- [Pear] Hey, hey. What is up, guys?
It is Pear, the most extreme gamer of all time.
It looks like you are forcing me to play, once again,
Who is Your Daddy,
or Who's Your Daddy, sorry there's no it--
Whatever, whatever.
Extreming it out.
I don't know why you guys want me to play this game.
It ended horribly last time, let's get right into it.
And once again, my wife is leaving me home alone
with the baby because that's ended so well in the past.
Who let this, who's just leaving knives on the ground, man?
Okay, now, okay where could I put this?
No I don't want to turn--
Okay, there we go, turning the TV on, okay.
That actually did something, I guess, somewhat productive.
I thought I was gonna turn on some horrible TV program,
but then my son would watch and--
What are you doing?
(grunts) Gosh, darn it.
Okay, apparently I just stuck the pills in the wall.
No, no, no, no, no!
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,
give that to me, give it, no.
You!
(screams in frustration)
Yeah, you should not--
Stop looking at me with your weird eyes, kid.
You're freaking me out.
Okay.
Why were there even pills in this room?
I don't even understand why
in the nursery room we're putting pill--
Okay, where'd he go? Gosh, darn it!
Are you stuck in the-- What is happening?
Did you get stuck in the stairs?
You got stuck in the stairs?
Oh, wait, wait, he's okay.
Okay, all right, well you just stay there.
I'm gonna go check some things out.
You just keep chilling there, bro.
Okay, let's see what's in the closet, see if--
What's up-- What's up there?
Grab the-- What is this?
Grab the baby disably? No!
No, don't go in there, no! Don't--
What? Okay, come on!
Okay, how am I supposed to stop you from killing yourself
when you can just walk through walls.
Gosh, darn it, I know where you're going too, kid.
There's a secret passage in the closet
that goes over here.
Okay, where are you? Where are you?
Okay, he's gonna come out right here, I guarantee it.
There he is, I knew it!
All right, I gotcha--
(screams in panic)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Oh my goodness, what did I do to the baby?
I didn't do it.
The baby was like that when I found--
Okay, I think we need an exorcism in here.
Okay, he's fine. He's fine.
I just zapped him a little bit.
Which, you know, I gotta say,
not the best parenting in the world but hey.
I mean we're leaving knives on the ground.
How much worse could it be?
We're just zapping the kid.
Wow, how are you even doing that?
How can you even move that? Aww, man.
No, don't go under the car, for crying out loud!
Okay, no, now he's going after the paint.
no paint cans, no paint cans, for you, no.
No! You are not gonna
color yourself all kinds of crazy colors.
Don't eat the paint, don't eat paint, dude.
Dude, get outta there, get out, okay, good.
Good, just leave, leave that alone.
Man, this is my worst nightmare.
You guys know how I feel about babies, right?
I mean it was kind of--
I mean, you know, I like babies, school--
Oh look, there's bleach up here, I can do some laundry--
No, I didn't mean to actually pick it, gosh, darn it.
Yeah, let me just throw the bleach
on the ground for the child--
No, quit, stop it, no, I don't want to pick this up, no.
No, he drank it!
He flippin, why did I take that off the shelf?
Why did I even go in the other room?
Why do I pick things up?
Why?
This is-- Oh, no.
This is not good.
No, stay out of the car.
You!
(screams in frustration)
This is terrible. This is my nightmare.
This is my, this is my own personal nightmare.
Get out of the car!
Aww, his health is draining, I just--
Okay, I may have contributed to the--
Aww, no. Did I just slam the car--
God dang it.
All right, that one might have been on me.
That one might have been on me.
I accidentally grabbed the bleach off the shelf.
You know, I just kind of wanted to explore
but you don't get to explore in this game at all
because the baby starts farting around
with things right from the get go.
You have no time to like, do anything.
Okay, let's grab some of this fruit.
Wonder what that--
Oh, crap, no!
Oh okay, now I dropped the dish on the floor
which means I have to wash it because it's dirty now.
How did you even open up the oven
and turn on all the burners?
Where did you get this knife from?
I am getting so frustrated--
Are you eating-- You're eating bleach again.
Gosh, darn it!
Is it even possible for me to win this game?
Let's put the chair in the oven,
see if I can block it from the kid getting in.
It's the only thing I can think of
is to block the kid from doing--
Oh kid, you're not looking to--
Is that another knife?
Oh no, I put that knife on the ground
which is a perfect place for me to put it.
I mean I might as well just, you know,
open up all of the oven, turn everything on.
Yep, again, again, again!
He just gets into the bleach and then that's it!
There is way too many things in this game to kill the baby!
How am I supposed to stop the baby from getting killed?
Gotta be kidding me!
I mean obviously, as you can see, I'm a completely competent
person to be left home with a baby all day long.
All day long.
All right, kid is in.
He's already getting out of there, okay.
(grunts) This game, this game.
I don't even know how to do this, okay.
So kid, is there even anything--
I'm hoping there isn't--
What do you have? What do you have?
What do you have? Give that to me.
No, don't open the door!
How do you open the doors? You don't even have hands--
How can you reach handles and stuff?
You're opening car doors.
You're getting into the ovens
and I just don't even understand how you're doing that.
Give me that. What is that?
What is it?
Oh, it's baby powder.
Well I guess, I'm hoping that you can't actually
do anything bad with that.
Yeah, give me that.
No, give me-- That's mine.
How did you--
How are you taking it from me?
Oh wait, they're power outlet covers.
What am I talking about?
Okay, so I can use this on some power outlets
if the kid's gonna go for 'em.
So if I just hold-- Do I have to hold on to this?
Is there an inventory?
Can I open up an inventory and stockpile some stuff
to keep the kid from killing himself?
