- Hello, lovely people!
I'm Jessica, and you should subscribe
to this channel because reasons.
(dinging)
So this weekend, I have felt disgusting!
I've been really ill with a migraine
and thus spent long days in bed being gross and sweaty.
And, often when you are hit with the black cloud
of chronic migraine, sitting up is hard enough,
I mean, actually getting out of bed,
and having a bath, and putting on clothes,
is, it's not gonna happen.
So, but when I don't have nice hair and red lipstick
I just don't feel like me.
And, as you can tell from the title,
I decided that the only obvious course of action
is to give myself a makeover.
(chimes)
A vintage Barbie makeover!
(pops)
Not that kind of Barbie.
(pop)
Okay, no, really not that kind of Barbie.
(pop)
Still no. (pop)
Slightly closer?
(pop)
There we are.
Original Barbie first made her debut in 1959,
and thus celebrates her 60th birthday this year.
(cheers)
And she has done some amazing things in those years.
I'm completely skipping over the wow, pink,
the only thing little girls want
is to be pretty, obsession bit.
My mother was never a fan of heavily gendered toys
so I was only allowed Barbies if they were
a present for someone else, and I always make
one of my Barbies a cute tomboy who kissed the girly one,
who wore pink but was also the CEO of the world,
so teach your kids that girls can be anything
and they'll teach their toys the same.
This year is also pretty special,
because Barbie have released a doll
who uses a wheelchair as part of
their Barbie Fashionista line, which considering
many people still believe that disabled people
can't be fashionable, is really quite a big deal.
Mattel did previously release a Becky with a wheelchair
and whilst I really appreciate that being
the school photographer is her main selling point
and not so much the wheelchair, the poor girl
couldn't even fit into the Barbie dream house.
Her chunky chair, ugh.
The new Barbie comes with a ramp and a much cooler chair.
So I'm going to blend the newest Barbie
and the oldest Barbie for today's celebratory makeover
and we're going to start with my nails,
because they're terrible.
(whoosh)
Barbie has a very cute little bouncy ponytail
and curly bangs, and I don't have any type of fringe,
obviously, so we're going to have to fake one.
See you in the morning!
(snaps)
Let's see how my hair turned out.
Please ignore the fact that it is red.
Original Barbies actually only came with blonde
and brunette versions, and then redheads only came
in the early 2000s I think, with the Radiant
Redhead Barbie, but excitingly, redheads now come
in all different body shapes and colors,
which is more than can be said for the emojis.
Why is the redhead emoji just one thing?
Why can't she be a bride, why can't she
be a doctor or a princess or anything she wants to be?
No, being a redhead is all she is.
Oh, oh, oh.
All right, I think we're getting our nice little curls
that I wanted, delightful.
Alrighty, I haven't yet decided whether I'm gonna
brush these out.
So clearly slept in this.
It's fine.
Okay, I am gonna give this a little bit of a brush,
but only in the ponytail itself,
not its individual parts.
I don't really want to break these curls up.
Right, you know what this is missing?
Hairspray.
You know what I don't have in this room?
Hairspray?
You know what I can't spray when I've got my hearing aid in?
Hairspray.
Okay, let's make a fringe.
I really hope this has worked out.
Let's see.
Want to make sure we get this as curly as possible.
Yeah, I think that's a pretty good ringlet right there.
(upbeat rock music)
Yeah.
Ping.
Oh, oh delightful.
So good.
Oh, I could be a Victorian.
Never understood that hairstyle.
What were they thinking?
Anyway, we're gonna create the next bit
using some pins.
First off, just gonna brush the top here.
So that they can move together as one piece
rather looking too much like I rolled them separately.
So what I'm gonna do is on the first curl
I'm going to pin all together
and then separate them out from there, so,
split in two.
(rock music)
Beautiful.
Barbie's makeup has changed a lot over the years,
as have her eyes.
You'll note she's not even looking towards the front.
She didn't do that for two years
until after she was released.
She's got a little coy sideways glance there.
I'm kind of terrified of her blue eyeshadow,
can't lie, don't normally wear any kind of color up here
around the eyes, so that's gonna be new.
But you know what?
I'm going with it.
This is going to happen.
First, let's just pale all this skin out though.
I decided to use this completely new primer tester thing
that I just got given the other day,
because obviously a video is the best time
to decide to use something new.
It's yellow.
To be honest though, I'm pretty much
just playing dress up right now, so even if
it goes terribly wrong, it doesn't really matter
because I've still had my fun.
It's probably looking at makeup all the time,
rather than wanting to get it perfect and looking good,
like we're really just face painting.
Besides, no one else knows what you intended it to look like
so if you wanted to say that that was the effect
that you were going for, this patchy skin, well,
I intended that.
The whole oily forehead?
Yeah, yeah, I wanted that look.
It's dewy.
My eyebrows are two completely different shapes and colors?
