When was the last time you saw a really cute girl?
Did you approach her?
Did you have a conversation?
Did you ask her for her phone number?
If you're like most men, the answer is probably no.
And I'm guessing it's because you had no idea
what to say to her to even start.
You looked at her, you found her attractive,
but your mind wouldn't blink.
And to be fair, it's not your fault.
It's difficult to come up with stuff to say on the fly.
But today, I'm gonna give you a little shortcut.
I'm gonna give you
a step-by-step framework for approaching women
and getting phone numbers and dates.
Which you're going to love and it's all going to be from
the very start of the conversation to the end.
And I'm going to tell you exactly what to do
and even give you proven lines that you can copy right away.
So after watching this video,
approaching women will not be a problem for you ever again.
And if you follow my framework, word for word like I tell you,
you will end up with more dates than you can handle.
So with that said, let's get into it.
I'm Marni and from here on out,
I'm going to be your very own personal wing girl.
And every week, I give you the no BS Insider info
about what women really want.
Plus the most effective methods to win over any girl you like.
So just hit that subscribe button now so you never miss a video.
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All right, back to getting her number.
So here's the cold approach framework I want you to follow
when you see a cute girl you want to talk to.
It has five easy steps and I'll break it down for you right now.
Starting with...
#1) Direct Opener or an Observational Opener
A direct opener is the most straightforward and confident way
to start a conversation.
This is where you walk up to a woman
and you show your interest in her without shame.
Not everybody can pull this off but here's how you do it.
You go up to her and say something like:
Hey, I know this is really random, but I think you're beautiful.
Hey, I know this is really random
but I think you have an incredible sense of style.
I think you have great energy.
Excuse me, I know this is really random
but I really like the way you carry yourself.
Do you see the pattern?
It's very simple.
You say hey, I know this is really random
because it is and then you follow it up
with a straightforward compliment.
The reason you say I know this is really random
is because It's actually an out-of-the-ordinary event.
Most guys don't go up to women and to start talking
I wish they did but they don't.
But by acknowledging that this is out of the ordinary,
you show that you're socially intelligent.
And as I said before,
showing your interests so directly without shame
makes you look extremely confident.
So whenever I get approached like this,
I immediately have respect for the guy.
I'm impressed by his boldness and by his bravery.
And most women will feel the same.
We know that it's tough.
Plus who can feel bad about a simple compliment
especially from a confident guy.
As long as you don't half-ass it,
you will never get a negative reaction to this opener.
You may not get what you want
but you won't get a negative reaction.
The other option for how to open up a conversation with a woman
if you're not feeling as bold is with an observational opener.
And this is my go-to.
I actually have a whole video
on my method for creating observational openers called OSA
that you can watch after this video.
I'll leave a link in the description below
so just in case you want to watch it
which you should.
It's really good.
Once you've opened, here's what you do next.
#2) Introduction
Once you've used your direct opener, don't linger on it.
Keep it moving, introduce yourself, and pull out your hand for a handshake.
Hi, I'm Ernie.
Or say something like:
Hi, my name is Mark. By the way, what's your name?
Reach out for a handshake.
You want to say your name first
to build a small sense of familiarity and for safety
and also to trigger reciprocity.
People often feel more compelled to give something
when they've received something first.
So after introducing yourself, here's what you do next.
#3) You Want to Transition
So the best way to transition is to use a time constraint
followed by an open-ended question.
So here's here's what that looks like.
So let's say her name is Haley.
You say, Haley, I actually have to go in a couple of minutes
but it'd be it would be cool to get to know you.
But what are you up to today?
Adding that time constraint is super important
because it means that you're telling her
that you have limited time
and then it's going to be for a short time
that you're talking to her.
She doesn't know you yet so she's not invested
and she might think in her head,
How long is this conversation going to take?
Will it waste my time?
When can I leave?
And by using a time constraint, you can really put her at ease.
And then by asking an open-ended question like,
Yeah, what are you up to today?
Gets you into a conversation.
I like that particular question
because it gives you an idea of what her day looks like.
How much time she has before she has to leave.
And if there's a possibility to make a date happen on the same day
so you can calibrate the rest of your conversation.
Keeping that information in mind so it's helpful for you too.
All right, the next step after this is super crucial
because this is where you really get the girl emotionally invested in you.
All the other stuff is just like the easy stuff.
So here comes...
#4) Playful Conversation
So once you've entered into a conversation after step #3,
you don't want to go into boring small talk
and you definitely don't want to fall into an interview style conversation
where you ask her a question,
and then you ask her another question,
and then another question.
This is going to kill her interest immediately.
The traction that you've built up by being bold and approaching her
is gonna just like die instantly.
So you need to keep it fun and playful.
The question is how do you do that?
And I have tons of videos with ideas on how to tease
and be playful with women
that you can watch after this video.
But here's one way that can be super cute and fun
no matter what age you are.
