(cheerful festive music)
- We should stop.
- What?
- The hitch hiker, she's a woman, she's on her own.
What if some weirdo picks her up?
- Yeah, okay.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
(calming music)
(door knocking)
- Hey.
- Ah, weren't you supposed to be at Pillsbury Doughboy?
- No, I'm making cupcakes for Kitty's bake sale.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
(car horn honking) (birds chirping)
- Oh my god.
Jesus.
- Do you like it?
- Sometimes you can choose to not be a dick.
Yes, thank you.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Hi, Margo, how's college?
So listen, did I mention that I have a fake boyfriend?
No?
Yeah, it's Peter Kavinsky.
How did it start?
It was, see, that's a funny story
because it definitely was not because
I was trying to convince your ex-boyfriend
that I wasn't in love with him, that's for sure.
Oh, shit.
(people groaning)
(computer beeping)
Hi. - Hi.
- We should do the washing up.
(people groaning)
(upbeat music)
♪ Innocent love ♪
♪ I need somewhere ♪
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
♪ Please don't put me ♪
- You should smile more.
- What?
- Well, it might never happen.
- It has happened actually, so fuck off.
Can you shut your legs please. - Yeah.
♪ I can't stay in my ♪
- Thanks.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
(dramatic music)
- Oh my god.
- [Man] Oh, oh, okay.
- Hey!
Stop that!
Two more laps for you, Covey.
- Thank you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Some blueberry pancakes. - Mm-hmm.
- And a hot chocolate with cream.
- (laughing) Your hungry (laughing)
- And a extra fuckin' spoon.
- Excuse me?
- To who?
- Okay, sorry, you can't use language like that
otherwise I'm gonna have to ask you
and your boyfriend to leave.
- Okay.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
(sighing)
I will have a great big banana shit
with extra fuckin' cherries
all in top--
- Okay, sorry, that's it, right?
- Really?
- Course.
(playful music)
(car engine roaring)
- [Peter] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(scoffs)
- Good thing I'm wearing my helmet. (laughing)
(window thumping)
- Hi. - Hi.
- How ya doin'? - Good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Ah, you know, people usually check behind them
before they reverse, you know, to avoid killing others,
it's a thing we do.
- Yeah, ah, well, I'm just not completely comfortable
with using my mirrors yet, so--
- Yeah, clearly. - You should just
go, seriously. (people groaning)
- Sure, whatever you say, Covey.
- I heard what you said.
At the car pound.
- Okay.
- [Alyssa] I feel the same.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I-- - But I need a lot of time.
- Okay.
(solemn guitar music) - Ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Dear Peter, I need you to know that.
I need you to know that I like you, Peter Kavinsky.
And not in a fake way.
And so, I guess that's all I came here to say.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Do you want a scone?
- Okay.
- Sit down, I'll bring it over.
- Can I have a glass of water? - Yeah.
- Do you have ice?
- No.
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho.
- But we're still cool, right?
We can still talk and,
you know, kick it?
- Ooh, don't say kick it.
Yes, we are cool.
- Good.
- Do you want a carrot?
- Yeah. - Ho, ho, ho, ho.
(cheerful festive music)