So, um,
where to start? It has been an eventful
weekend for everybody. It has been a
weekend that has been more successful
for some than others.
Um, as you guys know, it was Rose
Wagglin at the weekend um, in London,
the big YouTube event that we held that
we organized with Ken and Lucy and
Whitney and Megan. We did um we did it
as a joint effort and um we've been
organizing it obviously for the last
sort of five or six months and um
probably longer. We've made a lot of
videos about it, promoting it, telling
everybody to come down, have a great day
with us. Um I was really excited about
it. Everybody was. And you didn't get to
go, did you? No.
No, I didn't get to go. # Whatis life?
Um an unfair pain in the [ __ ] It's
actually really upsetting for me to
think about because um I'm still quite
shocked about the whole thing. It was
just such a shame it happened on the day
of the event. I naturally have quite a
low blood pressure and um my doctor
prescribed me some medicine that further
lowers my blood pressure. Nice one. Rose
and I were staying in Reading with my
brother and his girlfriend. So the night
before Roslin, we'd already got the
train into London and had our Diva photo
shoot, which was fine. hung out with
Kaylin, Lucy, Bella, our host, and
Whitney and Megan, which was awesome.
And then we all went back to Kayen and
Lucy's and had like pizza and um you
were really good. You didn't have any
alcohol. I went out. I had I was
drinking, but you didn't. Um so we all
hung out. You're fine, weren't you?
Nervous a little bit as we all were.
Excited. Excited. I was excited. Nervous
the night before. Yeah. Adrenaline, I
think. Yeah, we we all did. Like Lucy
did, Megan did. We all did. Because we
were rehearsing and that's what happens.
We pooped. We had nervous poops. Yeah.
We said, "Kay and Lucy, we need to poop.
Can we poop in your medicine?" And they
were like, "Of course." So, the day of
the event, we were running because we
thought we were going to miss our train.
So, we were running and running um to
the train station and Rose was behind me
and I thought that you really fast
runner. Normally, you actually overtake
me. I'd say you're you're better
swimmer, better runner, you're more
athletic than me. So, I found it I was
quite annoyed that you were going so
slowly and I thought it's cuz you were
carrying more stuff than me. So, I ran
back to you, didn't I? And I took all
your stuff off you. Did you? Yeah. I was
carrying I was carrying all your stuff
for you and going, "Come on, Rose. Come
on." Cuz I didn't I wanted us to catch
this train because you were stressing
about time. It was a 2 minute past 10
train and it would get in for half and
we were meeting Whitney and Megan at
Paddington at half 10. Yeah. But there
was another train later, but you were
you were like, "Oh, we've got to You're
very on time. I'm very relaxed about
these things." And you were like, "We've
got to get the train." So, we were
running to get the train. I took all
your stuff off you. I was running ahead
and I turned around and I'd got down the
stairs to the platform and Rose was
running halfway down the stairs. I said,
"Rose, come on." And she just fainted. I
dropped all my [ __ ] Didn't tell you
this before, but I dropped your laptop
bag with your laptop or straight on the
floor. Didn't give [ __ ] about
everything. How dare you? I just dropped
it all. Left my purse was on the floor.
Everything cuz I was carrying my purse.
Everything was on the floor. Ticket. We
lost the ticket. and I ran up to you and
at first you were just out fainted like
fine and I've seen loads of people faint
at school and they fainted and then
they've just come back around and it's
been fine. So you'd fainted and I got to
you and I lifted your head up and sort
of did this on you and was like Rose
come on Rose wake up and then you didn't
wake up and I think I started panicking
a little bit because I was like how am I
going to wake her up? because I tapped
your face and moved your head. Like I
thought, how am I going to wake you up?
The scariest part, I think, one of the
scare scariest parts is that you started
like fitting basically. So you're like
moving all your legs and your arms and
what was weird was you rolling your head
round
and you were making noises like the
exorcist. So you literally went
It was horrible. Your eyes were wide
open. And they weren't rolling back, but
they were rolling around. So, there
wasn't the whites to your eyes, but you
were like,
it's horrible. It was really scary. I
realized cuz I was thinking, why is she
making noises? And I realized that every
time you made noise, you were trying,
you're struggling to breathe, but it's
VC you go
cuz you obviously had real shield, so
you couldn't breathe properly. So, I was
like, okay. I remember thinking, "Okay,
at least she's breathing. She's
breathing. So, let's just see sort of
what happens." Cuz I couldn't wake you
up. You still I was still shouting your
name. And by that time, um it's really
hard to talk about, don't I? I know.