And the first one involves making playful guesses about her
and it's really fun.
So here's how it works.
You ask her a question
and then immediately follow it up
with this outrageous guess about her answer.
So where are you from?
Okay, let me guess, judging by your eye color,
New York.
Or another option is what do you do for work?
I guess since you're cute,
you're probably a biomechanical engineer.
I mean these don't have to be super clever
and it definitely doesn't have to make any sense.
But just ask a question and follow up with like
some sort of silly guess and the sillier the better.
It's just playful.
This is going to inject
that fun playful vibe into the conversation.
It doesn't require you to be a comedic genius
to come up with stuff like this.
Just say silly stuff.
This question that I just gave you
will allow you to set that playful tone in the conversation
and it will naturally lead to some quick jokes,
some banter, a nice back and forth
that naturally builds rapport and connection.
Now of course, I'm not saying you never get serious.
You can answer a question seriously and you should.
But it's always better to keep
those first few moments in a conversation
fun and light-hearted on a date.
When you approach on the street,
it just it makes you a person that people like more.
So now comes the part where you try to seal the deal
and that is...
#5) Call To Action
Once you've had a few minutes of conversation
and like some shared moments together,
you've made her laugh,
you've displayed that you're fun and you're a confident guy
who goes after what he wants,
and she's investing in what's happening between the two of you,
it's time to make things happen.
Which means you gotta ask for her number
and make plans to meet up in the future.
And there's absolutely no need to over complicate this.
You simply tell her this:
All right Haley or whatever her name is,
I've had a great time talking to you and I would love to see you again.
Let me get your number so we can set up something this week.
Or you can say:
Hey listen, it's been great talking to you but I gotta go now.
I'd love to see you again.
Let me get your number
and we'll set up something for later this week
or whatever your time frame is.
Or I also actually like this version.
It involves using a transition from something you talked about.
So you say for example:
You're into music into your conversation
and there happens to be a show happening next Friday.
You can transition your conversation into
Do you like shows? I know you mentioned that before.
And if she says yes or even no,
you can say that band that I told you about
is playing it next week on Thursday.
They're amazing, live, come with me.
I'd love to hang out more and listen to good music.
As you say this, pull out your phone for her
as if it's like an obvious thing that she's gonna give you her number.
And as long as you commit to it and do it without shame,
you'll find that most women will respond positively to it
because it shows leadership and confidence.
If she has talked to you until this point
and she's actually engaged in the conversation,
she's laughed at the jokes,
she's going to give you her number.
And most likely, she'll respond afterwards.
Okay then, once you have it, saved, give her a call.
So she can save your number and after that,
tell her it was nice meeting her
and that she will get a text from you soon
and then you can wait a couple of days
and then do that.
And then you shake your hands.
You're even better give her a hug
and then part ways.
So you gotta follow up I'd say like a couple of days later.
You don't want to text her right away.
The text can either be a call back to something funny you talked about
which is always a great first text or something playful like:
Hey Haley, this is Mark,
the cute guy you met and fell in love with
because of his passion for music with a little emoji
and then when she responds,
you can flirt a little more with her
and move things along towards the date.
Now if you're thinking:
Okay well Marni, you've just described the best case,
but what if she doesn't give me her number in the first place?
Then the answer is simple.
If she doesn't give you her number, you just tell her:
All right, no worries.
It was nice meeting you anyway. Have a great day.
Cut your losses, walk away, it's not a big deal.
But it is the best move you can make in that scenario
and she's gonna respect it.
You just smile and walk away.
However, there are only two main reasons
why she would hesitate giving you her number.
One is that she might have a boyfriend or a husband
which you can't do anything about.
Or she might not feel fully attracted to you
in which case, she might make up some reason like
Well, I don't give my number to strangers, sorry.
Or like that.
This is a problem that cannot be fixed at this point
but it can be avoided.
And the better you are at having fun and being playful in conversations,
the more attracted she will be
and the more likely it is that she gives you her number
and says yes to a date.
That's the most important piece in this approach framework.
To get better at having playful conversations.
And I recommend you click the link in the description below
and check out something that I put together called
the Banter Guide.
The Banter Guide gives proven lines and scripts
to grab a woman's attention, make her laugh,
and get her so hooked
that she begs to see you again and again.
And it gives you time-tested formulas to start a conversation
and keep it going seamlessly for as long as you want
without it ever getting boring.
And it even gives you some fantastic comebacks
for common tests women throw at men.
And even responses for common objections women have
when men try to escalate things.
So having the Banter Guide in your back pocket
will give you full confidence to talk to any woman you want
because you'll know exactly what to say to her
to sweep her off her feet
and make sure that you guys are having a fun time.
So just click the link in the description below
and check it out.
I am sure you will love it.
And lastly, thanks for watching this video till the very end.
I hope you found it useful again.
I will see you next week.