Luxurious taste meets cutting edge technology.
But just how much is this smart home worth?
Find out with Bikini Bottom Dream Homes.
Sleek and sculptural,
bold and brash,
122 Conch Street is a striking celebration of architectural style.
What you have done here harkens back to the illustrious,
post primitive movement, popularized by famous designer, Saul Limpkins.
The home is a dream for those with artistic sensibilities.
Step through the imposing entryway
and you’ll find yourself in a sweeping, open concept, great room.
A free flowing space combining foyer,
living room, gourmet kitchen and formal dining room.
Handmade bamboo, Rococo furnishings befit Sunday pampering,
brunching on Bon-Bons,
and reclining in one of the tasteful chaise lounge.
Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips?
Furnished for both comfort and style,
the space also boasts a brand new entertainment unit.
Straight out of the box.
- Huh? - Easy.
[grunting]
[crashing]
- Yeah! - Woohoo!
The living room flows directly into the sleek gourmet kitchen.
With wrap around counters and updated appliances,
it's ideal for the home chef with a taste for haute cuisine.
[sniffing]
Ah!
And a roomy bamboo refrigerator plays host to imported cheeses
and other culinary fancies.
[screaming]
[gasping]
Sweet Neptune! Imported cheese!
The richly appointed dining space
provides a grand setting for any gourmand.
Oh! Congratulations, Chef!
Ascending the modern, minimalist, staircase,
brings us to the deluxe master suite.
The stately impressive bed and the calming indigo color scheme
create a restorative ambience so restful, you could sleep for a hundred years.
I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so.
The bedroom features a walk-in closet for storing necessities
like hundreds of alarm clocks.
[smashing]
[screaming]
The en suite, master bathroom spares no luxury.
A spacious soaking tub, the ultimate in relaxation, anchors the room.
[screaming]
[panting]
Rounding out the second floor is a sumptuous study
with plush furnishings and a unique marked taxidermy sculpture.
The breathtaking fireplace turns this into a sublime spot
for a piping-hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge.
Warm fire, cozy slippers and a piping-hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge.
Why do I even bother?
Take the private elevator to the top floor
and you’ll find that the attic has been converted to a stunning art studio.
Recalling the Renaissance masters workshops of old,
the atelier to Squidward boasts soaring exposed beam ceilings.
Impeccable acoustics means this rotunda of the arts is ideal
for spontaneous concerts for adoring fans.
[music playing]
- Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! - Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
I rock.
[music playing]
Bathed in sunlight, the studio provides perfect artist light.
And the walls are bedecked with original pieces
from a great master of every medium.
And now that I have been immortalized in wax,
I have conquered all artistic medium.
In fact, nearly every surface in this design-forward home
is adorned with works of great merit and importance.
How’s this, Squidward?
It’s beautiful!
And the dedicated studio space isn’t the only over-the-top amenity
Despite its historic stylings, it’s the very definition of a smart home.
In addition to a fax machine...
Hi, Squidward.
This property has a fully formed intelligence of its own.
And don’t let the stony facade fool you.
It has plenty of personality.
[screaming]
This ocean floor manor offers the best of both city and country living.
At a fraction of an acre, the palatial property provides
plenty of space for gardening, sunbathing and blowing bubbles.
Bring it around town.
[screaming]
And as for the neighbors, they’ve established a thriving,
exclusive social scene on Conch Street.
Sorry Squidward, but you couldn’t get in even if you tried.
Previously featured on House Fancy with Nicholas Withers,
this artist dream home, ushered in a new era of house fanciness.
Squidward will be crowned House Fancy Prince of the Year!
Without the art this home is appraised at 2.1 million dollars.
Including the impressive art collection however,
brings its value to a whopping $450,000
But either way the current owner just can’t seem to part with it.
I wouldn’t sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth!
Wait!
- Don’t! - Go!
Ah!
Don’t! No, no!
No!
Please sell my house!
Never!