Let's talk about the art of going off topic in English conversation.
I know that's a bit unusual. If, for example,
you've watched any of my previous lessons on conversations such as how to lead
a business meeting in English,
then you know I typically recommend that you avoid going off
topic. Quite often when someone goes off topic,
it can be perceived as disruptive,
indicate a lack of focus and even create confusion,
but life is full of surprises and sometimes a
sudden reminder or a spark of memory can lead us down a different
path in our conversations.
That means that knowing when and how to appropriately go off topic
is so important for your English conversations and your business meetings in
English. When the timing and relevance are just right,
it's perfectly okay to go off topic in a conversation.
In fact, when it's done right,
it can create depth and interest in a conversation.
It can also spark creativity in problem solving, for example.
So today that's what we're going to do.
I'm going to help you know exactly how and when to go off topic
the right way. We'll explore, for example,
how to interrupt and go off topic gracefully when you're in the moment of a
conversation and you just remember something or something pops up that you
can't ignore in order to avoid being perceived as disruptive or
rude.
It's all about the relevance and relatability of the off
topic interruption as well as the phrases that you use to do it.
We're going to explore all of that and more in this lesson today.
Now, before we go any further, if this is your first time here, welcome.
I am Annemarie, an English confidence and fluency coach.
Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
life and work in English.
If you'd love to discover years of lessons from me and free
resources such as my in-depth English fluency training called How to Get the
Confidence to Say What You Want,
you can find all of that and more over at my Speak Confident English website.
Alright, before we get started,
I want to give you a quick snapshot of everything we're going to discuss today.
First,
we'll talk about when it is appropriate to go off topic in a conversation
and what should you consider when you're evaluating whether that
particular time is the right time.
Then I'm going to briefly introduce you to four strategies English speakers
use are for formulas that they use when they're going to introduce
their off topic, topic and phrases you'll typically hear as well.
Once we've reviewed all of that,
I'm going to share four every day or real life scenarios with you that
illustrates each of these key components. So first,
when can you or should you go off topic,
it can be appropriate to interrupt and go off topic when for example,
a conversation has gone on far too long about one particular topic.
If for example,
you have an agenda for a meeting and the team has been stuck
on one particular issue for far too long,
you're nowhere near making a decision and you have other things you need to get
to that day, it might be a moment to interrupt,
go off topic and find a time to return to that particular issue later.
It may also be appropriate to go off topic if you're not interested in the
topic being discussed at the moment or if you're unfamiliar with the topic.
Perhaps you want to share something that you've just remembered or you want
to share something important before you forget.
If there is an awkward pause or silence in the conversation,
that also is a great opportunity to take the conversation in another direction.
And finally,
if your conversation has hit a dead end and it seems like there's nothing else
to say on that particular topic, again, it's a great time to switch.
If you are in any of those circumstances and you're considering an interruption
so that you can go off topic,
here are a few things to think about before you take the plunge to do it.
First,
consider whether the topic you want to change to is appropriate for that
particular individual and that particular environment. If for example,
you're chatting with coworkers at work,
it may not be an appropriate context to bring up the topic of politics.
For example,
a second consideration is whether the person speaking at that moment
is sharing something vulnerable or heartfelt. If so,
interrupting at that moment and aiming to take the conversation in another
direction would be viewed as insensitive and inconsiderate.
A third consideration is group expectations.
If for example, you're in a meeting or a class,
there may be specific goals for that group discussion and it may not be
appropriate to shift the entire conversation to a new topic. And finally,
the last consideration is maintaining balance.
If someone veers off topic too often,
it can result in others feeling unheard. With all of that in mind,
here are four strategies or approaches you can use when you're ready to
go off topic. First,
you could acknowledge the current speaker's thoughts and then introduce your
topic. Second,
you could apologize for the sudden shift and then introduce the topic.
Third, you could signal a change,
give a compliment to the speaker and then ask a related question.
And fourth, simply change the topic.
We're going to take a look at how to use each one of those in a real life
scenario in just a moment,
but first I want to share a quick tip with you and some common phrases we use to
help us introduce an off topic issue.
So that quick tip,
it is always best if possible to avoid directly
interrupting someone in the moment of speaking.
