- [Sultan] I just gave you flowers
(all laughing)
and find out I'm the second option.
(uptempo music)
- Oh hey, wow, look!
We have a brand new podcast,
and we had Sultan on as a guest.
Stay to the end for more info.
- Hey, David.
- Hey, Crystal.
- We have a friend.
- Oh!
- Who's this-
- It's Sultan
(triumphant trumpet blaring)
- [Sultan] Hey, it's Sultan.
I'm the friend.
That's me.
(all laughing)
- Are we good now?
Can I get off the...
- Yeah, you can get off the chair
He won't eat you I promise.
- We're going to play a fun little game called
Are you ready for a relationship?
- No.
That's all the time we have for today, guys.
We'll see you next week.
(laughing)
- Whether you are already in a relationship or you're not
in a relationship yet, doesn't necessarily mean
that you are ready to be in a relationship.
- I'm keen, I'm keen
I'm ready to open my insides.
- For Alvin and the chipmunk.
- [Crystal] Now you're walking through the woods.
- Hmm I don't trust Theodore.
- [Crystal] You're calling Alvin. David's calling Crystal.
You come across a big animal in the forest.
One: How big is the animal?
And two: what is the animal?
- [David] It's huge, I can't see the sun
and it's a honey badger.
- [Crystal] It's a...
- Well is it as big as the elephant next to it?
Cause that's what I saw.
- A normally sized elephant
or like a fucking freak of nature
like David's Honey Badger.
- I don't think my elephant's as big as a honey.
- Very interesting.
Very distinct.
- What'd you write?
Let me see
- Judgements. David you see a giant honey badger
and Sultan you're seeing a--an elephant.
So what the fuck are you doing?
- There's only one real answer, right?
We gotta ride that shit.
(laughing)
- [David] I didn't even think of this.
This is amazing.
- Well David before you've decided
to ride your steed what was your knee jerk reaction?
- [David] Run.
- [Sultan] Why are you writing it down?
No!
- [Crystal] Another animal is now in your way.
What is the second animal?
- It's a hippo.
- A lion.
- Can we, can we ride both of them?
- I'm not riding the lion.
I don't... No I don't trust this lion.
- [Crystal] Well, I mean it's not a part
of the question. I don't-
- Okay. Thank God, because I don't trust this bitch.
- [Crystal] As you walk, you find two patches of flowers.
One is full of white flowers and one is full of red flowers.
You're going to pick 20 flowers to bring to the person
that you're looking for.
What color combination of the two flowers do you choose?
- I would make like the outside
like the red and then the inside would be filled
with like the white flowers.
- [David] That's pretty.
- Yeah.
- Mines half.
- [Crystal] You're gonna bring them to Alvin.
Alvin's gonna love them.
David I'm still not sure how you're looking
for me while I'm here
but it's fine.
You know what?
I've duplicated myself and now the other me is lost.
- Which one's the original.
- That was always the question.
- I knew you would say that.
- [Crystal] You come across an out of place building.
- Well this is unusual.
- What are we doing with this strange facility?
- Can we go in the building?
- It might have taken Alvin.
Crystal might be in there.
- Oh, right.
I forgot we were doing that.
No, I just.. they might have pizza I dunno.
I'm just thinking about pizza.
- Okay, so like how are we going in?
- Through the front door?
(doorbell rings)
- No, that's what they'd be expecting David.
Well, I think first we need to tie our steeds
to the nearest tree.
- You guys are gonna be well behaved, right?
- Yeah, I don't think they're gonna be well behaved.
- Just take out a knife.
- I still don't trust the lion
that's like following us.
- David you've decided to knock, I suppose.
Sultan, are you also knocking on the door?
No, I'm barging in. I'm telling
everyone to kneel down like the peasants they are.
Where did this building come from? This is--
- Where is my chipmunk?
- [David] This place knows something.
- [Crystal] They usher towards a very well dressed alien
with a clipboard.
- I have no idea what's happening right now.
(Crystal laughing)
- [Crystal] Please relax.
- You don't tell me who to- hold on. Uh uh uh.
- You tell them
- [Crystal] He's been here for quite some time.
They're in the green room. So, okay then what are we doing?
Are we like following this alien?
Or are we doing what we wanna do?
- Wait, is he being nice about it?
- I mean, he's being pretty nice.
- I will follow him then.
- If you tell me to relax one more time, Mr. Alien.
- That's right.
I have a hippo!
- David here knows karate, probably.
- [Crystal] Humans are very interesting.
- Well, I kind of wanna stab him just to see what comes out.
Do they bleed?
Like, I mean, we won't
because this is obviously a psychology Ted.
- Hmm. He thought about stabbing him.
- Let's follow the alien.
- Okay.
- Alright, we're following the alien.
- Okay.
