Right you lot
I really wish this was clickbait...
it's not
Shoutout BG Media though
Westy and all that, yeah?
♪ Westy, is that you yeah? ♪
♪ What's this? A bunch of wet pricks...
♪ Sorry, I mean wet flannels
♪ Faking your beef with a bullshit diss
♪ Tryna keep up with my second channel
♪ We can move on to ChrisMD
♪ I see that you love that quiff
♪ Only problem that I can see
♪ Is that little man's like... 5 foot 6?
Right, I'm starting to vlog
So before I even say anything about this, right
I wanna say we're still gonna be chatting shit about other people every single week
That's not gonna change. Like, I realise I've got you lot from like uh... bullying kids and all
♪ Tobi you've stayed quiet
♪ To be honest I can't knock it
♪ I would probably do the same
♪ 6 foot deep in my back pocket
♪ Memeulous! I didn't wanna cuss you
(I did)
♪ But this ain't an idle threat
♪ We can all see what you've just done
♪ Stole This Week On The Internet
So I'm not going to stop that right, like I genuinely love making that content
That's the content are meant to be making, if you get what I mean
But I've just been thinking recently if all I ever put on YouTube
Is just me sat on my computer or standing up next to my window chatting shit about what other people have done
Is not not a bit dead?
I don't even have the popcorn or the beard
♪ To the burnt chip
♪ You're a hurt prick
♪ Real talk you look like 11
♪ How were you born in '94, yet you still look like you've came from Year 7?
So yes, I want to start a vlog right,
and I don't want to be doing like 20 minute daily vlogs of just stuff that I do in my day
I realise none of you want to see that
What I wanna do is more 4 or 5 minute vlogs, maybe twice or three times a week
Probably twice, we know what I'm like
It's just a lamp, these aren't even plugged in.
And just make it fast-paced and funny
Basically what I'm trying to say right
We'll get the elephant out of the room here
I wanna rip off David Dobrik not Jake Paul, okay?
So some of you might have seen my vlogs before, I've been putting them on the second channel
but basically I'm gonna take that concept - make them shorter, make them better and wack them on here
♪ Can we move on to Calfreezy?
♪ I'm sorry your content stinks
♪ How's my man got 2 mill subs?
♪ Looking like the real life Jar Jar Binks?
Joel's left his Twitter open, what we puttin right now?
Should we eyes emoji? Would Joel eyes emoji?
So I've gone for
"Realistically, if I wasn't having to deal with some Love Island nonce I would have bodied every YouTuber on a track by now"
Joel: Jesus Christ
♪ Callum McGinely
♪ Your face looks like an anus
♪ Sarah's going to leave you when she gets more famous
Will: One second, what you saying?
Calfreezy: One second what?
Will: Big man, the full f**king bottle
Will: This full bottle, I wanna see you fold it
Will: Come on, what you saying?
Calfreezy: I've seen the videos and I can do the videos
Calfreezy: Alright
Calfreezy: Three, two, one...
Will: Hang on, hang on. How much is left in this f**king bottle right now?
Will: You chat SHIT!
Calfreezy: Give me some respect, I did give it a go
Dead. It was dead.
Calfreezy: I gave it a shot
Him: How many seconds was it?
Will: One.
Calfreezy: I'm clearly taking the piss. You actually gave it a go and did shit
♪ Deji, I heard what you said about sidemen
♪ You need to chill your rage, mate
♪ Shit version of VannosGaming?
♪ But you're just a BTEC JJ?
Will: So you gotta push from the bottom into your mouth
Oi!
Will: This man's cheeks just inflate
Oh...
Oh, fair...
Will: Okay, big one, midway through recovery. Hit me with these 4 words for that bastard
Ginger: Um, 4 words that you need to sneak into your Uber ride home with the Uber driver
Ginger: Let's go for... premarital sex
Will: That's a phrase, you're allowed phrases. Phrases are good
Pink: How do you say... "Bioluminescence"?
Will, to Stephen: Oh shit, can you pronounce that?
Stephen: Yes, thank you
Ginger: Then I think we're gonna go for "dog bite"
Will: Dog bite, bioluminescence... what was the first one?
Stephen: Premarital sex
Ginger: Dog bite, bioluminescence and "KSI is my favourite rapper" or "favourite musician"
Ginger: "KSI's my favourite musician"
*Greeting Uber Driver*
Stephen: Do you go to any festivals?
Stephen: Like music festivals?
UD: Not really
UD: I've got two kids. I don't really have much time
Stephen: I've only ever been to one and it was called Bioluminescence or something
it was really weird
Will: Where was that, like?
Stephen: I dunno, it was near Reading
Will: Oh yeah?
Stephen: and there was a band called Dog Bite
Stephen: And they had a song called "Premarital Sex"
Stephen: It was so weird
Will: F**king hell, mate
Stephen: Very odd
Stephen: My favourite musician's KSI so...
Will: Oh yeah, fair enough
Stephen: I haven't seen him for a while
♪ Simon, that's Miniminter
♪ Let me put this to bed
♪ The only ammo that you've got mate is...
Girl: WillNE has a square head
♪ outro music ♪