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CARY: SOMEONE OFFERED ME HEROIN, AND THAT'S WHEN IT
REALLY GOT DARK.
I WAS LIVING IN MY CAR, IN SEEDY MOTELS, HOMELESS SHELTERS, JUST
WHEREVER I COULD LAY MY HEAD.
NO ONE IN MY FAMILY WAS SPEAKING TO ME, AND THEN I LOST FULL
CUSTODY OF MY SON.
WHEN I CAME TO THE END OF MYSELF AND DECIDED THAT I COULDN'T DO
THIS ANYMORE, I LOST EVERYTHING.
I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PENNY TO MY NAME.
GINGER: DID YOU EVER ASK THE QUESTION, "GOD,
WHERE ARE YOU IN ALL OF THIS?" CARY: I FELT A MILLION MILES
AWAY FROM HIM AT TIMES, BUT I STILL ACHED FOR HIM AND I WANTED
TO GET BACK TO HIM.
IT'S JUST, I COULDN'T.
I WAS--I FELT LIKE I WAS IN SUCH BONDAGE.
I FELT LIKE THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD.
I FELT TRAPPED.
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GINGER: YOU HAD REALLY EVERYTHING GOING FOR YOU AT
ONE POINT IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU WERE THE HOMECOMING QUEEN.
YOU WERE INTO SPORTS AND YOU WERE A NURSE, BUT IT WAS
AN INJURY IN THE BEGINNING THAT KIND OF BEGAN A CHANGE
IN YOUR LIFE.
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.
CARY: YEAH, I INJURED MY SHOULDER PLAYING VOLLEYBALL.
I PLAYED A LOT OF INTRAMURAL SPORTS AT THE TIME.
AND I GOT PRESCRIBED LORTABS FOR THE PAIN, AND I TOOK TWO
AND THEY KILLED THE PAIN.
I PUT 'EM IN MY MEDICINE CABINET AND THEY SAT THERE FOR PROBABLY
ANOTHER YEAR.
I NEVER TOOK ANY MORE.
AND THEN I REINJURED MY SHOULDER AGAIN, AND I REMEMBERED I HAD
THOSE PILLS IN MY MEDICINE CABINET.
AND SO, I WENT AND TOOK TWO MORE.
AND OVER TIME, HERE AND THERE, I WOULD JUST TAKE A PILL HERE,
A PILL THERE.
AND THEN IT GOT TO BE WHERE ALMOST LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE
A GLASS OF WINE, I WOULD TAKE A PILL HERE AND THERE.
AND THAT LED TO AN OUT OF CONTROL ADDICTION TO PILLS.
GINGER: NOW, BEING IN THE NURSING FIELD, YOU PROBABLY HAD
ACCESS TO THOSE PILLS AS WELL.
THAT MUST'VE BEEN A PROBLEM.
CARY: I STOLE PILLS FROM WORK.
I CALLED IN MY OWN PRESCRIPTIONS.
I WOULD GO FROM DOCTOR TO DOCTOR, EMERGENCY ROOM
TO EMERGENCY ROOM.
WHATEVER I COULD DO TO GET MORE PILLS.
AND THERE WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, TIMES THAT I WOULD BE SOBER FOR
A LITTLE WHILE, BUT NOT LONG.
IT'S LIKE I COULDN'T STAY CLEAN.
I WOULD ALWAYS RELAPSE, TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
GINGER: NEVER FULFILLED.
CARY: NEVER FULFILLED, NEVER.
THE PILLS STOPPED WORKING FOR ME.
AND SO, YOU KNOW, LOOKING FOR PILLS ONE DAY, SOMEONE OFFERED
ME HEROIN, AND THAT'S WHEN IT REALLY GOT DARK AND DEMONIC.
GINGER: WHEN THE MAIN FOCUS OF YOUR LIFE BECOMES ALL ABOUT
THE DRUGS, AND THAT'S REALLY WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT ALL
THE TIME, JUST CHASING THAT HIGH, WHAT IS THAT LIKE FOR YOU?
CARY: YOU WAKE UP TO GET HIGH AND YOU GO TO BED TO GET HIGH.
AND MY ADDICTION GOT SO BAD THAT I WAS WILLING TO DO ANYTHING
AND EVERYTHING TO GET HIGH.
THAT MEANS BREAK THE LAW, IT MEANS STEAL, IT MEANS HAVE
SEX FOR DRUGS.
WHATEVER IT TOOK.
SO, YOU HAVE NO SELF-WORTH ANYMORE.
YOU LOSE ALL THAT, AND IT'S JUST--YOU'RE WILLING TO GET INTO
DUMPSTERS.
YOU'RE WILLING TO ROB PEOPLE.
YOU'RE WILLING TO STEAL FROM YOUR OWN MOM OR YOUR OWN
GRANDMOTHER.
I STOLE MY GRANDMOTHER'S RING THAT MY GRANDFATHER HAD GIVEN
HER, YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS.
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT IT BRINGS YOU TO.
IT BRINGS YOU TO DO THINGS THAT YOU WOULD NEVER DO OTHERWISE
EVER.
GINGER: SO, YOUR LIFE WENT FROM THE HOMECOMING QUEEN TO
THE LOWEST THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE.
CARY: JUST A REGULAR OL' STREET JUNKIE.
THAT'S WHAT I ENDED UP BEING IS JUST A STREET JUNKIE THAT HAD
NO HOPE, THAT WAS A CRIMINAL, AND A LIAR, AND A MANIPULATOR,
AND A THIEF.
GINGER: AND NOW, GOD'S TAKEN YOU FROM THAT LOWEST OF LOW
POINTS, FROM, AS YOU DESCRIBED YOURSELF, A STREET JUNKIE, TO
BACK UP TO BEING HIS DAUGHTER.
CARY: YES.
GINGER: TO BEING, YOU KNOW, A DAUGHTER OF THE KING.
CARY: YES.
GINGER: HOW AMAZING IS THAT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THAT JOURNEY
THAT YOU'VE BEEN ON?
CARY: IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY.
HA HA HA.
IT REALLY IS.
AND PART OF THAT LOVE STORY WAS THE DUMPSTER, YOU KNOW?
ISN'T THAT COOL?
GOD'S SO AWESOME.
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