It's been months.
I'm feeling like I don't have hope.
It's just been hard.
And then we don't talk about it.
Robbie's issues have definitely taken a toll on me.
I'm tired.
I'm mentally exhausted.
I'm disappointed, angry, frustrated, and just so tired.
I feel like I'm carrying the weight of our entire family.
Richard's been so stressed that he's not talking about it
and he's not dealing with it.
We both agree that Robbie needs more treatment.
And when he gets emotional, he just shuts down.
I just know that it's too much for you
so I don't make you talk about it
It still hurts me when I think about it.
It's been very hard for me to talk about it.
I haven't really spoken much about it since it happened.
I didn't know exactly how to handle the situation myself,
so I was struggling.
There's days where Richard so depressed
that he doesn't get out of bed.
For a long time,
I was the one participating in the family sessions
and that was extremely overwhelming.
I am the glue for the family,
and sometimes I don't have a rock to lean on,
or sometimes I feel alone,
which in turn makes me not talk about it.
I just hold things in.
I feel like I'm going through it by myself.
But you're gonna plug into this now, right?
Yes.
When I say this is something
that you can't just parent through,
I mean, there really is a huge neurological component
to this.
And that means that if you look at the brains of a pedophile
versus the brains of the general population,
they are distinctly different.
We don't know what's going on in his brain at this point.
This attitude that well you've been molested,
you're gonna be a molester,
that's easy to say
but there's just a whole hell of a lot more to it than that.
And to give up on this child at 15 is just absurd.
I just am not prepared to do that even almost.
I want to add someone to our conversation.
And this is Dr. Daniel Sanderson,
who is the clinical director
for Star Guides Wilderness Therapy,
which is a program that works exclusively with adolescents
experiencing compulsive sexual behavior problems.
So Dr. Sanderson, thank you so much for being here.
It's great to be here.
Thank you, Phil.
What do you hear going on with Robbie
that these parents need to understand?
I'm hearing a lot of things.
And it obviously it brings up a lot of questions
for me as well,
but I agree with you, Phil, when you're saying,
let's don't give up on this kid yet.
He's 15, okay?
I suspect that we're probably talking
about early developmental trauma here.
There are likely neurological pathways
that neurobiology has not yet actually been developed,
those pathways have not been developed,
and they haven't had a chance to be developed
because Robbie is stuck in this spot
where he needs that power and control.
That seems to be that amazing theme
that keeps coming through all of this.
That's the piece that needs to get disrupted.
And at the same time,
Robbie needs an opportunity
in an environment that can keep him away
from that part that's been hyper stimulating for him,
that will give him an ability to think with a clear brain,
to kind of get into a spot of sobriety,
which I don't think is happening
in his current treatment environment.
So obviously an out of door wilderness environment
would be perfect for that kind of a trial
to see if we can't get him in that spot
where we can disrupt this hyper-sexualized pattern
and also give him an opportunity
to begin developing a sense of himself
that's not just based on his sexuality.
The fact of the matter is if you follow their protocol,
the level at which these kids re-offend is surprisingly low
and they have agreed to take Robbie into their program
when he is discharged or sooner,
if we can get him out of there,
and I think this will be the first time
that he has actually clearly been properly diagnosed
and received very targeted treatment.
And we're gonna get this figured out once and for all
and see if we can't turn this young man's life around.
Thank you.
(audience applause)