This is Splatoon in three minutes.
Let's splat on some stuff. Ew!
There exist two races underwater
the Inklings, a squid race, and the Octarians
you know, octopuses, octopi, whatever.
Both Inkling and Octarian citizens
used to actually like each other and get along well
but then the sea levels start to rise
flooding most of the available territory
and putting many Inklings
and Octarians out of their homes.
George Bush doesn't care about Inklings.
The fabled ancient Turf War begins.
Battle after battle
the Octarians and Inklings fight for territory.
The Octarians are victorious again and again.
The Inklings keep losing their territory
which is now covered in octopus ink.
This drives the Inklings out of the water
and onto ground, where they adapt.
The Inklings start to grow hands and feet
with phalanges and all that @#$%!
They make their new home underground
living in caves deep under the earth
the Inklings travel between them
through a network of interconnected transporters.
Because of what they look like
these devices are known as Kettles.
The people of Inkopolis discover the Zapfish
a rare electric catfish.
The Inklings harness them as their main source of energy.
They put their biggest Zapfish
the Great Zapfish in the city tower
where it supplies all the zaps.
The Octarians learn about the power
of the Zapfish
and how well the Inklings are doing for themselves.
The Octarians decide to assault the Inklings again
but this time, they're unsuccessful.
Thanks to their evolved superior limbs
the Inklings now have an advantage
over the Octarians.
Two thousand years later, the Octarians
now led by main antagonist and overall douche DJ Octavio
build an underground facility known as Octo Valley.
They use the facility to capture
and use the Zapfish from Inkopolis
not only draining the Inklings' primary energy source
but to use the power to make Great Octoweapons
weapons that would turn the Turf Wars
in the Octarians' favour again.
The Octarians build a transit system similar
to the Inklings' Kettles.
Captain Cuttlefish, an elderly Inkling
who's been around since the Great Turf Wars
helps an Inkling to become a hero
and save Inkopolis from the Octarians once again.
Equipped with the Hero Suit and Hero Shot
the Inkling hero infiltrates the Octarian facilities
in order to get the Zapfish back to Inkopolis
and preventing the Octarians from making their weapons.
Two birds with one sticky ink shot.
The hero makes his way through Octo Valley
covering Octarians in his hot ink spray, ew
and saving the Inkopolian Zapfish.
In the end, the hero runs into DJ Octavio
who has been in charge of stealing the Zapfish
and the Turf Wars.
And the Inkling
and the EDM Octarian do battle.
Ink is shot everywhere. Some beats are dropped.
It's all really colourful
but the hero sprays enough ink all over DJ Octavio and wins.
Ew, this is just gross.
DJ Octavio blows the @#$%! up.
Extreme ink ejaculation!
The Great Zapfish is returned to the Inkopolis Tower.
The City of Inkopolis throws
a surprisingly long and expensive looking party
to celebrate them getting their power back.
Two years later, the Inklings of Inkopolis
are pulled into another Turf War.
We're not sure with who yet
but you can be sure we're gonna spray ink
all over their faces
maybe get some in their mouth.
Guys, why are you making me say this?