- [Crystal] Strange alien has ushered you into the green
room and you see a very comfy looking lounge area
with a humorous attempt at quote unquote human decor.
Do you see your person on the couch?
Are they awake or are they asleep on the couch?
- You were awake.
- Okay, so Sultan. Was Alvin awake or was he asleep?
- Alvin's sleeping on Crystal's lap.
Oh my God. It was an alien abduction the whole time.
Is that the test?
Did I win?
Oh, wait.
This was about love, nevermind.
- I'm making judgment notes.
- Did you?
- There you are!
- It's me! It's-
- Are you Crystal?
- Who knows? (slurping sound)
Now I'm one person again.
Or am I?
- What?
- [Crystal] Alvin is singing Lil'Diddy on the couch.
- Good.
- (Alvin singing gibberish)
- [David] Get it!
(all laughing)
- The hits, the Alvin hits.
Actually, you know what Sultan?
I think it was about the friends we made along the way.
- You mean the hippo and the lion?
- [David] Yeah. I still don't trust that lion.
- Did you give him a bigger knife, Crystal?
Should have used it on the alien.
So we can see what he bleeds.
- Yes.
- [Crystal] To left of the room, you see a table and a jug.
What is the jug made out of
- Glass?
- Yeah. That's glass right?
- How much water's in the jug?
- Three fourths of the way full.
- That's what I was gonna say.
- [Crystal] You're escorted into the hallway.
Then you're separated from your person.
- They're taking our people Sultan.
- That's fine.
You're here.
(all laughing)
- [Crystal] A worker talking to you tells you
that when you enter the room
you're gonna sit down and you're gonna write
down what you dislike about your person.
- Okay.
- [Crystal] And when you go into the room
you see your person and they're writing.
So you both start writing
and you only write like a few things, if anything at all.
But as you're finished
you notice that your person is writing vigorously.
- Yeah. That makes sense.
- Okay. So what do you do?
- I see that they're writing more
and I just go, okay, well, we'll see what they say.
- Oh, okay.
I feel good.
Cuz now I'm the good guy.
- [David] Whoa, you wrote this whole list.
Look what I did bitch.
Who's the shit one in the relationship-
- Am I in the relationship with Alvin?
I- whoa.
I think we're just good good roommates.
No
- No.
- [Sultan] That doesn't sit well in history books.
I mean I'm hurt and I won't say anything
but if we fight in a month, I'll probably bring this up.
(all laughing)
- I twirl my fake mustache.
"Very interesting."
- Where did you pull that from?
Hang on.
Why does the mustache feel like chipmunk hair?
- [David] Oh my God.
- Don't look at that.
Look at this.
Anyway. You're both finished
and you're told you that you're allowed to leave it.
And as you leave, you see a puzzle on the table nearby.
What does the puzzle look like?
- Mostly complete and it's missing a piece or two.
It's just waiting for me to complete it.
- Oh. It's like a thousand piece puzzle
and there's like 200 to 300 pieces.
But a few of them are like upside down
and the gray is showing. These aliens are so embarrassing.
- You know what Sultan?
Get the knife ready.
Get the fucking knife ready.
- The puzzle was the last straw David.
- I'll do it!
- We stabbed the alien and the suit comes off.
It's just the second Crystal.
(all laughing)
- We made it to the end of my game.
- I feel like we won.
- I have judged you sufficiently.
Now it's time for the answers.
Okay. So the person that you're looking for
is supposed to be the most important person to you.
Alvin represents some familiarity childhood
nostalgia person. I guess.
- Yes, that's right.
It could be like a nostalgic friend kind of.
- Or maybe you're just a furry.
- Ooh
- [Crystal] I'm sorry.
The first animal that you find is how you see yourself
and your problems, the bigger the animal
the bigger the problems.
So like elephants are big, but they're really chill.
So like, you're like, wow well
these are a lot of problems, but like it's okay.
- [David] Honey badgers though are ferocious.
- Honey badgers actually are super ferocious
So David's like, I have so many problems though.
- That checks out.
- And the next thing is how you interact
with the animal is how you approach your problems.
- I wanted to skirt around it and like just kind of go
- Interestingly enough, Sultan
you decided to ride your elephant
- Yeah, and I guess that means that I sit on my problems.
- You're just kinda like, I guess this is my life now.
- Yeah...
- Alright, so the second animal that passes you
by is how you see your person.
So, apparently thanks.
- Hippos are nice.
- No, they're not.
- They're not, no.
- I'm trying to work this in my favor.
(all laughing)
- And Sultan yours is a lion.
- With a knife.
- You don't trust.
- You do not trust your lion.
- But I don't trust- which is actually
I- I, you know what.
(Pop Sound)
- Flowers represent, how much that you give
and then expect back in a relationship.
So, the amount of white is what you expect to receive
and the amount of red is what you expect to give.
