I was 16 years old and born into a practicing, Catholic family.
On Saturday in January 1982, I was walking to church to attend mass.
I was very disappointed to not be allowed to go to a dance party with a friend.
I had just left her house, saying this prayer inwardly, 'Lord, you see what this sacrifice
is costing me, make it at least so that it’s not in vain!'
I crossed a bridge and came to an intersection, where I entered the crosswalk.
The last image I saw was the horrified face of the driver in the car.
Simultaneously, I heard a terrifying sound of brakes.
I told myself, 'I'm going to die!'
I flew over the vehicle, and was dragged under the wheels of the car behind that one.
At that moment, I saw the scene from above, in 360° spherical vision but without realizing
that this scene was about me.
I saw disturbed onlookers, a crowd, and heard the shouts and howls.
I was thinking, 'Why are they getting disturbed?'
Then I moved and saw my parents run up to the bridge.
I said to myself, 'Why is Mum in slippers?
She looks distraught; there's something bad going on.
Oh, hey, there's a wrecked car and some feet sticking out…”
Then I saw a young man I knew who was watching.
I was able to tell him afterwards that I knew he was there on that day and I acurately described
how he was dressed.
I was then suddenly sucked into a luminous tunnel.
I saw an immense light.
I moved toward the light, feeling intense Happiness and a fullness and peace I had never
known.
I felt my soul expand such the it felt like it encompassed the whole universe.
It was wonderful as I was bathed in universal love.
There were multitudes of people, but I couldn't see any faces.
Instead, I 'felt' them.
All my senses were heightened in an extraordinary way.
At that moment, I never wanted to go back or to leave this Happiness.
Then a magnificent lady, who was dressed in a luminous, white dress, was standing in front
of this great halo of light.
I was sucked into this light.
This woman was very beautiful, but above all because of the kindness that I saw in her
smile and the way she looked at me.
I knew I was loved.
I thought then that it was my grandmother who had passed away shortly before this experience.
She seemed to be fully listening to the person behind her whom I call 'the luminous star'.
I wanted to move forward, but she stopped me by waving me back.
It was a very painful rejection that stayed with me for several years.
I insisted, without using words, that I wanted to stay with her.
Words weren't necessary.
She listened to the luminous star who seemed to speak to her but I couldn't hear it.
Then she told me, 'You still have things to do on Earth; you must go back.'
At that moment, I saw, as in a kaleidoscope, a kind of flashback movie showing all the
moments of my life where I had not loved enough.
There were some very concrete situations, but I can't remember exactly.
What I remember is that all of those moments were like hot mud thrown in my face.
It was very painful, so I begged God to stop this torture.
I made a last prayer in what I thought was the Kingdom of the dead, 'If you save my life,
I promise to make up for all these moments and to love more.'
At that moment, I opened my eyes and saw the stretcher-bearers place me in the vacuum mattress.
I was dazed and didn't speak.
The police and firefighters yold me that I should have died under the circumstances.
They couldn't believe that I only had a few broken bones, bruises, and head trauma.
For two years, I had nightmares upon hearing the sound of the brakes.
But each time, like a reassuring hand, the memory of the lady soothed me.
Then I wrote a note to my mother who told me that from what I had written her, she thought
that I had seen not my grandmother but the Virgin Mary.
I couldn't tell anyone else, as I feared that I would be mocked, except I did tell my husband
ten years later.
This brief moment of a few seconds is unforgettable.
It helped me greatly in the following years to endure significantly painful ordeals.
I had another serious accident that resulted in multiple transplant operations and one
year of rehabilitation.
I experienced the loss of our first baby.
I had two acute pancreatitis attacks two years apart during the period of post-partum.
I had several hospitalizations in intensive care.
I have experienced five births and the departure of my grandfather, and then of my father.
Before this experience, my life was a black and white movie.
Afterwards, it was a movie in color.
Each encounter and the words of the gospel, took an unexpected meaning in light of this
experience.
My faith was strengthened.
I even thought I was called to religious life.
Then I met my husband who also had an intense inner life.
I understood that we would be judged on Love (as St John of the Cross says) and that our
life is only a trivial passage, but especially it is not real Life.
True Life is blissful eternity, but we can begin to live this eternity right now.
As I understood a few years later, it is no longer necessary to die to know or relive
this experience: by loving here on earth, we explore the Heaven of our soul and live
the communion of Saints in the anticipation of the Kingdom of God.
I was able to relive those brief moments in the slums of Calcutta in 1987-88.
I felt the sweetness of an extraordinary harmony among children who dying of hunger.
They understood what True Life really is.
I also relived this experience during certain Eucharistic communions.
Each Eucharist brings me closer to those who have left.
Finally, 7 years ago, during another experience of being comforted, while, discouraged, I
was driving my car.
These experiences, that for me are signs from Heaven, have strengthened my faith.
I am now 54 years old, a committed Catholic, mother of 5 children, ages 13 to 26.
I have a traveling companion in the form of a luminous being, the God of Life, who is
always with me.