If you can try to wait for a natural pause in the conversation,
even if it's only two or three seconds long,
this is an ideal opportunity to interject and signal that you're going to
change to a new topic. If you cannot,
if you have to interrupt in the moment,
try to use body language first to indicate the interruption.
Body language could include leaning forward,
making eye contact or giving some kind of a hand signal to let someone know
that you're about to interrupt.
And now let's take a quick look at a few example phrases English speakers use
when they're ready to take the conversation onto another topic.
Now here I'm just going to introduce three or four phrases to you. However,
if you want a longer list,
you can visit this lesson at my Speak Confident English website where I've got
several more examples for you. So first,
a common phrase you could use is, I know this is a bit off topic, but,
and then introduce your question or comment or
sorry to cut you off, but I just remembered.
And then that key topic or issue that is important to mention
at this particular moment.
A third example and similar to remembering something in the moment is, oh,
by the way,
did I tell you about and then insert the story or information you
want to share. And the last option here is,
this is totally unrelated, but and again,
insert your comment or question,
let's put all of that together in four real world scenarios.
Each one is going to address one of those strategies or approaches we talked
about earlier. In the first scenario,
we're going to look at how we can acknowledge what was said and then go off
topic.
This strategy is particularly useful when an individual or a group of people
have been discussing a topic at length and they seem very interested in the
topic.
It's also useful when someone has been sharing something that is vulnerable or
heartfelt and you're not really sure if it's appropriate to go off topic.
In both of these circumstances,
it's always best to avoid directly interrupting a speaker and instead
wait until there's a natural pause in the conversation. At that moment,
you can acknowledge what has been said and then gently shift the direction of
the conversation.
I want you to imagine for a moment a friend of yours is experiencing some real
challenges at work and she's been highlighting these difficulties,
sharing her frustrations with you. After a while,
you may feel that you want to take the conversation into another direction and
lighten the mood. Here's how that might happen. First,
your friend might say, I used to love working there,
but with my current workload,
I just can't take the time to also train a new person.
I need to speak with my manager on Monday. After a brief moment of silence,
you might respond to your friend with this.
That's definitely frustrating and I think sharing that with your manager is the
right step. Let me know how it goes. Speaking of work,
did you hear about Jessica from middle school?
She joined my company as the new sales manager. In that example,
you've taken a moment to acknowledge what your friend has shared with you and
you've validated her frustration,
and then there were a few key words there. Speaking of work,
this is your connecting phrase.
It helps you make that transition from what your friend shared to the new topic
of conversation.
And now the second strategy or approach is to first apologize and
then go off topic.
This approach is best used when you do need to interrupt someone in the middle
of speaking. For example,
if something important pops up and you cannot ignore it,
or if you immediately remember something and you want to mention it
before you forget it. For this scenario,
I want you to imagine you're in a team meeting and on the agenda for that
meeting is some discussion about where everyone is towards some
specific annual goals.
While everyone is discussing that you in the moment,
remember an important task related to a new ad campaign that you've been working
on and you want to bring it up immediately before you forget,
here's what that might sound like.
A coworker might be in the middle of speaking with this.
I also think we can revisit the qualities and needs we envision in our target
customers. This will give us ideas for shifting our marketing and website copy.
And then you jump in. I'm sorry to cut you off,
but this reminded me of the new ad campaign our team is developing.
Could we please carve out some time in today's meeting to discuss that as well?
As you can see in this example,
there's a brief apology for the interruption and then the speaker
introduces the off topic issue. Now,
also important here is that rather than immediately jump into that other
topic,
they've simply asked for the opportunity to discuss that at some later
point in the meeting today.
Our third approach for going off topic is to first signal that you're going
to change the direction of the conversation,
then compliment what has been said previously and then
go ahead and move into the new topic of conversation.
This approach works well when if for example,
a particular topic of conversation has gone on for too long or if
you're not interested in a topic or feel that you don't know enough about a
topic to participate in the conversation. If that's the case,
then again you'll want to wait for a moment of silence before interrupting and
then follow this approach. Signal compliment go off topic.
We're going to take a look at two different scenarios for this one,
and in the first one I want you to imagine that you're at a networking event.