So David's was half and half. Somebody who's been
in a relationship with you for almost 13 years.
Yeah. I would say that's about right?
- Yeah.
- Sultan, you had- I would,
I just said some red with mostly white
- But to me, because it was like styled, right?
It feels like conditional.
Does that make sense?
- You took the time to make it dialed like that.
That really speaks to your like character.
That looked really pretty.
- Aw, thanks David.
Can I give the flowers to David instead?
- Yeah.
- I don't wanna give them to- ah here you go David.
- Thank you!
- This is the second guest that you wooed,
I don't know if you know that.
- I just gave you flowers and find out
I'm the second option!
(David Laughing)
- I'm taking these flowers back.
Crystal, take this.
- How you approach the building that you run across
is how your mentality towards starting relationships is.
Bypassing the building and being like fuck that
building means that you're not gonna seek out relationships.
Knocking means that you're level headed and sensible
and crashing in means that you're a little desperate.
- Damn, Crystal.
- So, David
(all laughing)
- Let me recover after that drag, I'm still healing.
- You barged in and told everybody
to bow down like peasants.
(David Laughing)
- Well, does that mean that I'm desperate?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay. Cool.
Just clarifying for those that are-
- I barged with you, so.
- I mean you, you knocked first,
but then you barged.
What you choose to do when you enter the building shows how
you'll approach problems in said relationship
Walk in and the alien's like,
"Hi, they're in the green room." And you
either listen to him or you like, "Fuck you."
And then like you pass them and get through the green room.
- Hang on. No, no.
We didn't stab him because we knew this was coming.
So...
- That's right.
- Oh mhm mhm.
If you ask them to go get your person, like and bring them
to you, that means you prefer to not address problems at all
and, or have other people fix things for you.
And if you are like, well, I guess just take me to it.
You're gonna have the other person want to initiate
and solve the problems.
And then the entering and going in yourself is a more
direct approach to the problem.
So you actually like played yourself on this one guys.
You should have just stabbed him.
- You should have just stabbed him. Fuck!
- When you go into the room and you see your person.
So if they're awake, you expect them to change in some way.
Or if they're asleep, you accept them as they are.
- [David] I expect there to be compromise on both ends.
- You do expect change, but you were also
willing to provide something.
- Right. But, I'm also willing to provide change.
- [Sultan] Love them. Don't love who they could be.
But I also do agree that people grow together.
- I think, I guess it would be the timeframe of it, huh?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- The next part of it was what the jug is made out
of shows the state of your heart and how much water is
in the jug shows how much full of love it is
How are you react to the paper test
is how you show your personal level
of trust and personal insecurity.
So the other person was actually told to list
as many sea creatures as they could.
- What?!
- [Crystal] They were writing so much.
- What a plot twist! There's still plot twist happening?
Whoa.
- [Crystal] If you stopped and waited with curiosity
or no malice, you're very secure in yourself
and with your person.
If you stopped writing and, but felt very upset or betrayed
like- we're gonna bring it up later.
You may have a slight issue with insecurity.
- Me. No.
- The last option, if you get angry and then like
vengefully like write more like, well "They're writing this.
I'm just gonna make stuff up.
Like, fuck that person." Lack both trust
and or highly insecure and have destructive relationships.
So neither of you have that one.
Those at home, if that's you um...
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
(all laughing)
- The last question was the puzzle.
So the way the puzzle looks represents how you feel
about yourself.
If it was not started at all, you might feel kind of lost
in life or that you have a lot of things to work on.
And then there's incomplete. And the levels
of incompleteness is what we have to work with here.
David, you said that there was only like two pieces missing
but it was basically put together
- Right? That is eerily accurate.
- Yeah.
- Sultan yours was started, but it was missing
like 300 pieces and some of them are flipped upside down.
And it's also like, this is a lot.
- It is a lot Crystal.
It is. Take a seat with me.
It is a lot.
(all laughing)
- And then the last thing for those at home,
if it was complete you feel whole and self-assured.
- [Sultan] See, that's a red flag.
(all laughing)
If your puzzle was done
that's the real red flag in all of these scenarios.
- My final judgment is David.
You're fine.
- Yes.
- Sultan, I would say make sure you are self-aware.
- Yeah, but I'm not the one holding the knife.
It's the fucking lion.
- You know what? I forgot about the lion.
Don't fuck with relationships bro.
(David laughs)
- You know what Crystal?
I think you're right.
And then they all lived happily ever
- [Crystal] Leave a comment down below
with what your results were and go check
out the video we did over on Sultan's channel.
We also have a brand new podcast called
On the Chair with Crystal and David
where we talked with Sultan about his past relationships,
our past relationships. Go listen to it on YouTube
or anywhere where you listen to podcasts and get the tea.