Hey everyone, welcome
to me trying to make videos in quarantine.
[Fiona off-screen] - Alright, goblins!
[Sighs]
She's back!
Fiona's here too, off screen again.
- What's good?
Ready with her goblins.
- Ready *for* the goblins.
Ready for the goblins.
They're the goblins.
Hmm, okay.
- That's why we say, "Alright, goblins."
That's why we say? Hm?
-That's why *we* say.
*We* say? Okay.
- Weeeee, say. We say.
Are you French?
- The hysteria has like hit me all of a sudden,
like the quarantine like, woo!
The not leaving a room for like...
what are we on, day 11? 12?
- Day 11 or -- time? What's time?
An illusion, honestly.
Yeah today we're going to try to make a quarantine video
with the limited space and light that we have.
I'm gonna try to up this in post to make it a little brighter,
I'm a little,
little gloomy in the corner here.
- You're a gloomy gal.
Gloomy gal.
But I basically just wanted to talk
about our four-year anniversary
because we just had it in quarantine.
- Which we must admit is so much better
than the beautiful villa in Bali
that we had booked and getting couples massages,
and doing a couples massage.
We had great plans.
- Why do that,
when you can sleep in till 1 pm in quarantine.
And then just play Animal Crossing all day.
Yeah! [Laughter]
Where do you go from there? Honestly?
- Nowhere.
Not outdoors.
That's for sure.
[Laughter]
I mean the thing is...
[laughter] I'm proud of us because...
- Okay, why?
It's a--
it's a not ideal situation,
and I felt like we had a good time.
Like we're surviving.
We're keeping each other entertained during quarantine.
- That's true.
We had, I think, a nice anniversary.
- Riley, we did nothing.
It was nice!
- We had a nice day, but I wouldn't be like,
"it's a nice anniversary."
I mean, it was a nice anniversary within the context
of we could not leave, you know?
Like there's only so much you can do.
- Also we were both like too emotionally exhausted
to like do anything of effort.
I want to talk about all of that stuff,
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Anyways, let's get back to the video.
- Let's get back to me.
Back to you baby?
- Attention.
Attention please.
The attention all on you?
[laughter off-screen]
So originally what was our plan for the anniversary?
- Our original plan is:
I organized all this by the way,
wife of the century.
Wife of the century.
- Wife of the next century because we're not married yet.
But still.
Still wife of the century.
Girlfriend of the century.
[Both simulatentously] Fiancée!
[laughter]
- We booked this beautiful little bamboo hut in Ubud, in Bali.
We were gonna have massages.
Yeah?
- We were gonna go for a walk
to a waterfall that was near our little bamboo hut.
We were going to probably do a cooking class.
And they did breakfast at our little bamboo hut.
And we were gonna spend like four days there
and it was gonna be so cute.
And then we were going to go to an Airbnb
in Bali and we were going to spend a lot of time there,
and we got free breakfast there every day.
Remember that?
I remember, yeah.
- Overlooking a rice paddy.
Yes, you've never heard a woman roll her R's before?
You are, losing it.
- I lost it like on day two.
That's fair.
- Anyway.
So instead we're here back in Australia in quarantine,
and our day was a little bit more chill.
- Oh, am I meant to fill in?
No, I got this part.
- You got it? Okay. Take it away, babe.
Alright. We woke up... noon?
- Wow. Killer start. [Laughter]
We woke up?
We woke up. That's the start of our anniversary --
four year anniversary, where we woke up.
- We woke up.
We woke up. Did we not wake up?
- We woke up. You got me there.
We woke up.
Fiona made some delicious chocolate chip pancakes
and blueberry pancakes.
- Mhmm.
I was gonna say chocolate and blueberry,
but then they would think they were the same pancake,
and that would be odd.
- And we are not animals.
We're not monsters.
Yeah, had some delicious pancakes.
I want to say
we just played Animal Crossing for the rest of the day.
- I feel like we did something.