You've met someone new and they're telling you a bit about their background,
their area of expertise. However,
it's an area that you don't know very much about.
You don't feel well versed in that particular topic,
so when there's a brief pause in the conversation,
you might use it as an opportunity to address something they said earlier
and allow the conversation to go in another direction.
Here's what that would sound like.
Let's say that your acquaintance has just said this,
although it's important to emphasize a better user experience,
sometimes I prioritize the user interface,
good design can ultimately reduce potential problems,
and I love thinking about design options. Again,
you don't feel particularly familiar with this area,
so here's how you would go off topic. I know this is slightly off topic,
but could I ask you something?
While I'm not an expert on user experience like you are,
I appreciate your focus on design.
What designs do you find both aesthetically pleasing and practical?
I love anything minimalistic.
Do you see here how first we've signaled that we're going off topic,
then we've referred back to and complimented something that was said earlier
and allowed that to help us transition into a new focus of the conversation.
And now let's take a look at how we would use this same approach and a far more
casual event. For example,
maybe you're at someone's party and you've just met someone new in the
conversation,
they're doing a lot of talking about their kids and you don't have kids,
so you can't really relate to that topic of conversation.
You'd love to shift the focus to something else. Here's how you could do that.
First, let's imagine someone says, my kids love to watch.
If you could give a mouse a cookie, it's their favorite show,
and then you could respond with, sorry, this is totally unrelated,
but I love the dress you're wearing.
It reminds me of the one Keira Knightly wore in atonement.
Have you watched that movie again?
You can see here that we've started with that signal.
We're signaling that we want to take the conversation in another direction.
We've inserted a compliment and moved on to a new topic. Now,
the one thing I will say about this approach is the compliment you give,
whether it's professional or casual, must be genuine.
People know when you're saying something just to say it.
So if you're going to use this approach,
make sure that the compliment you want to give is a real compliment.
It's a genuine compliment.
And now the fourth and final approach is to simply change the topic.
This is always best when there is a natural lull,
a natural moment of pause in the conversation. For example,
maybe everyone says what they wanted to say and then it's just kind of quiet.
The topic maybe has come to a dead end.
That's the moment when you can simply insert something new.
We still have some connector phrases.
We always want to have a smooth transition from one thing to another,
and you'll see that in action. Here again,
we're gonna take a look at two different scenarios, and for this first one,
I want you to imagine that you're doing a bit of small talk with a fellow parent
at your child's school. You're both there to pick up your kids.
Some small talk has started and then there's a bit of an awkward silence.
Let's imagine this first, the other parent says,
we'll have to see how the year goes with this teacher. Like you said,
she seems rather nice,
and then there's kind of a weird long silence when that happens.
You could change the topic by saying, oh, in other news,
did you hear about the recall on those fruity yogurt packs?
My kids live on those. Luckily,
I found out about the recall just before my grocery run. Yesterday.
Here we used the phrase, oh,
in other news as a way to signal a shift in the topic.
And finally, here's one more scenario. In this case,
I want you to imagine that you're meeting with a client.
You've set aside a full hour for this discussion.
You're going over some paperwork during this one hour conversation.
You've gone over each particular section of the paperwork and you've reviewed
expectations as well.
You get to the end and realize you still have a full 10 minutes before your next
meeting. Here's what you might see happen first,
your client might say, okay, thank you. I understand now.
I appreciate you walking me through all of this and you might respond with
no problem. On that note, if there are no other questions,
please go ahead and sign page one and page three.
I'll provide you with a copy for your records via email.
In this particular context,
rather than shift to a new topic of conversation to fill that
last 10 minutes,
we've simply indicated the final steps of what is expected and signaled
that we're going to bring the conversation or the meeting to a close.
With that you have all the considerations you need of how and
when to appropriately go off topic in English,
ensuring that what you want to shift to is relevant and relatable.
If you found today's lesson helpful to you,
I would love to know and you can let me know in a few ways. Number one,
you can give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube and while you're at it,
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Number two,
you can share your questions and thoughts with me down in the comments below.
And finally,
you can head over to the Speak Confident English website where you'll find
lessons free resources and a fluency training for me called how to get
the confidence to Say What You Want in English.
Thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to seeing you next time.