Tonight was so epic!
That' s one word for it, I suppose.
Lighten up, Mom.
Don't call me that.
Whoa, Portia. What' cha doin' ?
Selfies!
I have found the absolute best filter
to represent tonight and our new friendship.
It' s called Dance Beat!
Okay, just wait, because this is a--
Oh, I'm sorry. Gosh.
Dorthy, did you-- Did you want to be in them?
Say "Besties!"
What I meant was that you're not taking selfies.
You are livecasting to the internet.
You're doing magic on the internet?
What sort of encryption software are you using?
Uh, I don't.
Oh.
This can' t be safe.
Oh, it' s fine. They' re just my friends.
From high school?
From everywhere.
We' ve known each other online for years.
Dorothy, that's creepy.
What if they' re catfishing you?
You need to edit Portia, Ariana and I
out right now.
Uh, I can't, because it' s live.
Fantastic.
Then let' s just--
So, we had a talk.
Actually more like an intense two hour moral discussion
about the validity of online friendships.
It was like watching a third grader teach kindergarten
to orangutans.
I thought it was very enlightening.
I'm still not 100% comfortable,
but Dorothy says that none of you are con artists,
and I guess I believe her.
Hey. Play nice.
Okay, now that that's out of the way,
I think we should do formal introuctions.
Dorothy.
Oh, hey, Connie.
Did we keep you up?
No, it' s fine.
Connie!
Hey, mini-Anne.
You live here?
Yeah. It' s nice to see you.
Dorothy, why are you hanging out
with three Mu Sigma Theta sisters?
Oh, see, we actually all met
at the Camellia!
Oh, really?
Yeah. Hey, how come you don't come out
with us and Anne anymore since you moved?
It' s been forever! Well, since I'm rush--
Anyway, it was so much fun.
And we met Dorothy
and then there was this big misunderstanding--
Less "misunderstanding" and more Hothead over here
managing to piss off everyone she ran into.
Hey. That was an accident, mostly, okay?
But guess whe was there?
Who?
Douchecanoe! Ah.
You know, his parents must
have really hated him to name him that.
Oh, honey.
It was really nice to see you guys.
I'm going to go to bed.
Bye. Night, Connie.
What' s a Dornie?
Nothing.
Anyway, back to the story of our epic battle!
Oh, better yet,
why don't you go over to my Instagram feed
and check out all the pictures from last night.
Click here now to be taken there.
Except that this is live and I can't do that.
So I know why we hate the union,
but what did they do to piss you off?
I mean, other than existing.
Oh, it' s just Douchecanoe.
He' s my mortal enemy.
You have a mortal enemy?
You're 19. Is your life a soap opera?
Oh, trust me. He' s earned it.
Yeah, I kicked his ass.
You beat him in an arm-wrestling match.
Which was not smart,
because it just made them angry.
They were closing in,
but I wasn' t going to go down without a fight.
So I grabbed a glass from a nearby table,
and I splashed it in his punchable face.
That was actually pretty funny.
But my back was against a wall. No hope of escape.
Oh! And then we came in and saved the day!
I'd hardly call a food fight "saving the day."
More like a mess.
We' re going to get an earful from Jeanne when she finds out.
You mean "Ms Treville."
Oh, that sounds like fun.
Wait, you know Treville?
Yeah. She's my Rho Chi.
You're rushing?
Yeah.
Um, my dream is to be in Mu Sigma Theta,
just like you guys.
We have to go.
Wait, what?
Sorry, Mom' s orders.
Can't we just stay?
If I' d known she was rushing,
we wouldn't even be in this mess.
What is going on?
We' re not allowed to talk to PNMs
outside of recruitment.
We can hang out again once rush is over,
but right now we have to go.
Bye, Dorothy.
We really hope to see more of you soon!
That was a whirlwind.