Having a relationship that can stand the test of time is more than just being in love with
each other… It takes a lot of hard work, dedication and
commitment to one another. With approximately 50% of all marriages ending
in divorce, it’s a sensible idea to make sure your relationship is ready before walking
down the aisle. So, if you want to help to increase the chances
that your relationship will survive and thrive once married, and you want to know what you
need to consider before getting hitched… …Then this video is for you.
Today, we’re counting down the Top 5 Things Your Relationship Must Have Before Getting
Married. This can help you to evaluate whether your
relationship is strong and ready for marriage. And if you can’t tick the boxes for everything
we mention today, that's perfectly fine (and normal too).
Think of it as a guide that can help you to work towards creating a solid relationship,
that will then result in an everlasting marriage. Point number 3 in particular is something
most couples overlook in relationships, but it’s vital that it is worked on before getting
married. These tips are backed by research, so you
can rest assured that the information you will receive today is VITAL for a successful
marriage. Plus, coming up, we’ll tell you how you
can get a free gift: The Top 7 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Men Fall For You.
This gift is all yours, completely free of charge…
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But for now, let’s get started on our countdown of the Top 5 Things Your Relationship Must
Have Before Getting Married. Starting with:
Number 5: Independence While it’s great to know you always have
someone by your side, it’s important to keep your independence in a relationship,
too. A healthy relationship is where you can grow
as a couple, and grow individually. There is no need to change who you are and
end up feeling like you’ve lost who you once were.
And being married doesn’t mean that you need to stop taking care of your own needs,
just because you are sharing a large part of your life with someone else.
Being independent in a relationship means that you can take care of yourself and your
own needs, and carve out time just for you. You don’t depend on him and you don't require
him to look after you… … Nor does he expect this of you.
You want your partner to be there for you and it’s nice to have your lives intertwined,
but you don’t NEED him to be happy or to feel fulfilled.
If one person feels they need the other's attention, reassurance, or assistance all
of the time, this will weigh down the other person.
They will feel the struggle of looking after themselves and their own needs, while also
putting in a lot of time and energy tending to their partner.
...And this can cause a lot of unnecessary stress.
Make sure that both people have their own things in life that are separate to the relationship.
This may be having different hobbies, friends and interests.
Just because you want to share your lives together forever, does not mean you should
feel that you owe it to them to be by their side all the time.
Your relationship will be healthier and more stable if you can look after your own needs
and have adequate space from each other. Do you and your partner have your own set
of interests and hobbies? Have you found time apart from each other
occasionally to be beneficial to the relationship? Tell us in the comment below!
Next up is: Number 4: You Lived Together First
Living together gives you a pretty good look into what married life would look like.
It's almost like it’s a pre-marriage test... Because if living together doesn’t go well,
then your relationship probably isn't ready for marriage...
…And there may be a few things you need to iron out yet.
But if your relationship is strong and healthy, living together will help to deepen the relationship
even further, and give you an insight to what married life will look like…
…Hence why it is a great step before marriage. Living together before marriage is a lot more
common than it was several decades ago. In fact, statistics from the National Center
for Family and Marriage Research found between 1965 and 1974, only 11% of couples were living
together before they got hitched. And recent research has shown us that those
statistics have changed dramatically. According to the “Wedding Wires Newlywed
Report” they found that 77% of couples were living together before they tied the knot.
Think of it this way- it's a proper assessment of compatibility.
You may think you know your partner pretty well.
You love each other, you get along well, and you see a great future with them.
Even so, living together will change the relationship, which could be a good thing or a bad thing.
Will you be able to handle each other's habits and flaws?
How will you share the responsibilities? And, how will you handle conflict when you’re
in each other’s space more? Living together before marriage is extremely
wise and will only provide you a helpful insight to what to expect.
If you can’t live together before marriage for whatever reason, then that doesn’t mean
your relationship is doomed, either! It just means you need to make sure you feel
confident that your relationship has a solid foundation.
And, make sure you’ve had an honest discussion with your partner about all the ins and outs
of living together. Okay, quick challenge time!
Can you figure out what number 2 on our list is? Here’s a clue…
“You have the same views about [blank] [blank].” What do you think it could be? Have a guess,
and all will be revealed soon. Next up is:
Number 3: You’re On The Same Page About Finances
Being on the same page about how you spend money is very important, and it’s vital
that you have similar goals and values. Unfortunately, not seeing eye to eye with
finances can have some serious effects on the relationship.
