2020 was hands down one of the lowest years I've had
in a very long time. If crying were an Olympic sport, not to brag, but I'd be a gold medalist
no, but seriously it was pretty bad. Call me Lady Gaga okay because I was on the edge
at one point I was crying at least once a day.
The smallest things, like you know, like a tomato slice falling on the floor
like that was just enough to just push me over the edge
so yeah I was not in a good place
but I did a great job hiding it
the FBI should consider hiring me because I was hiding all the evidence okay
so instead of having one gigantic unrealistic resolution for 2021
I decided to simply focus on three things:
my stuff
my health
and my mind
so first my stuff. The amount of crap that was spilling out of my drawers
and my dressers and my closet it was insanity like I already could hear TLC knocking on my front door
and I don't know about y'all but like a messy environment for me just creates a messy mind so I really needed to declutter my crap
and the first thing that I tackled was my closet
if you follow me on Instagram you know that my outfits have always been a little bit um loud
but every piece that I owned was so unique that it was really hard to create other outfits with it
you could basically only wear it once with one sort of outfit so I just had way too many damn clothes
so I was inspired by the idea of a capsule wardrobe
which is creating a wardrobe with neutral essential pieces that you can cross combine
into an infinite amount of outfits that can last you for years and years to come
so it would save money save space and save my stress by not having to go through decision fatigue
by having to think of an outfit
which has left me with this. I have this massive bag of clothes that I'm putting- oh my gosh
that I'm putting on my Depop
this is not sponsored but honestly, it should be
Depop what are you doing please sponsor me
I have some pretty freaking amazing pieces that I'm going to be putting on my Depop
so if you want to check out these pieces the link is down below in the description
I also decluttered and completely reorganized my dressers
I just got rid of all the clutter the crap and I was able to find the pieces that I actually use on a daily basis
and that I need at my immediate disposal so I'm not freaking rummaging through my drawers of Narnia trying to find what I need
the second thing that I'm making changes in is my health
on the outside, I look fine but on the inside, I've always felt like that shriveled up fish from SpongeBob
you know the one that goes, "oh chocolate I always hated it"
that lovely maiden. I could literally feel my joints like disintegrating
I know there's like a running joke on my channel about my knees are popping but like yo that's not good
like my knees are always in pain they're always popping I really needed to start exercising
to work out my joints you know get my blood pumping get the synovial fluid flowing
so I bought like this $20 resistance band from Target and I put together a YouTube playlist
of workouts that I found with resistance bands
and I just follow that once a week and so far I've been loving it
I've noticed a really big difference in my metabolism and in my knees
and in my energy as well as my stress
I'm only doing it once a week because I'm gonna be realistic with y'all like
I'm sorry I can't do every single day, okay?
I cannot do three times a week and that's okay
you need to do what's realistic for you and for me realistically I can do it once a week and even that
that's good so that brings me to the last thing that I'm focusing on 2021 and that is "my mind"
"at least I'm safe inside my mind"
like I mentioned before I was in a pretty bad mental space
to the point where just little things would really push me over the edge
it was just not a sustainable way of living if I wanted to continue living
so I have made four major changes for my mental health
first one is saying "no". I am a massive pushover
it's really hard for me to say no to people
even like strangers, it's hard for me to say "no"
I have this problem where I feel very loyal to people for no reason at all
but I've decided you know what, no!
no, I don't want to do that
no, I don't have time for that
and no I don't gotta explain myself
it's okay to say no if you are doing it to take care of yourself
Ow
second thing I started taking piano lessons
I just wanted a hobby that was meaningful, fulfilling, fun, challenging, and something that I can grow with
that is a healthy distraction. I'm currently taking lessons once a week and I freaking love it
the third change that I'm making is I need to stop isolating myself
when I'm sad y'all like I am sad! okay? I sulk, I'll turn off the lights, I'll get in bed
I will purposely put on sad music so I can be more sad
like it is not good so to prevent those kinds of sulking episodes
I need to recognize those red flags in me and in those moments reach out, It's okay to reach out to people
keep your relationships and keep people in your life so you don't isolate yourself
it really helps me to take myself away from the center of my life
and you know like focus on somebody else for a change and check on somebody else
how are they feeling, how are they doing?
and the fourth and final change that I'm making for my mental health
is spiritual health.
I got this a daily devotional that Martin and I like to do together
every single morning before breakfast and I just freaking love it
it's just a really good way to start my morning and really refresh my mindset for that day
and spiritual health can look different for everybody some people like to do yoga
some people like to meditate, some people like to disconnect from electronics
and go on a really long walk or go hiking. Whatever helps you to feed your soul
I ain't even gonna front with y'all my lowest point was in November
it was just... it was rough y'all I was struggling
but I'm very happy to tell y'all that I'm genuinely in a great place right now and
so far with all the changes that I've made, I'm feeling hopeful and excited for the future
because there's even more change that is coming
if I am blessed with more time on earth we are hoping this year to get a house
our first puppy and we're even talking about starting our own family
I just feel different y'all. I feel like I'm growing, I feel like I'm changing and I'm excited
I'm so excited and to bring you all on the journey so that you guys can grow with me
and maybe we could share a smile or two
thank you for watching and remember
be kind to others and be kind to yourself