Carpa Momenti will make all the difference in your relationships.
In this episode, I'm going to address. How to seize the moment rather than
seize the day? Get ready, you're going to be blown away with some insights in this episode.
So, my name's Doug Andrew and I've been helping people optimize assets, minimize
taxes, with their financial dimension for more than 48 years now. But during that
wonderful career most people engaged with me because I sort of looked at the broader picture.
Even though they came to me through the financial dimension so that they could accumulate money for
retirement, long-term goals, not outlive their money. and I help them do that. They love the way that I
talked about the big picture what I call the three-dimensional approach to authentic wealth.
That money is just one leg of a three-legged stool. A lot of people wobble on just one leg it's money
money money and sometimes they regret it down the road because maybe they accumulated their
financial wealth at the expense of their health and then later in life they're spending all their
wealth trying to regain their health. Which was really silly or they accumulated their financial
wealth in the expensive relationships with their spouse, their kids, their grandkids, their God,
and at the end of the day, they're saying, "What was all that for? I have three million dollars but
I don't have anybody to leave it to. What was that all for?", and they realized that they were wobbling
on just one leg they were bankrupt in other areas. So, I like to take the wobble out of people's life
and balance. So, in this particular episode, I'm addressing two of the other legs of the stool.
I call them foundational and intellectual dimensions and this is your relationships, your beliefs, your
values, your heritage, your unique abilities and talents. The intellectual assets would be your
knowledge, your education, reputation, systems, methods, traditions, alliances, ideas, and skills.
So, these are the three dimensions and this episode talks about moments that matter.
I have other episodes that explain what I mean by moments that matter because every one of us have
moments that matter on a daily basis. Sometimes a dozen or two sometimes a hundred or two hundred.
Some are planned moments others are anticipated but some are unexpected. You don't even see
them coming. But it's how you handle these key moments that makes all the difference.
Instead of getting into this mindless reaction state entrenched in your way. I have an episode
that talks about how to notice a moment that matters when a child interrupts you or your
spouse asks you a question for the third time or whatever and then pause for an instant to arouse
curiosity and then lean into what's possible and then choose your response instead of just, "Hey, how
many times have I told you not to interrupt me? I've told you the answer to that a dozen times",
and you know usually exaggerate. Now, life is not enjoyable when you handle key moments in a
mindless reaction state entrenching yourself. When you begin to recognize moments that matter and
seize them then you will begin to see all kinds of opportunities. We hear this saying, Carpa Diem.
Which means seize the day. Well, I started out this episode by saying, "Well, I would rather
have Carpe Momente, seize the moment especially when we're talking about moments that matter. So,
I encourage you to watch the other episodes that are related to this on this channel
but Carpe Diem means seize the day we hear that all the time and sometimes I have Carpe Diem's
where I write down the three moments that I want to remember about today. The three accomplishments
the positive things what have you. Focus on the wins for the day, that's very powerful. But it's
actually moments that matter and so the term would be a Carpe Momenti which means seize
the moment. Because these moments are really the things that you're seizing instead of the entire
day most of the time, okay. Is this making sense? So, as we go through this many times in our family my
wife and I, we would gather our six children together at night before they went to bed
and these were moments that mattered and maybe before having family prayer or when we're eating
dinner. We would go around and ask questions and find out what moments mattered in our children's
lives. Now, that we're grandparents we do this with grandkids and sometimes as empty nesters
I lean over it and in bed and ask my wife. "So, what were three moments that mattered? What were
three wins for you today?", and then she always asked "Well, what were your three greatest wins for today?".
It's awesome. So, you know, what's the most exciting thing that happened today and all the kids share a
moment that was most exciting for them. Watch what happens when you do this. Another one is what's
the funniest thing that happened today? Oh, your kids will tell you something funny or whatever
but you have to ask the question and you will have conversation at the dinner table instead of your
kids all being on their devices. You know, we check the devices in the technology drawer. When we go on
a vacation or our grandpa's camp they leave their technology home we're there to communicate, okay.