You need to consider things such as: Will we be joining our bank accounts together?
Do we have any long-term goals, for example, saving for a house or holiday?
And who will be responsible for ensuring the bills are paid?
Basically, you need to make sure your goals and values about money are aligned, or at
the very least, similar. If one person wants to save every penny for
the future, and the other tends to buy everything they want as soon as their paycheck comes
in, then problems will arise from this. Did you know that approximately one-third
of couples have reported that finances have a large and negative impact on their relationship?
One study found that chances of divorce increased by as much as 45%, when one spouse felt the
other spent money irresponsibly. And not only that, research has found that
couples that disagree about money once a week or more, are 30 times more likely to get divorced.
Being romantically involved with someone will give you an insight to what their relationship
with money is like, so you probably have some indication already.
Make sure that you delve deeper than that, and have an open and honest conversation about
how you will spend your money once you’re married.
Put a plan together, and come up with strategies to reach your goals and overcome any existing
financial issues you may encounter together. Before we continue, we want to give you a
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Next up on our list of the Top 5 Things Your Relationship Must Have Before Getting Married,
is: Number 2: You Have The Same Views About Having
Children It’s impossible to know what the future
holds, and it can be hard to know exactly what we want, or how we feel about big life
decisions, such as starting a family. Maybe you are both fond of the idea of having
children together, but want to achieve other things in life first.
In this scenario, that would be perfectly fine, because you’re on the same page and
have a similar outlook of what you want as a couple.
However, if one person has expressed that they will never have children, and the other
always wanted a family, then this is going to be an issue.
And if you choose to ignore this issue, it will only rear its ugly head later.
It can cause couples to feel upset and angry that their partner doesn’t want the same
thing that they do… Or, it may cause one person to feel they have
to do something that goes against what they really want, in order to keep their partner
happy. This only causes resentment to build and the
couple to feel disconnected and unhappy. It’s also common for couples to not discuss
having children, simply because they haven't reached that stage in their lives yet, and
do not know how they feel about the situation yet.
While you don’t need to have an answer set in stone, you do need to have the all-important
conversation, just to get an idea as to whether your values and goals match.
Whether you are both open to the idea, or both not interested in having children, either
way, as long as you're both content with your decisions for now.
Discussing this with your partner may not be easy.
What if you don’t agree with your partner's views? What if the vision you had of your
future doesn’t line up with your partners? As hard as it may be, it's better that you
know this now and avoid possible hurt and disappointment when things don’t pan out
as you like. Having children is a huge commitment and has
a strong impact on every couple. So, make sure that you share your vision with
your partner and ask him to do the same. Okay, we’ve made it to number one on our
list of the Top 5 Things Your Relationship Must Have Before Getting Married.
Let’s continue to find out what it is: Number 1: You Communicate Well
Healthy levels of communication is vital in any relationship, whether you’re married
or not. Communication is needed in our lives each
and every day. And even though it has the power to cause
marriage to crumble, when both parties make an effort, communication levels can improve,
thus having a positive effect on the relationship. How does communication help us in relationships?
* It helps to avoid any confusion, that could later become an argument
* It builds trust in each other, as having open and honest conversations builds confidence
in the relationship * It helps us to support each other, as we
can understand each other's challenges and problems as they arise
* It helps us to destress and unwind, as we express our thoughts and emotions
A poll was undertaken on 100 mental health professionals, in order to find out what the
leading causes of divorce were. This survey found that 65% of couples divorced
due to poor communication. …So this shows how important communication
really is in a relationship. What every relationship needs is effective
communication. If you don’t have this, conflict will arise
and will most definitely cause a strain and have a negative impact.
So how can you communicate in an effective way?
1. Be clear and honest 2. Listen to what your partner has to say
3. Discuss any matters as they arise, rather than letting them fester
4. Speak to each other in a respectful manner And this isn’t just about dealing with issues
or important things in life. You also need to communicate about all the
little things too, for example chatting about each other's day, making dinner plans, or
organizing who is picking up the groceries. When you discuss the big and the little things,
you’re helping the partnership and respect for each other to grow and develop.
That wraps up today’s video on Top 5 Things Your Relationship Must Have Before Getting
Married. Don’t forget: You can claim your free gift:
The Top 7 Man-Melting Phrases That Make Men Fall For You, by clicking the link in the
description below. If you enjoyed this video, please click the
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