We did something, yeah.
- I feel like... ya know?
Yeah, what'd we do?
Everything just kind of blurs together into one like...
[makes a "shrwrlw"-sounding noise], when you're just
in the same space all the time.
- Well, it's doing that since all this shit started.
Mmm.
So yeah, something happened in the afternoon?
Riveting anniversary shenanigans with Riley and Fiona.
Yeah. Uh huh.
And then I made us dinner.
And that's-- -
What'd you make for dinner, babe?
Tell the people.
You don't remember??
No, okay. So we had nice vegan ravioli,
and I wanted to try and make it fancy-ish
to the extent that I could.
Cause ravioli's really easy to make you just pop it in a pot.
Yeah, so I like tried to make a sauce with like passata
and some like herbs and spices and stuff.
- It's "herbs" now, babe. Yeah.
I just-- I'm mad because when I was little,
I would say "herbs"
because it has an "h"
and then I was told that I was pronouncing it wrong,
and I had to say "erbs"
and so I changed,
and now I'm in Australia where people say "herbs" again,
and it's like, little Riley was right.
She was right the whole time.
She knew.
[Laughter] So made some fancy--
didn't make the ravioli-- boiled some fancy vegan ravioli.
[Laughing] - Boiled some ravioli.
Made some fancy sauce,
plus green beans, plus vegan sausages,
and I think it turned out pretty dang good.
- It was pretty tasty.
Yeah!
- It was-- it was delicious.
Nice.
- You know what we can do as a fun game?
Did we do anything else that night?
Did we make our banana bread that night? I feel like we must've.
Did we? We probably made some banana bread.
We've got this little recipe for like banana bread
that just goes in the microwave.
It's delicious.
- I could go for some of that right now.
Same.
- Let's do it after you film.
Okay. I don't-- what else?
I feel like we just watched Grace and Frankie.
- I've got a fun game for you.
Alright, internet, this is the game of--
Oh no. Oh no.
- What have we done for any of our other anniverseries?
Nooo! Noo!
- This is my favorite part of our anniversary.
My favorite part is: I asked Riley, I was like,
"what are your favorite things that we've done in
like the last year of our relationship?
Like four years,
let's just reflect on the last year that's happened.
And she just lists three things,
and I'm sit-- like she lists two really quickly,
and I'm sat there being like,
"she hasn't listed that I proposed yet,
but surely she'll remember for the third one."
Look, I think the last year for me is like March
and maybe February.
How was I supposed to know
that we got engaged in the last year?
That was like six years ago.
I know we've only been in a relationship for four years,
but we got engaged at least six years ago.
- And so then, I just wait for her to decide,
and then she settles really happily on her third item,
and I'm like, "okay".
I just play it cool and I'm like, "Mm, yeah. What are mine?
Um, I think, mine would be that we got engaged.
That's up there for me personally, but..."
You're so annoying.
[Laughter]
Yes, we got engaged in the last year.
It's great.
I'm very happy for us.
I knew that it happened.
- Wow, you sound it!
[Laughter] You know I have a bad memory.
Why would you quiz me on my bad memory?
Okay, yeah, so what did we do for last year's anniversary?
We were in New Zealand!
Yeah, what did we do?
Ooooohhh.
You didn't say there was gonna be follow-up questions.
- I asked the whole time, "What did we do?"
I didn't say, "Which country?
We went to New Zealand. That's what we did.
- We didn't go to New Zealand on that day.
What? What did we do?
We were in New Zealand.
We were New Zealanding.
- I'll give you a hint.
Umm, harness.
...Did we use a harness in bed?
- Riley, no!
[Laughter] Trees.
We fucked a tree?
- Riley!
[Laughter] Oh, we did--
we did, um,
like a roof top canopy tour where we went
like ziplining and shit.
That was cool.
- Yeah, and we had to wear harnesses for it.
Yeah, I suppose.
I guess it's tangentially related.