Oh, I like that look.
(rock music)
Now for the bit I'm slightly scared of, the eyebrows.
Have you seen this girl's eyebrows?
They are worse than mine,
although she, she's got quite a look working for her,
so maybe my incredibly arched mini brows
will be good for once.
Well there we go, I guess one good thing about
a complete lack of brows is that you can really
make any shape you want.
That's not me advising you to shave off your eyebrows
or do anything like that, truly.
I mean mine just fell out naturally and anyone
who's got big eyebrows, I'm just so jealous.
I'm talking about eyebrows so much
because I'm really trying to put off the blue eyeshadow
but I guess it's happening now.
(rock music)
Well it's certainly blue, I'll tell you that for nothing.
Okay, yeah, hmm, ha-ha, okay.
Let's put put some eyeliner on,
maybe that will do something.
(rock music)
Okay, we have some beautiful blue lids,
but you may notice my face is white,
although be honest, Barbie is the queen of white,
is she not?
So let's add a little powder, some rouge.
(rock music)
All right, now to create some adorable little Barbie lips.
Yeah, I mean she has a big lip, way, way larger
than her bottom lip, so, I'm gonna work with that.
(rock music)
Well, I'm definitely getting some strong I Love Lucy vibes
but I don't hate it.
How do you think we measure up?
Adorable.
She didn't actually smile for a few more years, I'm afraid.
We tend to think of Barbie in terms of makeup and fashion,
but she's actually had about 150 careers at this point.
She's been a surgeon, a firefighter,
a paleontologist, a medic, a ballerina,
a nurse, a rockstar, and a dentist.
She also went to the moon before Neil Armstrong
and returned two more times, plus she has run for president
six times now.
You think she'd take a hint.
How do we feel about this makeup, how do we feel?
I'm not, I'm not sure how I feel,
but I believe in you Barbie, so let's go
put on some clothes.
So, original Barbie is not the most modest of ladies.
I see that coy look, young lady.
I know what you're working.
However, she did go on to have some rather nice outfits,
and I've always been a bit jealous.
Thankfully though, Unique Vintage
make vintage Barbie clothes in human size.
Meet this, the Barbie blue and white shopper.
(sighs)
You know, this dress is so pretty, it actually lulls me
into the idea, it's okay, still warm enough
to go outside with my shoulders uncovered.
(whoosh)
Oh my god, it is not warm enough.
I take it all back!
(old-time music)
So this is obviously the perfect dress for a sunny day,
and a sunny personality.
Okay, this one though, Fashion Luncheon Barbie, ooh.
This is the outfit that I like to wear to meetings.
And if anyone tells you that girls can't wear pink
whilst taking over the world, please remind them
that pink is originally a boy's color,
and the entire idea of gender hierarchy
is a social construct.
(old-time music)
Barbie's creator said that she wanted the dolls
to teach young girls there are no limits
to what they can be when they grow up.
(clears throat)
Okay, she's been a little controversial over the years.
Teen Talk Barbie caused a stir in 1992
when she blurted out lines like "can we ever
"have enough clothes" and "math class is tough."
Oh, honey, no.
Don't panic though, she has now moved into STEM.
She can code and she became a robotic engineer
along with her friends.
She also explores the world for National Geographic
which may possibly be my wife's dream job.
Speaking of which, next outfit, Varsity Barbie.
(old-time music)
Might not have an M for Mattel
but it's still pretty adorable.
You know, when I was a teenager, I wanted more than anything
to be a cheerleader, 'cause I felt really alone
and American teen movies are incredibly persuasive.
And finally, classy 1960s-style red flare swing coat!
(old-time music)
Good boy!
Oh, don't worry, my butler will get it.
And if you like your Barbie outfits
a little less WASP-y, you'll find that this gorgeous
pink fluff from Hell Bunny is just the ticket,
so much so that to celebrate hitting 600,000 subscribers,
I'm going to be giving it away to a lucky commenter.
All you have to do is write "pick me, Barbie"
along with your Instagram tag, in the comments below.
Make sure you're following me on Instagram
and I'll DM the winner on there, good luck.
Ah, Barbie is a stylish lady,
and she's still incredibly popular.
Two and a half more Barbies are sold every year
than babies born in the United States.
They're actually sold every three seconds,
and with the number of different outfits she wears,
Mattel is now one of the biggest clothing manufacturers
in the world.
Just some fun facts for your day.
Thank you for joining me in celebrating
my 600,000 subscribers and also just cheering myself up.
Happiness abounds.
Maybe it's even given you some inspiration
for this year's Halloween look.
If you want more joy in your life,
you should hit the subscribe button below,
and consider using the join button
to become a member of the Kellgren-Fozard Club,
and maybe even pick up some of my merch,
I mean it's not actually Barbie-related
but it's still adorable.
See you in my next video!
(old-time music)