[electronic holiday music]
[fizz, sip]
Aahhh!
Do you like Sonic the Hedgehog?
Do you like Christmas?
Well, combine the two together and you have Christmas Sonic,
one crazy, awesome, super-charged, Christmas game of amazing.
Too bad it doesn't exist.
But you're in luck. What does exist
is a Sonic the Hedgehog-inspired series
on the PC for DOS,
Jazz Jackrabbit.
Specifically for this review, there exists
Jazz Jackrabbit: Holiday Hare 1995.
In case you don't know, Jazz Jackrabbit was an extremely popular shareware title
from the early '90s made by Epic MegaGames,
now known as simply Epic Games.
the creators of Gears of War and the Unreal series.
As far as this particular game goes,
it's worth noting there are actually two Holiday Hare games for the original Jazz series.
One from 1994
and one from 1995.
We'll be looking at the 1995 game here.
In Jazz Jackrabbit: Holiday Hare, you play Jazz,
the same green hero from the original game.
This time around, though, you go to different Christmas-themed planets
on your quest.
The game does play a lot like Sonic,
except you have a life bar and carrots instead of rings,
as well as a gun with varying ammo
instead of jumping and spin attacks.
Oh, and here's where it gets hard. I don't even know where to start.
I love the Jazz games so freaking much, it pains me to review one.
I really hate reviewing my favorite games
because I basically find them completely flawless and godlike.
And think that anyone would think the same thing
as soon as they play them for even a second.
While that may or may not be the case for you,
keep in mind that the Jazz games are considered
some of the best on the PC for a reason.
They're highly-polished, awesomely fun, well-made games
and Holiday Hare is no exception.
There are two worlds in the games instead of the normal three,
Candion and Bloxonius,
with two levels each and a secret bonus stage that you can find.
You start off in a wintery candy world,
collecting more powerful weapons, vaporizing enemies,
generally speeding your way through the traps and wild landscapes.
It is essentially the same game as the original Jazz Jackrabbit,
but with a Christmas theme.
The music is really one of the best parts of this game
and the other Holiday Hare game.
It has some really catchy, hip, cool tunes.
The chilling rendition of "Carol of the Bells," in particular.
[synth version of "Carol of the Bells"]
And as a kid, I absolutely loved the soundtrack to Jazz Jackrabbit.
So when I found this Christmas version on AOL back in the day,
I played it over and over,
mostly just to hear the music.
The gameplay itself is, of course, amazing.
It's pure platforming goodness, much in the vein of Sonic
as I've said a hundred times already.
And back in the day,
not having a Genesis,
this was great for me.
And not having any Christmas Sonic games for my friends to shove in my face
every chance they got, it was good to have a special holiday game
so that I could shove a game in their face for once.
Unfortunately, the new stuff pretty much ends at the levels and enemies.
There are no new weapons,
but the old classics are still there and still effective as ever.
The enemies themselves are new
and unique replacements for the turtles of the original game,
like the red rodents hopped up on candy.
And it really is as good as you could hope for.
There are still possibilities
for plenty of cheap shots due to strange enemy movement
and awkward placements of certain platforms.
Especially on higher difficulty, this game gets really hard.
But this is nothing new and that's just sort of part of the series.
I really, really like the Lego levels at the end of the game.
I especially like the little, tiny Lego men that you can shoot the heads off of.
To me, these are some of the most memorable levels I can think of in a platform game.
Instantly come to mind when I think of Holiday Hare.
The levels in the 1994 version are quite cool as well,
but I just like 1995 better
since it was the one I played the most when I was younger.
Playing them both back to back will give you maybe 25 to 30 minutes of gameplay, so
it's short,
but it's freeware, so what do you expect?
Look, if at this point you aren't convinced
that this is just about the best Christmas game ever,
you have no hope
and possibly no soul.
Jazz Jackrabbit is wholesome, silly fun
in a great '90s wild platforming style, so
if you have even a passing interest in these types of games,
check out Jazz Jackrabbit
and the Holiday Hare games.
You will not be disappointed.
JAZZ: "OW!"