What's all these clothes just laying around here?
Look at this kid.
Okay, if I can just bundle you up
in this, in this shirt or something.
Just coddle you for a little bit,
and maybe--
No, no, no, no, no, okay, let's...
Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here!
Man, I wish I could pick you up!
I'd put you in the bed
and then you would never be able to get out.
Okay, give me this. No, no, no, no!
No, I was-- I pressed it first!
Are you kidding me?
How did you even get in there?
No, okay, so maybe if I wash the baby up--
Okay, no that's scolding.
And now he's-- No, he's still losing health.
That's probably the bleach.
Maybe I-- Aww, you're still--
Yep, perfect, awesome.
Now what do I do?
Just stand here and watch you
just turn different colors and then--
Yeah, awesome.
Who's leaving me home alone with this baby?
I don't understand.
Oh, the chores, the chores started, I gotta put--
No! No!
Geez, I didn't drop the TV on the baby, that wasn't me.
I didn't do that. That wasn't me.
Please don't call Child Protective Services.
This was not me. I didn't do this.
Yeah, let's definitely do some chores
while the baby croaks on the floor!
(grunts and yells)
Okay. Okay, I'm okay.
It's okay, I'm good. I'm good.
I'm good. I'm good.
We're good.
We're gonna protect the baby.
Okay. (grunts)
Okay, child. Child, let's put that--
I'm serious now! I'm totally serious.
Okay, baby, maybe just play with me, kid.
Kid, yeah, we're jumping!
Yeah! There you go, see--
No, no, no, no, no. Where you going?
Here, play with the ball. Play with the ball.
Play with the ball.
You like that? What?
Geez, I just knocked that over with the--
Oh, what's this?
I grabbed the pills?
I wonder what the pills do?
Can I use that--
Oh, I can use them on the baby.
Oh!
I think I'm starting to get this now.
Okay. Okay.
There's things around the house
that you can get into and die
but I can try and stop you by giving you medication,
I bet you anything.
Okay, we're gonna probably have to test this theory
because I'm sure that you are going to try
and kill yourself, once again.
All right.
I know your, I know your ways, baby!
Just gonna put those pills right there.
No, don't even try! Nope, no!
Whatever you grab, I'm gonna take right away from you.
Don't you even think about grabbing anything ever!
You're making me angry, baby.
Where you going? where you going?
What are you doing? No!
Son of a gun! Get out--
Who put all this bleach on the floor?
Who put all the bleach? God.
Okay, I'm gonna get the pills.
Let's try the pills.
No, not the flipping candle!
Ooh, I don't want to set the baby on fire!
I've already done enough to the--
Yeah, see, now your health is back to normal.
That's right! Now I know your ways.
What, get-- What are you do--
Oh, you're in the trash, get out the trash can!
Get out of the trash can, get out of there, no.
No, no, you're eating--
Great, the baby ate all of the paper
and junk that was in the trash can
and he's losing health at an--
Oh wait, wait, wait.
Maybe I-- Can I give you an apple?
Will that bring your health-- Yes, that worked!
Oh, crap! I just spilled it everywhere.
No, get out of the oven! Get outta there!
I feel like this is totally unfairly balanced
towards the baby.
Like the baby has a better chance to kill--
Okay, put the orange in you.
Yes, yes, yes, it gave you some power back!
Although, it's a little weird that I'm feeding
all of my friends to the baby.
At this point, I don't care!
I don't care. I'm going to survive this day.
(grunts) Keep that open, kid.
Kid, don't go inside of it. You keep that open.
You keep that open. No!
Oh my gosh!
Whoever is playing this against me is--
They know how to push my buttons, they do.
Yeah, you go ahead.
Look at that, health back up to 90--
Now you're losing health again.
How are you losing health?
What did I do wrong?
Okay, there's gotta be some pills or something around here.
No, get out-- No, get out of the fridge.
Okay, can I give you this? No.
That's all raw food.
I probably don't wanna give raw food to the--
Stop closing the flipping
(groans) fridge doors.
I can't even talk. I'm getting so frustrated.
Babies don't go in the fridge!
That's the wrong place for the babies.
Don't go-- Where'd you go?
No. No!
Are you kidding me?
Aww, the batteries.
I forgot about the batteries.
Yep, you're just gonna eat all of those C batteries.
All the C batteries for the--
Let's see, oh, yes, yes, yes!
More pills, more pills, more pills.
Give me them pills. Give me them pills.
Where are you, baby? Where are you, baby?
Oh, you are turning all kinds of colors.
Give it, give it. Oh yes, okay.
I stopped it at 10%.
Is it four o'clock yet?
Is the mother gonna come home?
Okay, is there--
Oh, more pills. More pills, more pills.
Grab them pills.
Shove 'em down the baby's throat.
Come on, come on.
Oh, that did nothing.
Okay, so, I'm guessing that when the health is going down,
giving the pills actually helps stop it from going down.
Okay, I just know you cannot--
I don't want you to go through here
but I know that's where you're going!
No. No, no.
As soon as he opens the door, I'm gonna close it.
Bam, closed.
(screams)
Yes!
Yes! I have won!
I have won!
I am victorious!
Yes, thank you.
Thank you.
The daddy has won.
(exhales)
You guys forced me to play it and I won.
I won. I am the winner.
Yes. Who is your daddy?
Pear is your daddy!
(exhales) I'm sorry.
I'm a little worked up right now.
This game gets my goat a little bit.
All right, be sure to like and subscribe buttons, guys.
Let me know what game you want me to force me
to play next time.
Make sure to like and subscribe button, I already said that.
Until next time, peacin it out and rock-n-sauce
and just keep on extreming it to the fifth degree Jupiter.
(energenic electronic music)