOW FOR FREE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS. WE WILL GET YOU YOUR TICKETS.
[ APPLAUSE ]
>>> WHEN WE COME BACK, HAVE A
DRINK IN THE BEER GARDEN, UP
NEXT WHERE THE COMMUNITY CAN
CELEBRATE GERMAN HERITAGE.