(message notification)
- Hey, Uber for Janice?
'Cause I'm Janice.
- Uber for Brevin.
- Come one Benson, get in!
We got to go!
Uh, we're going to the brewery.
- We're bar hopping.
- Yeah.
It's just a little hop and skip across the entire city,
but don't worry.
We can do a meet and chat, little cutie with a booty.
I see what you packing in the driver's seat.
- Hold on one sec, we're still waiting on our friend.
Our friend is still in the bar. Brendan.
- Brendan!
Brendan!
- He's coming I swear like wait don't charge us yet.
- Can someone get me water, I need water.
- Oh yeah.
We can take these right. These are free.
- Oh dope.
- Thank you, Free samples.
- Who left this little gold nugget here. Freaking dang
so what kind of audible books you got?
- Where'd you get this bus? man.
- Hi, yes. Are you the Uber driver Byron?
Can you confirm that on your passenger?
It's Damien Haas, D A M I E N H A A S.
- Oh
- Not in the uber.
- Whoa
- I just swallowed it
- He swallowed.
- I just swallowed it, I'm good.
- He swallowed it, his good.
- It's gotta be so cool being an Uber driver.
Cause you just like,
you just meet people from like all different walks, right?
Like all different walks of life.
- Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Seat fry's get in on this.
- Somebody get Brendan
- Brendan stop making out.
- What's the craziest Uber story you've ever had.
- Hey do you want to see some of my nudes?
- Did you ever have any celebrities?
Well you got one now, just kidding.
Twitch.tv/damienhaas. I'm just kidding with you.
- Damn you sure you're driving an Uber
cause I'm pretty sure this is a clown car for fries.
- If I was famous you'd know right?
Cause the I'd be famous and you'd know.
- I wish I could slurp these like the chowmein.
- You know what that made me think of?
- What?
- Remember beef salad?
(laughter)
- Beef salad!
- Yeah
- Don't make me laugh, don't make me laugh
- Hey can you say beef salad, just say beef salad.
- Say it.
- We're Going to crash, just kidding it's okay.
- On three, you got to say with us 1, 2, 3.
- (all three) beef salad.
- No, you got to say it.
- Come on, bro commit.
- The weather has been crazy, right?
- Oh hell yeah, this is an uber pool?
Looks like this is gonna be a threesome.
- Hi
- Welcome to the party
- oh hi
- Freaking sexy uber party we're going on
a road trip together. Best friends.
- Oh yeah.
- Can I play music?
- Have you all heard them before? It's a power trio.
- Can I play the Dune soundtrack?
- Well, we can really get moving.
You know? I'm I'm settled and.
- it's not working.
- Are we not going? We're just staying here?
- You said this is free right?
- What do think about politics and religion?
I don't like either of them but we can talk about it.
- Oh he needs gum and we ran out cause
you don't have enough.
- I'm just going to walk, thanks so much.
- But you smell like church.
- Oh thank you, what the (beep).
- He needs the vaccine, (indistinct). He needs the vaccine.
- Whoa looks like someones getting some house work done.
This is great, I'm so happy for you.
Matte finish, yo these smell really good.
- Do we have to get out if someone like that?
- Please get out.
- Brendan
- Okay we're almost there I just need to make it
the right consistency, is this the right consistency?
- Brendan I need help lifting with my knees.
- They don't mix this color for you very well,
they didn't do a good job. Home Depot sometimes man.
They don't really know what they're up to.
- He's basically out
- He said his fine.
- Yeah his good, his going to. His with Brendan now.
- Yeah your house is going to look great.
- Hey I'm so sorry, I'm following along on google maps and
it says the ETA changed but it didn't change on the app.
Can you tell me which one is like more correct?
I'm not in a rush it's just for like planning purposes.
So I can text my friends.
- Help me, help me I'm being kidnapped. Help me.
It's just a prank that I do sometimes.
Oh shit, there's cops. I have priors,
I'm on parol, I should. I'll just go. Thanks.
- Oh okay, it's an uber pool. I didn't realize that.
New friends.
- Hey, yeah I'm Janice.
- What's your favorite kind of cat?
- Okay I'm sorry I got to cancel this trip,
I can't with this guy. It's the wrong vibes.
It's not you, I promise. Oh god .