Shane McMahon returned… and immediately tore his
quad! Ronda Rousey won a match… she barely even featured in!
And Cody Rhodes went from undesirable to un-god-damn-denia- ... oh actually turns
out he’s super deniable.He just got beaten by the usual Solo spike attack that everybody does
Turns out Night One used up all the good booking. I’m Oli Davis,
and this is my review of WrestleMania 39 Night Two forward slash b section 8… in about 10 minutes.
Make sure to subscribe and enable notifications to always on, as we’ve got a bunch of huge videos
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[SUPPORT WRESTLETALK] Night Two began with its version of Night One’s
John Cena vs Austin Theory: a highly paid top star doing a filler match at the start of the night so
they can beat the LA traffic and get home early. Because Brock Lesnar ain’t paid by the hour. He
beat Omos in under 5 minutes. And somehow those five minutes still managed to contain two separate
Bearhug spots. If you listen close enough, you can hear Vince McMahon heavy breathing.
Ah, the moustache makes it creepier. Oh no, no, not
a- Criticism of this being an actual WrestleMania
match that happened aside, Brock vs Omos was the best version of what it could be. Brock sold his
arse off, and him eventually hitting three German Suplexes and an F5 was genuinely impressive.
It’s saying something when Brock Lesnar appears to care more about a throwaway match than you.
But Ronda Rousey managed to give way fewer fs in the following WrestleMania Showcase
tag match. She is in negative fs territory. It had a few decent spots, but this was nowhere
near as good as the men’s Showcase the previous night. Partly because of some clunky in-ring work,
but mostly because of the finish. After avoiding any physical involvement for
the full 8 minutes - likely because of her arm injury - Ronda strolled in and made an already
stunned Shotzi tap in an arm bar. But wait, here’s Bobby Lashley,
winner of the ridiculously difficult to carry Andre the Memorial Royal Battle Giant trophy!
He’s going to get his WrestleMania match now, setting up a new feud. Maybe Jay White will debut!
Oh, that’s, we’re already moving on? Is Lashley still down there? Alright,
we’ve got to move on because we’ve got at least 15 minutes of video packages to play
before the Intercontinental Title match - sponsored by Titus O’Neil!
Why are you here? Titus commentary aside,
who added absolutely nothing, Gunther defending against Sheamus and Drew McIntyre
wasn’t just match of the night, or match of the weekend. It might be WWE’s match of the year.
These were three strike based Pokemon who spent the majority of the match throwing fists instead
of wrestling moves. It created a very different kind of triple threat, where the three way spots
are just designed around hitting each other more, rather than contrived double team moves.
With everyone’s chests covered in red welts from just five minutes in,
this felt unlike any other match physicality in the whole weekend, and one that was grounded in
character too. Sheamus seemingly had the title won at one point after hitting Gunther with a
Brogue Kick, but Drew pulled him out - prompting a hateful staredown, and five closing minutes of
everyone’s big moves. Claymore, kickout, powerbomb, kickout, Brogue Kick, kickout.
The crowd went crazier with every near fall. But Gunther has the kind of title run we’ve plenty
still left in the tank - you hear that Roman. He hit a top rope splash to break up Sheamus’ pin,
powerbombed Sheamus onto Drew, and then powerbombed Drew to retain. An excellent match.
I think Bianca Belair was the only wrestler with children in their entrance to win a match this
weekend. John Cena’s Make A Wish kids, he lost. Cody had his own kid and -1. He lost. But WWE
appear to be building a new WrestleMania streak for Bianca, and she retained against Asuka here.
It was a very decent match, telling the story of Asuka’s speed and technical
ability vs Belair’s raw power. Asuka gets a submission hold locked in, Belair powers
out of that and hits a variation on a slam. Running out of moves, Asuka went for the mist,
which Belair ducked in a very cool spot. Asuka got the arm bar in,
but Beliar picked her up for a KOD to retain. A fine match, and extending Bianca’s Mania
streak is the right move. But it’s one of the most matches that leaves me a bit
unenthusiastic because I can’t see where we go from here. Belair has been a one-dimensional,
invincible babyface for a year now. She needs some NXT call-ups to freshen up the division.
Then we got one of the most pre-Trips segments since he took over:
Shane McMahon shock answering Miz’s second open challenge, and then immediately tearing his quad.
