Games based on movies are usually bad, but...it�s been a while since we�ve seen one as bad
as this one. At least, the home console version...of this one. As for the handheld version...well,
there�s good news and some bad news.
Good news is...this one�s better.
Bad news is...it�s not that much better.
Fast and Furious: Showdown was released to coincide with the movie Fast and Furious 6.
How there�s a Fast and Furious 6 is just...incredible. I guess it shows that humans, as a species,
are completely incapable of quitting Vin Diesel. And I mean, who can blame us? With acting
like that. Such breadth of emotion, and character.
And hey...this game? It�s like the Vin Diesel of the 3DS.
So I guess the crux of the game is its Fast and Furious mode, which evidently ties the
entire series together into one convenient story mode. Of course, I imagine a lot of
the subtlety and nuance of the F&F saga had to be sacrificed, for that kind of shrinkage.
What you�re left with is obviously something much smaller and kind of wrinkly.
In terms of the gameplay, well...Showdown is a racing game, but it kind of does the
whole Burnout thing. Generally, you�re being chased by police or bad guys, so you�re
trying to fulfill your mission objective and crash their cars. Doing so gives your car
a health boost, and you get a little slow-mo close-up of the carnage.
Now, the
Burnout formula is usually a fun formula, so it�s a good game to copy for a Fast and
Furious game. And to its credit, Showdown doesn�t do a bad job with it. The game plays
just fine, even if the steering could be a bit tighter. You can use a nitrous oxide speed
boost, too, but...it�s not terribly effective. So the nuts and bolts work, but...Showdown�s
gameplay isn�t exactly creative, either.
There are also a bunch of these co-op missions, when you�re driving alongside some other
bro. Early on, for example, you steal a safe...but both cars have to pull. So you�re connected
by the rope, which obviously changes the way you have to drive. And that�s actually interesting,
but...it�s a single-player game. So...it�s AI co-op.
That�s substantially less interesting.
Another issue is that...I mean, if you like Burnout games, you probably like cars. The
styles, the models, things like that. And that�s one area where Showdown will probably
disappoint you. This is not a pretty game. The colors are blurry and muted, and your
cars kind of look like clunkers.
I mean, Vin Diesel wouldn�t be caught dead in one of those.
And I know that because he emotes so well, he�s made it abundantly clear.
Now, if you�re a big fan of the insightful drama that is the F&F saga, you might like
this. But for everyone else, feel free to leave this one in the parking garage. It�s
a decent racer, but...it needs an oil change. Maybe a paint job.
Seriously, how are there six Fast and Fury-i? Fast and Fury-i?