It's horrible. Um and by that time when
you were fitting and stuff, I was
kneeling by you on the steps and I
turned around. There were two train
attendants at the bottom of the steps
and I screamed, "Help me, help, somebody
help me." So, EastEnders, I was like,
"Somebody help me help." really loudly
shouting and they didn't move and I was
literally looking at them and they were
looking at me and I was going help and
they didn't do anything and I went, "Why
are you [ __ ] helping? Why the [ __ ]
won't you help me?" And they had a go at
me and they were like, "Oh, well, I'm
not going to help if you swear at me,
love." So, I just turned around and
ignored them. But my brother said that
was so bad because they could see that
you were on the stairs. They could see
you. They could see me kneeling by you.
They could hear me shouting rose. They
saw the whole thing. They heard me
shout, "Help, help, help." And they
didn't run to help. I was so not happy.
And that was the train attendants at
Reading Station. I felt helpless because
I was screaming at them to help and they
were just not doing anything. That's
[ __ ] terrible. And then you stopped
breathing
because I turned around and you were
going, it was quite it's trying to be
regular anyway. It was happening like
continuously. You're moving your head.
So I was like, "Okay." And then you just
stopped breathing. You didn't make any
noise and you just rolled your head
around. You were like, it looked like
you were trying to breathe. You were
like
And I And I was just like, "Oh my god,
what can I do to make her breathe?" So I
put my hand in my in your mouth. My
whole hand opened it. I literally shut
up. I put my hand in your mouth and
opened it really roughly. I'm surprised
it didn't like hurt your jaw cuz I was
trying to open your mouth to get more
air into it. And I looked in your mouth
and there was you weren't there's
nothing in your mouth cuz I would have
like if you were choking on something I
would have put my hand in took it out.
Your tongue was okay. It wasn't like you
know it was just horrible. But you
stopped breathing then. And I screamed,
"Help, help, help again." And eventually
they came up, but it wasn't It would
have took them 2 seconds to run up the
stairs and they just let you fit on the
floor, which [ __ ] upset me. My
brother was really, really unhappy about
it. And I rang 999. And you were still
fitting, but you didn't know if you were
breathing or not. Um, how long how long
was that for? You fitted for [ __ ]
ages. Honestly, the doctor was like,
"Oh, it probably seemed like longer than
it was, but I know it was for a long,
long time because all the other people
were there." Plus, I saw our train come
and go. That took a fair few [ __ ]
minutes. I saw because we were actually
early for our train. We didn't even have
to run. Yeah, we're about 4 minutes
early and then it came in, waited, and
left. So, that's about 6 minutes at
least for a train to come and go cuz
think about how much time it takes to
start a train and move a train. Um, and
people boarded and got off and stuff.
So, Oh, well, thanks. So, I remember
looking at the train like, "Yeah, did
you think for a second? Yeah, I might
just see you later." Katie on the phone
was amazing. And at the end, I asked her
name and said, "Thank you so much." Oh,
okay. All right, then. She was amazing.
I'm under. I'm under. And I was just
flirting. Nice. When we were running
through the train station, I thought to
myself, I can't run. What's wrong with
my body? Your body shut down. Like, I
can't go. And I was like, are my legs
hurting? So, I've got these ligaments as
well. God, hypochondria. And um and I
got to the top of the stairs after the
escalation. I was like, "Okay." And then
I got to the partition and then I felt
dizzy and I stopped and you were way in
front of me and and then you turned
around and said, "Rose, come on." And I
was just like,
"No." And then I remember going, "I'm
surprised I didn't hurt myself falling
down. I didn't hurt myself at all." The
whole time I was shouting, "Rose, Rose,
Rose." I was shouting mainly to wake you
up. Um,
so yeah, and then and to see if you
could hear me and respond and I just got
no response. And after a while, I kept
thinking at the beginning, if I kept
shouting, you'd snap out of it. I
usually do, but
after a while, I realized there's no
point. She can't. She's just not in this
world. Like, you weren't with me. And
it's so horrible. And I just thought I
felt so helpless because I thought
there's nothing I can do. I can shout
her and I can hold her head, but I can't
make her breathe. I can't make her body
work like mouth to mouth. Could have
tried. I was going to I was going to try
that, but they told me not to do that on
the phone.
