Ahhhh, my favourite bit, going through the comments.
– No, no, no. You cannot joke about that.
– Yeah, that's not funny.
This series is all about going and speaking to different men
and listening to what they have to say.
Part of the listening is engaging with some of the comments.
Some of the comments are a little bit tapped.
If you have not watched the first series, there is a video where I answer
some recurring questions, including:
Why is a woman covering this?
Why does her accent change all the time?
Adam, on my life, if you put the Masvidal clip in this ...
[Mexican accent] I definitely get that, but I'm focussing on men.
[Laughs] Oh my gosh!
I watched it back, I was like: "Why am I speaking in a Mexican accent?"
He's Cuban as well.
It was because we started speaking in Spanish. That's why.
– Si, de masculidad. – Masculinity, exactamente.
I've been doing it since I was little. I can't. Sorry. It's just ... That's who I am.
OK.
A lot of people on the UFC video said that we didn't speak to women.
Weird that they didn't interview any female MMA fighters.
The UFC is one of the few sports organisations where men and women
share the same stage and are promoted alongside each other.
Oooh, there's a woman.
And I understand and appreciate that but this is a series on masculinity.
There were 12 different fights up on the list
and only one of them involved women.
So, I was like, obviously there are more guys who are fighting
and that's no disrespect to the women, I understand that there's a lot of things
said about, you know, them earning fair money compared to other sports.
I get it but this series is about masculinity and it was mostly men there.
I also did mention that in one of the clips that we recorded.
Obviously, there are female fighters as well and there are female fans
but it is dominated predominantly by men, so that's why the interest is here in that.
I don't want to kind of erase the existence of female fighters or anything
but I'm here to focus predominantly on masculinity.
And we didn't use it in the end because there's just a limit
to how much we could put in the video.
– I think we're running out of time. I have a final question about ...
– Time is infinite. [Laughter]
You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.
If you go and you speak to women they'll be like: "why did you speak to a woman?"
"Why is a woman doing this?"
And if you don't speak to women, they'll be like:
"Why didn't you speak to women?"
It's like, oh my god! I'm not going to make everyone happy.
Richie Rosson says: "She should get some bigger earrings."
I think that's a joke but I will try.
If I could get bigger ones I would.
Alex Gummar: "Wait, so was this supposed to come to a conclusion?"
Michael says: "She never unpacks the information to answer the question herself."
Alright, my brothers.
There isn't a concrete answer.
It's an exploration of something that's really complex, right?
Lots of people say different things. I think Dan Hardy gave a really good answer.
– Some of us have got a bit more wild animal than others
and that wild animal needs to manifest in some ways.
I'm not an expert on this.
The people I speak to provide a very, kind of, comprehensive,
wide-ranging response to quite a broad question.
I have been thinking, wracking my brains, to try and work out
how to wrap this up, what my conclusions are ...
I sat down for, like, a good half an hour talking about this
and then I just thought, well you're smart enough
to make your own opinions.
Oh god, it's taking ages!
But if you want to see me speak at length, I mean, I could upload
the whole half an hour video.
You could just watch me speak for half an hour about ...
– No you can't. [Laughter]
Adam said no, sorry guys.
Why is the UFC so popular with men?
I mean, the title riled people.
I'm so sorry guys.
I feel like I triggered people with this headline.
[Sighs]
There were some responses like: "Why are leggings so popular with women?"
"Why is Keeping up with the Kardashians so popular with women?"
"Why is pregnancy so popular with women?"
I think it would be interesting ...
Why is Keeping up with the Kardashians so popular with women?
I feel like you could say a lot about society, and where we're at
at the moment, social media, our culture.
If a guy wants to make that video, I will 100% watch it.
Shout me when it's done, alright? I'll share it on Twitter.
Circumcision was an interesting, controversial space to go into.
– If you was another man and you asked me this, I would have looked at you like
"what the fuck?" [Laughter]
How long have you guys known each other? – I don't know, ten years?
Ten years and you've never spoken about this?
– Never. Never talked about each others' penises either. No.
On all these episodes, I am not trying to come in and tell men what to do.
Who is it for me to tell a guy what ...
If he's saying to me "I don't feel that I've been mutilated.
I don't feel this. I don't feel this," who am I, as a woman,
to go and say to a guy: "Well, you know what, you are."
No! That's the whole reason I'm not taking a hard stance on this
because I'm not going to go to any guy and tell them:
"You shouldn't have had this done to you,"
if they're happy with it.
Or, you know: "You should have this done to you,"
if you haven't had it.
I'm not here to argue with people, I'm here to basically understand
where they are coming from because I feel like that's missing a lot.
– Shut up! –– You're a savage criminal.
– Shut up! You don't even have a dick. –– You're torturing little children.
– Oh, fuck you! You know what, if I wasn't a lady, I would deck you right now.
–– Yeah, well I would circumcise you if I could.
There are other places and other videos
where you can go to find people arguing about things.
I feel like there's a lot of opportunity to find those things elsewhere.
– Give me my phone back. –– You're assaulting a doctor.
– Get my phone.
You know, some of the DMs I've got, the responses I got ...
There was like a response video that seemed really, really annoyed with Eli.
– We need to have a conversation about antisemitism in the intactivist movement.
–– His willingness to throw this movement and the children we are trying to protect
under the bus, is evidence of his dual loyalty.
The intactivist world, I didn't say, was all on the alt-right
but there are corners of it where, clearly, there are issues.