But these are the kinds of questions to sort of focus on moments that mattered during the day and
it just gets them going, it gets the juices flowing. So, you take 45 seconds to recall and reflect and
then you share what you learn. So, this is a sort of extracted learning is what we call this. I got this
idea from dr Robert Cooper he's a neuroscientist. He studies the brain and how the brain works?
So, if this is already resonating with you be sure and share this with somebody who you think
would benefit from watching this episode and I'm not done yet stay with me to the end. But
click like, post a comment. But most importantly, I invite you to subscribe to this channel. Now,
you click on the link to subscribe it's free and then click the little bell. Why? Because then you'll
be notified every time I post a new episode which I do at least five days a week on the average
22 episodes a month. I don't want you to miss out. So, I invite you to do that but stay with me here a
few more moments that will matter and I'm going to gift you a copy of one of my books that will help
you understand this even deeper. So, let me connect a few dots here. If you recognize the moments that
you missed you don't beat yourself up but you've got to recognize moments you missed where,
"Oh golly, when wisdom called I let it go to voicemail", when that student came up and asked me a question.
When that client asked me this I was in such a hurry because I was late for my next appointment.
I didn't really understand their question and I just gave them a canned answer and moved on.
Whatever it is you got to recognize the ones you missed but don't beat yourself up.
Don't ruminate but begin to recognize those, okay? Now, the biggest thing I want you to do is focus
on what happened in the moments that you did seize and notice the positivity and how your brain felt
when you were winning, you were engaged, you were uplifting other people, and the only way you could
lift others up is to be on higher ground, and you have to mentally be able to do that. This is called
extracted learning and it helps you develop the skill to recognize moments that matter. Notice them,
pause, lean into what's possible, and then choose your response and become better. As a listener,
a spouse, a partner, a doctor, a dentist, a realtor. Whatever you do, whatever hat you're wearing.
A scout leader, civic leader, a church leader, whatever you're doing. So, here is my advice.
Whatever is happening in the moment is real and what I'm talking about is you've got to get off
of the would'a, should'a, could'a. So, many people beat themselves up on the would'a, I should have done
this, I could have done that. Get off of that and focus on what you did do. Empower your children
to not beat themselves up on what they didn't do or what they could have done or should have done
or could have done and get off of that and focus on what you did do. So, we go around the kitchen
table, we go around the family circle at night, and we would say, what did you do? What are three
wins? What went right today? Instead of focusing on what went wrong or how the teacher didn't
call on you or how you got bullied or whatever. So, talk about what went right? How you were were
befriending a new student in school and they were all alone at lunch or whatever.
Focus on what you did do. This is called getting on a win streak in another episode where I talk about
get on a win streak. So, be sure and search that out. So folks, these are moments that matter and it's
critical that we train our brains to recognize them and pause lean into what's possible and
then become better parents, business leaders, doctors, dentists, realtors, CPAs, whatever you do.
Now, here's how you can claim your free copy of the book that I mentioned that will empower you.
So, this is the tenth book that I have released out of 12 and it's one of my favorite it's called
Entitlement Abolition. How to abolish entitlement mindset and you think, "Well, what does that have to
do with moments that matter?", everything. You'll learn why in this book. Now it retails for $20.
I don't invite you to buy or you know I'm not here trying to sell you a book. I want to gift
you this. So, to claim your free copy of this 200 page book simply go to entitlementabolitionbook.com
or click on the link below and you contribute a nominal amount towards the shipping
and handling. I require a little bit of skin in the game so you'll read it and I cover the rest
of that expense and I pay for the book. I will fire out a hard copy to you it's 200 pages 12 chapters.
It's really a life-changing book. Now, folks, there's options when you're in there if you like
to watch and learn, listen and learn. There's even an 18-hour master class that I recorded.
If you want to do a deep dive and there's also other events that we do on a monthly basis if
you can't come to a live one attend a virtual one. But this is my passion and purpose to empower you
and uplift you because this is a moment that matters for your brighter future.