So,
when I um Yeah. So, when So, you came
too and you heard me shouting woes,
didn't you? Yeah. When when I came
around, it was probably the worst
feeling of my life cuz at first I
thought it was a dream and then I was
like, why can't I breathe? And then I
was like, why are these man hands
clutching my head? And then I was
looking at you and you were like, "Rose,
Rose." And that's because, "Rose, are
you okay?" And I was just like, "You
still didn't respond to anything I
said." So I was like, "Great. She's got
brain damage." I thought maybe you had
short-term memory loss because I thought
you didn't know who I was because I was
like, I said, "Rose, Rose, respond to
me. Rose, say something." And you just
didn't say anything. How horrible that
was. You didn't say anything. I was
like, "Rose, just respond. Rose, say
something. Rose." And I was going to
say, "Rose, who am I?" But I didn't want
to say it in case you were like, but you
didn't say anything. You were just
looking at me like But I think what it
obviously was is the shock of coming
around. But I thought you were just
looking at me like, "Who the hell are
you?" Well, how long was I looking at
you for? Because I [ __ ] ages. You cuz
I was on the phone to the ambulance for
ages cuz waiting for the ambulance man
to get there. You did not say a word.
And he said, "You do realize you're not
going now, don't you?" And I was like,
"Okay, okay." I was like, "No, no, I
want to go." Yeah, I know. I remember I
was like, "We need we're going to get
our train." He was like, "You're going
to go to hospital." And then I had the
lovely job of ringing your mom and dad
and sister and having to tell them
you're about to get into an ambulance
and get to hospital and your sister
freaked the [ __ ] out. Did she? What did
she say? She just went I went I rang
Laura went, "Hi Laura, it's Rosie
Sporton. Just so you know, I'm with
Rose. The paramedics are here. We're
about to get in the ambulance and go to
hospital." And she really pan I can
really hear her voice. She went, "What's
happened?" Like that. What's happened?
She probably thought you were like
dying. Yeah. Which so did I to be fair.
Um and then I said, "It's okay. It's
okay. Calm down." I said, "She fainted
and had a fit and now she's the taken
care of and they're just going to take
her to the hospital." And she was like,
"Right, I'm coming." But it's when she
went she went, "What's happened like
that?" I was like, "Oh [ __ ] I said it
wrong." But there's no way you can say
it right. Like how could I make it less
panicky? And then when I Yeah. So when I
was on the phone to your dad and mom, he
heard you saying it anyway, but you said
I can't move my left arm. Yeah. And then
and you couldn't move any of your hands.
They were like claws. I remember they
stood me up and um and they took me to
the ambulance and they h they put you in
a they had to put you in a wheelchair to
get to the ambulance. Oh my god. Do you
remember when I dry heaved on the
platform? Yeah. So you she was in a um
wheelchair and we were wheeling along
and it was the motion. You were like I'm
going to be sick and we have to stop.
Everyone was around us in meditation.
You would go
And I was looking at you like, "Oh,
today could have been such a good day."
So, another one of the parts of the
story that was really scary for me
was
when they took you into the ambulance,
the ambulance lady said to me, "We're
going to put Rose in the ambulance and
we're going to run some checks and if we
need to, we're going to go to the
hospital, in which case you can come in
and if not, if if she's okay, then we'll
let you know." and they took you into
the ambulance, all four of them, and
shut the ambulance door. So, I rang
everyone again and updated everyone and
I had to ring obviously Kane and Lucy
and say, "Tell wagon we're not meeting
them at the station anymore." Um, and I
said, you know, carry on as normal.
Maybe I'll be at the event later. I
don't know. I don't know how serious it
is. I don't know what's going on. Um but
then so I rang everyone and that took a
while because I rang Emma Carl, my mom,
Anna, Lucy, um your sister.
That's like seven people I rang. So that
took a long time. And then I was
thinking,
"Oh my god, why aren't they letting me
in?" And I really really panicked and I
thought obviously what's happened is
she's had another fit and they're
probably doing emergency stuff on her so
I can't be let in. And I was like oh my
god if she dies if something happens to
Rose I'm out. I can't I'm not in there.
I have to wait outside. It's horrible
waiting. I know cuz I was in there 45
minutes. I know I passed that and I was
horribly sick. You're lucky you didn't
see it. You saw it later. And they stuck
all the things onto you, didn't they?
And measured your heart and everything.
Yeah. So that was absolutely terrifying
just thinking not knowing what was going
on and being not with her anymore. The
ambulance people took over. So that's
[ __ ] horrible. And after like 45
minutes I went up to the ambulance and
knocked on the door and the woman was
like oh yeah forgot about you. And I was
like I said to the woman I said to the
woman
and she was like I was like and I was
pointing to you and then she was like oh
yeah we'll go and tell her what's going
on. But I was like for the love of God
woman give me my sick bowl and move on.
