One of the most important conversations that shaped the way I approach deepening relationships
and also presenting, especially with remote work setups, happened with CEO mentor Darren
Hardy.
He’s the author of a terrific book - The Compound Effect.
He’s also the former publisher of SUCCESS magazine so he’s interviewed some of the
biggest names and leaders in the world.
As a speaker and interviewer, I’ve always been interested in what it takes to earn someone’s
trust and connect, instead of just communicating.
So I asked him point blank - Darren what’s your secret?
What is your secret to getting people to trust you enough to open up and share what’s really
going on.
He said two words that still resonate with me to this day - GO FIRST.
Go first.
Tell me more about that.
He said if you want to motivate someone to take action, go first and find out motivates
them and help them achieve that.
If you want someone to be vulnerable, go first and reveal something raw about yourself.
You could even consider our hybrid work setups where new employees are onboarded remotely,
haven’t met anyone in person and feel awkward and anxious.
If you’re the leader presenting in the meeting, go first and talk about the struggles you
had when you first started.
Then you begin to create a safe space where people are open to sharing what they’re
really thinking and feeling.
Every time we meet someone for the first time, the common question we ask ourselves is - Can
I trust you?
Trust isn’t something you get, it’s something you earn.
Some of the common barriers to trust include - Ambiguous communication, Lack of intentional
feedback or gratitude appreciating those around us.
Building trust will not only help you deepen relationships, but also will have your audience
listening to your message and doing something with it.
And we will share some key ideas for you to build trust here.
I’m Riaz, Welcome to the channel that helps leaders, coaches and experts connect with
confidence every time you speak.
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impact and make you a magnetic presenter.
Every time we speak we have an opportunity to connect with and persuade our audience
to think differently.
How can you speak in a way that builds more trust?
Recognize Trust is the compound effect of consistency
Consider the feedback you give your team.
Are you consistently providing motivating praise and constructive criticism.
IF you do this regularly, the person on the other side knows you care about them and their
growth.
It eliminates the guessing game where they may be asking themselves ‘how am I doing
here?’
Consistency with your feedback is helpful and consistency with asking for their input
is equally as valuable.
People want to feel like their ideas matter - so sessions inviting others to get creative
with brainstorming are important to keep them engaged.
Consistency with your accessibility is also key.
If something needs to be addressed, if your team knows you’re available, they’ll feel
a stronger sense of inclusion and belonging knowing that they have a champion to acknowledge
their ideas, thoughts and concerns.
Brainstorm for Questions, Not Answers People want to feel as if they’re not alone
with their current struggle or challenge.
A great way to create a safe space when leading your meetings or presenting, is to brainstorm
for questions not answers.
This ignites curiosity with your group or audience, without them having to lose face
by stating the wrong answer.
For example, if you were about to launch a product or project, invite people to provide
ONLY questions about the task at hand - When is the best time to launch?
What should we include?
Who should be using this?
And when you do this type of brainstorm, bring in someone from a different department, but
with the same goals as you as they don’t fear judgement from others on your team.
They are there to make you think differently.
Once more people start contributing, you’ve created a safe space for them to contribute
their curiosity and people will begin to trust their ideas will be heard.
Connect Emotion with Your Content If you’re presenting your experiences in
meetings or on stage as a speaker….Ask yourself, does my emotional tone match the intensity
of the experience.
This contrast is crucial.
For example, if you’re sharing a heartbreaking story of losing a loved one and are too worried
about how you come across and end up simply communicating words without any emotion, your
audience will start questioning if they can trust you, as your emotional intensity isn’t
congruent with the words you are sharing.
Stay in the moment and give them your full presence.
Ask for feedback We all became broadcasters in the pandemic.
Virtual communication isn’t a fad, it is now an accepted mode of communication.
If we want to build trust when we present, it’s on us to watch our playback, ask for
feedback and learn how our messages are landing.
For example, asking questions like: What worked and what missed the mark with my delivery?
What did it feel like to hear this message?
What could I have done to present more effectively?
are all questions that will help you become a stronger presenter.
Leading with this humility will also show others your intention to serve with your message
is authentic.
There are plenty of videos for you on this channel to help present with confidence in
person and virtually..
Strong communication and healthy cultures are built on transparency and trust.
Having productive disagreements and conflict is important to create breakthroughs.
It takes thoughtfulness, courage and planning.
If trust is built, those difficult conversations will become easier because people know you
care.
It will transform conflict into collaboration and your relationships will be better for
it.
What helps you build trust and relationships when you speak?
Share your ideas in the comments below.
For more ideas on presenting and meaningful human connection, you can download the free
guide - the 5 secrets to making every conversation count, that link is in the description.
If you are looking to level up your presenting skills and connect with confidence every time
you speak, apply for The Magnetic Presenter program that helps transform you and your
ideas into powerful presentations that elevate your impact and influence.
Thanks for watching this video - if you want to ace the guest intro to or conquer your
speaking anxiety, check out these videos.
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We will see you in the next video.