Some of the comments, I was like, can you just allow me to go through this
as a person that doesn't know much about this, from a community where
it's practiced and I've worked on an FGM campaign.
If you can't even allow me to have this journey and come and form
my own opinions, you're really not going to do much for your own cause.
Like, you're just going to turn people off from it
and you just make it sound like something we can't talk about.
Oh my days!
I don't think I've ever seen anyone cut their own hair before.
I've been cutting my hair since 14 years old.
I was my first client.
I really enjoyed speaking to Mark and the guys in his barber shop
and it was so chill and I feel like
one of the best things about this series is that I've met such amazing guys,
across one and two.
The third episode just dealt with so many things that I just feel are important.
– I used to ask her like why is he like this
and why can't I get through to him.
And she's like: his dad didn't show him any love or anything so he's the same.
And I'm like is that an excuse though to not try?
I think there was a lot to connect with here about dads and religion and all of that stuff.
Kruption says: "This has to be the best episode so far
on the subject of toxic masculinity and that conversation.
Big ups to Iman as well.
Mad amount of respect for her doing these interviews."
Interestingly, it was Mark who brought up toxic masculinity.
This was the first time it got covered because I haven't wanted to talk about that.
– Everybody just talks so much about just toxic masculinity, so I don't think anybody
fully even knows what masculinity is anymore.
I think most people, in front of a camera anyway, are scared to talk about it.
So, somebody says: "That is fabulous. The whole thing about Mark's shop,
the men who go there, their conversation, very sweet and real."
– My faith is my foundation. I don't always get it right.
But that's my foundation.
I think so too.
Please go watch this video.
I really like this one, I think it's ... There's just something about it.
Are you actually going to eat that pizza?
Poor guy didn't get to eat his pizza.
He didn't really want the pizza.
It was more about the conversation but I'm glad you're so concerned
for Mark's well being.
– Yeah, it's fine. Good.
There is so much positivity in here. I try to engage a little bit with the
criticisms because I feel like it's good to answer those questions
but anything where someone feels like they got something positive out of it
I'm so happy. – Woo!
The men in the media episode.
Reed says: "The harsh criticism of advertising focussed towards women
and the lack of criticism towards male advertising felt like an implicit statement
that it was OK for men to be advertised to in this way.
It definitely shaped body self-consciousness that I still feel today.
Thank you for covering this, it means a lot to me."
Somebody said: "It's all so terribly confusing. Shouldn't I strive to be strong and successful?
Isn't shame just part of self-improvement? Nothing makes sense anymore."
See, I find that really interesting because that does also feed into like,
you know, the Peterson stuff about bettering yourself
and being a better version of yourself.
– The first question might be: "Why should you even bother improving yourself?"
Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, you know changing the way men look at themselves today.
How can you be the best version of yourself whilst also being kind to yourself
and actually liking yourself?
[Laughs] Actually, Gwyneth Paltrow, in her thing on Netflix ...
– Tell me you didn't just say that.
She talks about like self-optimisation.
– We're here one time, one life.
How can really we milk the shit out of this? [Laughter]
And I feel like we are all creatures that need to consistently progress
and feel like we're making ourselves better as we get older
because otherwise what's the point?
Adverts and the way society constructs success is very, very rigid.
That's not to say just because you want to break out of that very fixed box
that you want to be obese and lazy and unsuccessful.
It's about, kind of, diversifying that, right?
It's about ... You know if you're short, that isn't the image that is in, you know,
the adverts that we see and that's not something you can change
by going to the gym or dieting, so then how do you deal with that?
And it's about having, you know, different people and breaking down
the traditional adverts.
– Beauty is skin deep. It's underneath that counts.
–– It's underwear for a man with a great body ...
–– And David Beckham.
Is being the best version of yourself beating yourself up all the time
to the point where you force yourself into having that six pack
but you're maybe, underneath exhausted?
It's a balance, isn't it?
Yeah, when people are like in the comments:
"Oh, why are you talking to boys, talk to some real men."
I'm like shut up, man.
These kids are really smart and they're honest.
And sometimes I'll talk to "real men" and I'm like, OK, I know that you
are thinking a lot about what you're saying, so it's not coming from
such a natural place. Some guys ...
The whole point of me going to meet young people is it's like this is where it starts.
Why do you want me to always go speak to guys that think they have all the answers?
Go speak to the guys who are where the seeds are being planted.
It was through that conversation that I was like, oh my gosh,
these guys are actually thinking about plastic surgery at their young age.
This is as early as it comes in.
– Ronaldo, when he was younger he had some problems with his teeth
and like something to do with his face.
So, don't come at me with that nonsense.
I really, really do appreciate hearing from people, especially people who ...
Yeah, who kind of get it. It means a lot.
A lot of work goes into these. It's not all just giggles and nails.
So, yeah ... It's good when it pays off.
Also, like, should we mention we got nominated for RTS awards,
which is kind of sick? – Yeah, go on then.
We got nominated for a Royal Television Society award,
which is like proper telly award and we're the only non-broadcast,
non-news agency nomination.
I think we're going to probably take a little break from putting out videos
because, honestly, we haven't finished all of them and it's YouTube,
so we can just take a break.
We will be back in a couple of weeks with some more fresh episodes.
Yeah... Exploring lots of interesting things.
And yeah, so like, comment and subscribe
to stay up to date with what we're working on.
Yeah? Alright? We done? I never want to say that again.