But Laura came up from P Laura came from
London and she got I don't know how she
made it there. So she ran from Reading
Station to the hospital. She ran. I
know. And such a good So we went to
hospital. Um and we I had a hard time in
the hospital, didn't I? And you were
puking everywhere. Me your brother and
Rian came remember they put me in a
wheelchair.
God. And um and and just before the the
the doctor saw me, I was literally
passing out. I remember. And because I
woke myself up, I was like, and then
every time I lost consciousness, I was
so uncontrollably sick. And can I just
say, I'm normally absolutely terrible.
If someone else is sick by me, I feel
sick. I'm like, if someone's sick, I'm
go there going,
Laura Dick, hating it. Yeah. And it's so
funny in the in the hospital, you were
sat in your wheelchair puking, and
everyone else was looking away like
trying not to heave. And I was there. Do
you want me to get you a hair band,
babe? Do you want me to get you a
tissue? Do you want me to get a glass of
water? Oh, you'll be okay, babe. Kissing
you, looking at your banana smoothie.
Yeah. Smelling its content. Did you Did
it make you hungry? Oh, Rose. What did I
say to the ambulance guy when I was
literally practically on when it first
happened? I was coming around for the
first time. They were trying to keep me
responsive cuz I just wanted to like
bail. I was like, "Oh." Yeah. That's
when another thing happened. you fell
asleep and um the ambulance when I was
on the phone to the ambulance she was
like she can't go to sleep keep her
awake so I had to wake you up but you
you really wanted to go to sleep but um
I was like oh no please I feel awful
just leave me on the floor it's cold and
then the guy was like oh so so what do
you do what you what do you do for a
living
you're a big dude I don't know if you
know but I'm kind of a big dude
you know I was joking you know I was
joking but yeah and um I was making
myself lol even though I wanted to die.
So it happened at the worst possible
moment in my life. I have I had planned
everything so perfectly to the tea
because I'm very very organized. I knew
what trains we were getting, how much
we'd have to spend, when we'd have to be
there, who we were meeting, what we had
to take. I'm more happy golucky for
these kind of things. Um so as you can
imagine on the day I was completely
devastated. Um but there was there was
no question as to whether I could have
gone. I mean there was just no question
if a member of if a doctor tells you you
can't go you can't go but the thing is I
was so I was out I was completely out of
it and then obviously I wanted I didn't
I felt so disappointed and terrible when
I started feeling better about 4 hours
later about half 2 three I felt a bit
better and I was just so upset all day
looking at the internet and like seeing
how it was all unfolding and Kalin
when Kayn came I'm getting upset when
Kayn came out and said um
you know that I was ill and stuff, I
just thought, "Oh, she said that so so
well." I was really really touched at
how how supportive everybody was cuz I
was so so upset that I didn't get to see
everybody, especially when people would
come, you know, quite far and well I'd
come. People wrote you get well cards
though, best wishes and stuff. Everyone
gave me their regards to you. Oh,
[ __ ] sucks. I'm still really angry
about it all. But I do want to say that
Kayan, Lucy, Whitney, and Megan, you are
just the most incredible friends, and I
love you so much. And Bella, who was our
host, did an exceptional job. Bella was
brilliant as well. And all of the people
that went, I'm so sorry that I missed
you all, but I've received all of your
cards and all of your letters that I
will reply to as soon as I can. Yep. And
now you're unemployed. That's what
you're going to be doing, replying.
Yeah, that's right. Um, and I was just
so touched at all of your lovely
messages, all of your support, and I'm
just so
I'm just so sorry that I I couldn't go.
And I know this video hasn't been the
most entertaining of videos, but I do
feel like I'm responsible for an
explanation, obviously, and and so is my
blood pressure. So, thanks for nothing.
And um, thank you for everything. I love
you so much. Um, you were exceptionally
good. Exceptionally good. Exceptionally,
you were exceptionally good. So, I'm
really glad that you went to Rose
Wagglin. Did you have a good time? Yeah.
Yeah. I fanled a little bit when I was
like dying in bed looking at the the
Tumblr pictures of you arriving and I
was just like, "Oh, you look you look
really good and everybody was really
happy to see you." So, I'm really happy
you went. I'm still going to edit the
Roslin footage cuz my good friend Sam
Brown and his buddy Your film crew was
there. Upside Media. My film crew upside
media were there and um and I'm going to
edit together some of the footage they
took and badly superimposed
We can watch all of the other couples
footage as well. We can. We can. So,
it's not not all lost, you know. It was
for me though. I lost everything. So,
you lost your conscious. Yes, I lost
consciousness.
So, take care guys. Um, stay conscious.
See you soon. Love you. Bye.