okay this is a viewer mail we've done this forever and these people
uh write in their letters and we answer them yeah
here we go okay huh here we go again I'm sure
I'm sorry four thousand more of that you're taken out don't worry okay
I just I just it felt a need for an adjustment yeah all the time sure all right there we go
uh Dear Dave how come you don't pick on Dr Phil anymore Laura Jagger Colorado Springs Colorado uh
you know for a long time we did make a lot of fun at Dr Phil yeah and then he he got angry and he's
an enormous man and I was afraid he was going to hurt me yeah and so he came on the show and then
we worked out our differences and it turns out everything's fine so we really don't make fun of
him anymore because he was enough of a guy to come but I want to tell you there are some celebrities
you can't and can't touch them they're like golden calves sure is that golden idol well yeah yeah uh
for example Barbra Streisand if we there she is right there if we make jokes about Barbra
Streisand and she hears about it and doesn't like them she'll file a lawsuit we've been we've been
warned Time and Time Again by her attorneys I see yeah now on the other end of the spectrum
you know Tom Bosley beloved character Tom Bosley well he was in uh Charlie's Angels and Happy Days
oh Tom Tom yeah exactly that's right uh as far as he's concerned we can make all the fun of him we
want I'm happy yeah watch this watch this take it away Alan with his gigantic nose chamber managed
to James Brolin and over the top self-serving performances in films such as yettel Tom Bosley
has heard the reputation as the biggest [ __ ] in Hollywood honestly what an egotistical jackass
uh today when you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up Glenn olafson Centerville
Utah uh you know I always kind of thought maybe it'd be fun to have a TV show or something like
that oh really yeah and I got one here and uh yeah uh but you know on uh mention this
we did our 4 000th show on Monday and uh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
you get a lot of uh people responding well wishers and a lot of cards and letters and
a lot of they get the email of course and I gotta I got a videotape message from uh some friends of
mine and I thought it was very sweet of them and I'm going to share it with you tonight it's on the
occasion of my four thousandth show oh take a look on June 14 2004 David Letterman broadcast is 4
000th show in late night Dave we couldn't be happier that you're at CBS and we hope you
stay for years to come a message from the National Broadcasting Company and don't forget to catch an
all new Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight on NBC you see wasn't that sweet very thoughtful
here we go number three uh hey Dave which soft drink do you like better Pepsi or Coke
thanks Derek aldred Cincinnati Ohio I uh for some reason I don't know do you drink
much soda soft drink and that kind of thing I do once in a while yeah uh but yeah I was
talking to our stage of head Carpenter Harold Larkin and he was saying that he likes that
uh that new low-carb Coke oh I read about I haven't tasted that yeah and here to tell us
more about it is Harold Larkin Harold tell us all about the low carb Coke okay thanks Dave
today I'll be conducting a taste test of C2 Coca-Cola's new low carb soda C2 has half
the calories and half the carbohydrates of regular Coke but how does it taste
hmm it's refreshing and delicious and I can't tell the difference between regular Coke and C2
C2 is fantastic okay America it's time for you to decide what happens next do
you want Harold to continue to enjoy new delicious C2 or do you want Harold
to get kicked in the nuts by a fat guy dressed as Spider-Man vote now
time's up okay America you have spoken and it wasn't even close Spider-Man come on out
oh
thanks Harold you all right nice gun yeah thanks boss okay it is at the wind knocked out here
you'll be all right yeah okay all right let's close up the thing here we go
answer
thank you very much thank you
letter number four
you all right now dear name what part of your show do you enjoy the most Rick Styles Hilton New
York letter number four says uh geez I think you know what I love doing I love uh helping people
out of the audience I love doing nice things for the audience let me give you an example tonight
I'm told that we have somebody in the audience and he has planned a very special surprise for
someone he knows and cares deeply about the young man's name is Russell Matheson is there a Russell
Matheson out there right here Dave what do you have planned for us tonight sir nice to see you
well thanks for giving me this uh Russell hey thanks for giving me this
opportunity and excuse me Russell if this doesn't go well I'm sending out Spiderman
thanks Dave yeah for the encouragement um I just wanted everyone in America to know that
my Sarah is the most beautiful woman I've ever met oh and she means the world to
me and I'd be honored if she'd agreed to be my bride oh how sweet is that so yeah
wow
hi all right that's okay
I I was I was told there'd be no humping
I guess they didn't get the message I guess they did and you wonder why I closed it up a letter too