- We were like flying through--
I was just hanging on to the zipline.
- Riley's like, "I don't need no harness!"
Exactly because I'm so tough and brave.
- And what did we do...
[clapping like a drumroll] the year before that?
Nooo. See, that's too far back. Nuh uh.
- Nah, come on, you got this.
When did this become a quiz?
- You got this!
Two-year anniversary, what did we do?
Two-year anniversary...
Loved each other, deeply.
- We did do that.
That we did.
What else did we do, babe?
You had moved to Australia before me.
- Yeah!
So we did something over a video call.
- Mhm. That's pretty good.
Ta-da!
- Did you get me anything?
Yeah!
- What'd you get me?
Don't know. [Laughter]
- Did I get you anything?
I'm sure you did.
Your language is gift-giving.
- You got me rainbow roses.
Ah good for me.
That's a good one.
Yeah, well done me of the past.
- And what did we do the year before?
Our one-year anniversary.
One whole year-a-roon.
I want to say...
We video-called and like had a sushi dinner?
- Nope.
Mmkay.
Anything?
This is so fun.
No it's not!
- Umm, your clue is: hunt.
Hunt? I have no idea.
- Okay, truthfully.
I don't remember which one was the anniversary one--
Ha, you don't remember either!
- No, I know it was either that we were in Belgium,
which I'm pretty sure it was.
Oh, we were together?
We weren't like, it was in a long-distance thing
where we were visiting each other.
Yeah, you visited for our one-year anniversary.
Nice.
- So I can't remember if it was--
yeah, no, it was Belgium.
We went to Belgium for three days.
Nice, cool.
I think that's enough of the anniversary quizzes.
- That's fair.
We went and we went to a chocolate-making class.
Oh, we did go to a chocolate-making class.
Yeah.
That was good. Yeah.
Cute times.
Alright, continue with your video now
that the quiz is done.
Well, yeah, I think that's--
that was our whole four-year anniversary, wasn't it?
Just chilling in here,
making some food, watching some shows,
being in love and all gross.
- My favorite thing is watching the heteros like slowly hate
each other in quarantine.
It's very-- it's very confusing seeing all the straight couples
that are like,
"oh god, I have to spend time with my wife now and stuff,"
and I'm like, "this is great."
- Yeah, we're just vibing. We're just straight vibing.
We're just both driving each other up the wall, but like in a good way.
- Yeah, oh, hmmm?
No?
- No, but the way you said it.
Ahhhh.
[Laughter] I think it's I think fun.
I'm having fun being trapped inside with you,
if I had to be trapped inside with anyone,
it would be you.
But yeah, I think
that's the exciting update on our four-year anniversary.
- Yeah.
What country are we going to next, babe?
We're probably staying right here.
- What's the fun update?
I don't know.
Who knows?
We don't know what's going on in the world.
We don't know where we're gonna be,
we're just kind of, "bleh."
- Yeah.
Let's make a noise to describe what are we doing next?
Three, two, one:
[Riley] Meh. [Fiona] uuuuuuggggghhhhhh.
Damn, okay.
Alright, well,
that's all I had for you all today.
Remember to go to dollarshaveclub.com/riley
to get started with your $5 Ultimate Shave Starter Set.
- Oh, I didn't do the part where I was going to tell them
that we shave each other's ankles.
You-- tell them now.
- We shave each other's ankles.
Sure, babe.
That's a real thing that we do.
It's not weird at all.
- Cut it out.
It's not funny.
[Laughter] No, I'm just gonna leave it in
for people to be like, "What the fuck?"
- No, I thought it was funny at like 2am
when we hadn't slept last night.
I thought it'd be so funny...
We're such comedians.
- To say that we shave each other's ankles.
Why? That's not funny!
[Laughter] We're killing it.
We're killing the comedy game.
[Laughter] - Ahhh!
Anyways, thank you
all for watching and for putting up with whatever this is,
and we'll see you next time.
[Both] Bye!