Hey there viewers and welcome back to bestie! Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
This relationship can be with family members, friends, partner or employer.
Trust is built when someone matches their behavior with what they say. It instills a feeling of
confidence and security in a relationship. But how can you tell if someone is being
truthful to you or just taking you for a ride? There are certain sets of traits and actions that
people who are habitually untrustworthy have in common. Of course we cannot walk around being
suspicious of everyone, but it is important to have an understanding of people who cannot be
trusted. Picking up on these red flags will save you from getting hurt in the future.
Gossiping? People who lack empathy? Narcissists?
Stay tuned to find out all the signs to spot an untrustworthy person.
They Are Emotionally Unstable It is common for us to go through emotional
ups and downs. But having those experiences and reacting to every event in an extreme
manner is concerning. The way you manage your emotions says a lot about your mental wellbeing.
If you know someone whose emotions fluctuate wildly from one extreme to another then that’s
a red flag for sure.Their inability to manage feelings leads to an inability to make a decision.
Even if the decision is made they find it hard to stick to it. This means that
there’s no anchor to base your trust around. Don’t get us wrong, not all emotional people
are untrustworthy. Only the ones that are impulsive, volatile and emotionally polarized.
Have you had an experience with an emotionally unstable person?
Share your experience with us in the comments!
They Don’t Show Empathy Lacking empathy is a constant
feature shared among people who cannot be trusted. An empathetic person is someone who feels the pain
and suffering of others on a deeper level and connects with them through this pain. They would
never knowingly hurt someone because they will feel it themselves. If someone intentionally
betrays your trust, then they might lack empathy. The fact that some people are not even aware that
they are being apathetic selectively, makes it even worse. You should be aware of how they are
treating other people and interacting with them to judge if they are empathetic or not. For example
if you notice them being rude to waiters and janitors then it's time to say goodbye.
They Love To Gossip
Gossiping may seem like an innocent passtime during office breaks or with friends. Always
remember that anyone who gossips with you may also be gossiping about you. People normally start to
tattle as a way of letting off some steam. However you should know when to draw the line. For example
it would be highly inappropriate if your boss starts gossiping about his colleagues and peers.
If you have a group of friends who judge others then maybe it is time for you to find some new
friends. Sure, it releases stress and sometimes strengthens your relationships with other people.
But if they don’t hold back from gossiping about someone then you should make a quick exit.
They Easily Spill The Beans Who doesn’t have secrets? At some
point you must have experienced someone letting your secret slip. This is one of the primary
things that breaks trust in any relationship. If you are hanging out with someone who tells other
people’s secrets to you at the drop of a hat then they may also be telling yours to others.
People usually learn from their mistakes and mend their ways, realizing that confidentiality, when
asked for and agreed to, is sacred. But someone who doesn’t seem to understand the art of keeping
a secret certainly isn’t to be trusted. Your own secrets won’t be treated with any more respect.
They Are Two - Faced There is no skill more
important than spotting a two faced person. Normally such a person is not sincere. They
say unpleasant things about you to others while seeming to be pleasant and on good terms with you.
It is safe to say that a lot of us may have dealt with someone like this.
They remain polite around you but spread rumors behind your back. As soon as you start to notice
this kind of behavior, it’s best is to get out of the relationship – as fast as possible.
They Are Fickle Someone who is fickle minded will
lack consistency and stability. They also tend to make erratic decisions. You know you are dealing
with such a person if they find it difficult to commit. Their constant haphazard emotions make
them highly indecisive. Decisions they make are more likely to be influenced by external factors,
rather than being guided by their internal compass. The unpredictable emotional state
shows that they are not trustworthy and they cannot stick to any decision they make.
When someone’s constantly changing their mind, they don’t have any accountability or reliability,
which means there’s no way you can trust them. It is important for you to recognise these signs and
not let such a person just string you along. They Seem Insecure
Feeling insecure is common. Some people may feel this way for some time while others may feel it a
lot more in every aspect of their life. Insecurity stems from childhood trauma, loneliness,
a critical parent or social anxiety. An insecure person will try to make you feel bad by projecting
their insecurities on you. They also complain about things not being good enough. Such people
cannot be trusted because they have the ability to manipulate the situation in their favour.
They do this to get things done their way without exposing their vulnerabilities. Being with them is
emotionally draining and you need to set strong boundaries rather than being their caretaker.
They Always Agree With You Have you met someone who always
agrees with you and your opinions? You rarely have any disagreement with them. This is a cause of
concern. People who constantly agree with others do this to maintain or form social relationships.
They don’t like to say that others are not telling the truth or lying because
this creates an uncomfortable situation. So they take a shorter route and simply agree with you.
This behaviour should not be confused with being supportive. Deep in the hearts of people-pleasers,
they have different ideals and goals than yours. This also means that they are not
being real with their emotions. So will you ever know if their support is real or not?
Such people often end up not having a lot of friends because they can never be themselves.
They Show Narcissistic Traits A narcissist is someone who is too self
involved. To be more accurate, narcissistic people aren't just people who are too self centered
they have a massive sense of self esteem. They are hungry for attention, admiration or appreciation.
It is pretty easy to spot such a person because they expect special treatment by others according
to their status. It becomes hard for such a person to see things from other people’s perspective.
They cannot take the blame for their mistakes. No matter what the situation,
they blame other people or situations or anything else for their faults.
It becomes clear why a narcissist should never be fully trusted.
Think you are dealing with a narcissist? Check out this video and learn how to identify one.
Now back to signs that someone is not trustworthy. They Are Overly Charming
Have you ever met someone and immediately thought of them as a charming person?
It may seem like you can trust them, but that is not the case. Charming people may seem like good
listeners but underneath all that sweetness hides bad intentions. This may be brought to
light when you have already invested in their relationship. By digging deeper into their
personality you will start noticing a pattern. They will ask several questions about you while
not revealing anything about their life or personality. This is concerning. They use
their charm to get their way in life and should not be trusted with any important information.
They Abuse Their Power When you feel like someone is asserting
their authority over you like your boss then they cannot be trusted. This aspect is known as
emotional abuse which is a way of controlling another person by criticizing, embarrassing or
manipulating. An emotionally abusive relationship wears down your self esteem and mental health.
It goes without saying that such a person should not be trusted. They will gain your trust little
by little and use that information or power against you. To recognise the pattern you can do
two things - hear out your instincts and pay close attention to their behavior with other people.
They Fail To Meet Commitments Constant inability to follow through
with some commitment is a major sign of someone who is untrustworthy. Normally, if anyone is
unable to meet commitments they either send a quick text or they let you know and apologize.
On the other hand, when an untrustworthy person fails to meet promises they do not care about
other people’s time. They also don’t care about the consequences of their actions. If you know
someone who does this then you simply cannot trust them. If this happens in a professional setting
then this type of behaviour will be undermined. Have you had to deal with untrustworthy people
in the past? Share your experiences in the comments section below.