The ever-present Miz and Snoop Dogg announced the night’s attendance figure of 81,395,
making a total weekend attendance of 1.89 billion, which led into Miz being angry
at Snoop for booking the Pat McAfee match the previous night. Well if you thought that was bad,
he should’ve replied, look who I’ve got this time! Shane comes out, a return nobody wanted,
dripping in sweat, already gassed from the five mile jog down the ramp in his promo, and he
went straight into the worst punches you’ve ever seen. This was not the WrestleMania Miz vs Shane
classic from WrestleMania 35. Where was MizDad? And just several moves into the first thing you
learn in wrestling training, a sequence called the international where you whip
someone into the ropes, drop down, get up, leapfrog, etc, Shane collapsed in a heap
because he tore his quad. This was embarrassing. Snoop and Miz, to their credit, then seamlessly
improvised a new finish - where Snoop decked Miz, hit a people’s elbow and got the pinfall win.
In lieu of Gangrel, The Pope’s Exorcist star Russel Crowe was part of the Hell in a Cell
presentation, cutting a video promo before the match. He’s an actual Hollywood star,
not a YouTuber or a football player or a rapper. Well done WWE. That’s actually Hollywood.
Presumably that meant they had no money left over for Gangrel, as Edge came out by himself. As did
The Demon Finn Balor, sans Judgement Day. This was a well done match, as they always
are with Edge. The spots were inventive, like trapping Finn in the corner with kendo sticks, and
an awesome Coup De Grace off the cage wall through a table. But this feud is so past its expiration
date, any storyline meat you would usually sink your teeth into had disintegrated into dust.
Finn’s Demon performance was also played a bit too goofy for my tastes, with pain not
affecting him and over the top gurning facials. I don’t know if that was always the case, and the
gimmick is out of date, or if that ridiculous loss to Reigns fatally damaged the character.
An unfortunate botch also undermined the zero-pain selling, when the match had to be paused as medics
tended to Finn’s busted open head from a ladder. Edge won, further undermining the Demon. But
hopefully that means this feud is now finally done.
We got the Hall of Fame class come out to stand on the stage. I really,
really wanted Dominic Mysterio to attack his dad. And with an hour left of the show, we got our
perfectly paced, all the time to breathe main event. It was an incredible, bigger than big time,
emotional, back and forth action filled journey… that ended up not really going anywhere.
It’s a bizarre experience, to enjoy 55 minutes of something,
thinking it’s some of the best wrestling storytelling you’ve seen in your lifetime,
for the final 30 seconds to sour your whole take. Cody’s entrance kissing Brandi, and holding his
daughter at ringside. Roman’s entrance beginning with a group of piano players.
Michael Cole’s epic commentary, running down Roman’s achievements, and a list of
all the names he’s slain during his title run. The heavyweight action moves of Roman catching
a Disaster Kick into a powerbomb. Cody backflipping Roman through
the announcer's table. A pedigree near fall. The Bloodline slowly being stripped away from
Roman as the Los Angeles sun is finally setting on his reign. The Usos nowhere to be seen after
their loss the previous night. Solo Sikoa ejected from ringside for interfering one too many times.
Going into big match, Heyman booked overdrive. CrossRhodes, kickout. Spear, kickout. Guillotine,
escape! The crowd into Cody at every spot, elevating the match with every move.
Then into big match, Roman booked overdrive. Ref bump! Usos interference. But they’re beaten up
by Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, who give Roman a Stunner and Helluva Kick for good measure. The
sins of the Bloodline’s cheating past is finally catching up with them. Every element of this vast,
interconnecting story entwining at the end for its climactic payoff.
Cody hits the CrossRhodes. He holds on for another. But Heyman distracts the ref,
Solo Sikoa appears to hit a spike, and Roman wins and retains with a spear.
And just like that, in twenty or so seconds, the very reason everything else was so good,
not just in this match, but the years of storyline, the mega hot local babyfaces
that have been sacrificed on the alter of Reigns on the way, Drew McIntyre in Britain,
Sami Zayn in Canada. Sacrifices we accepted because we recognised it
was part of a grander tale: of Cody winning the belt his father never held. Was dashed.
I was in shock. I still kind of am. There’s part of me that feels Snoop Dogg is still
going to come out and restart the match for the appropriate Dusty finish, Cody actually wins.
Roman is still the champion. That story we were all onboard with, of the crumbling of
the Bloodline, wasn’t actually the story at all. And if you’re going to swerve away from
the narratively satisfying resolution, Triple H, who said in the post-show media call that
‘we can’t end stories because the story never ends in WWE’ - then book it much better. Having Sikoa,
who was already ejected from ringside, cost Cody the match is a weak, overdone, already seen it,
lazy angle. The booking of the finish, in both the result and how it happened, was
significantly beneath the recent quality of WWE. Roman should have lost. And if he didn’t,
it should’ve been in a far more interesting way. This is the worst pay-per-view of the Triple H
era. WrestleMania 39 Night Two is 71%. And on top of that, my head still hurts
where Pete pulled that hair out! I wonder what happened to it…