- What to do, we have a connection
but he doesn't ask me out.
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Hi, my name is Greta Bereisaite,
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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But just before I answer your question,
what to do, we have a connection but he doesn't ask me out,
take my free test are you a high value woman
or a low value woman which you can find
in the video description down below also.
So now let's get started to get the answers.
Let's watch a little video right here.
- Hi Greta, so my question is,
I've been talking to a guy for three
or four months and we met twice.
We went on two dates but we basically
talk more than we saw each other.
We also did speed datings because of his work,
and I went home and I came back after summer
and he stopped talking and he said that
he doesn't want to commit to me because he might leave,
so he doesn't want to.
Which I thinks all excuses anyways.
So my question is how do I let go
of him because we had a great connection
and I feel like he's the one.
He also liked my pics and watches my Story
like Instagram but he never texts me
and I don't wanna chase him.
I learned that from you so I'm doing it,
but my question is how can I attract him back
or can I just move on and get over it
because I don't seem to be able to do that.
Thank you.
- So thank you so much for asking your questions.
Now ladies let's focus on some points that she made.
First, she said,
"We've been talking from three to four months.
"We had a connection, we had a bond."
Second what she said "We met only two times
"and it was a bit like speed dating" which means very,
very short dates right?
Third, she said she cannot get over him as she feels
he is the one, right.
And she's asking what to do about it right.
Oh my goodness girls,
so the number one thing is
we as women, we tend to bond with man a lot through
talking, sharing, caring,
talking about our feelings and emotions.
This is how we bond.
This is how we bond with other women, but this is how
we make best friends, we share and talk and we dig deep
and the more we share the more bond we feel right?
So her talking to this guy for three to four months
just online talking, what she was doing she was investing
a lot of her time bonding, caring and sharing.
This is how she got emotionally attached to him
as this is how women get attached.
Now, men do not get attached like this.
This is how women get attached right.
So what he was doing by talking to you like this
he was fulfilling your love needs right.
But you were not fulfilling his because men
do not get attached to that level as we do
through talking and bonding like this.
Men get attached through having fun together,
through you being a challenge.
Not wearing your heart on the sleeve and talking
and bonding through words.
Okay yes we feel the connection,
but it's not to the same as women do.
So what is happening here, this girl is totally connected,
she's totally bonded, she's emotionally attached,
whereas this guy doesn't really care.
How do we know that he doesn't really care?
Through his actions as he only asks her on a date twice.
Ladies if you want to know how much you mean to a man,
you always watch his actions.
The words, the bonding, the caring, the sharing,
the deep conversations, the wearing your heart on the sleeve
the blah, blah, blah, the charms, the power of seduction.
This is all, you know ladies if you like the fantasy
I would recommend you to watch movies,
lots of fantasy movies around,
I would recommend you to read books.
If you want the real true relationship,
a true connection with a man,
you watch his actions.
And you only decide to invest in a guy
after you have seen that he's into you through the action
that he shows you.
Right now here, there is zero action.
So she's basically hooked on a fantasy.
And she's so hooked on this fantasy that she's even saying
that I feel like he is the one.
This is how much we bond through talking and sharing.
And a lot of men knows this secret that women bond
through sharing, and this is what we do ladies,
we talk to you for months.
We let you emotionally invest for months
and when we eventually ask you on that date
we go straight in for the cookie, why?
'Cause it's all available for him.
It's all available for him 'cause you bonded,
you feel familiar, you feel secure.
Yeah, and this is how we get things easy and when after,
a lot of times we don't even care about you.
Ladies, so many guys through this game
get you fall into their trap,
get you wrapped around their little fingers
just with some blah, blah, blah for few months.
Before ladies, I really, really, recommend you to check out
my video package which is all about emotional control
and about the games that men play on women so you don't fall
for these little tricks.
You can find that package
in my video description down below.
So now we answer, what is the answer,
what should this girl do?
The first thing is, I would never recommend to any of you
to invest more than two weeks talking to a guy online.
Especially, if he's in your town, if he's in your city.
If he's let's say like "I live in London."
If a guy lives in London, I would not talk to him
for more than two weeks in order for him to ask me out.
There is just no point for that and majority of guys
literally ask you out on a first message that they send you,
if not it's the second or the third one.
So two weeks, me actually over-giving right here.
If a guy is talking to you for a few weeks,
it's becoming into a month, he is not that interested
to ask you out, or he has his own reasons.
And now you're turning into a pen-pal rather than
somebody that you could potentially date.
If you want a pen-pal that's cool,
but if you do not want that, do not invest your time
and energy in bonding,
getting attached, and living in a fantasy.
Because this is what it is ladies,
it's a fantasy, with no action it's a fantasy.
So if he's not chasing you there is nothing else that
you can do as a man should pursue a woman.
If you want him to be interested in you
because if you will pursue him, he's gonna get turned off
as when you pursue a man you actually coming across
as a "knight" with the shining armor
and making him feel as a princess,
it's a big turn off for a guy.
Do not chase men it is,
it turns them off.
If he likes your pics, let him like your pic.
If he responds to your Stories, if he gives you like
a little string along, a little bread crumb,
give a little bread crumb back.
But keep your options open.
Just keep your options open and try not to put
all the energy on him 'cause he is not worth it.
In the mean time if he gets back to you or he starts
a little conversations with you, always be high value,
always be the best version of your self.
Do things right.
Let him pursue you, let him chase you, don't wear your heart
on the sleeve, control your emotions.
Show him that you're living a happy life if he's asking
you about it, so you're focusing on your dreams,
you're focusing on your goals, you're happy
and you're not doing it for him,
you're doing it for yourself.
Ladies, don't fake it to man to look attractive
that "Oh my god, I live this wonderful life."
Do it for yourself first.
If you're faking it ladies, you're only lying to yourself
and that never works long term.
So ladies this is what you do if you have a connection
but he is not asking you out.
And if you would like me to answer your questions
completely free on my YouTube channel,
please send me your question in a video format
to my WhatsApp and I will do a YouTube video answering
your question on my channel.
So if you like my video please press like
let me know in the comments what do you think,
have you ever been in this situation before.
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Thank you so much for watching Queens Kisses from London.
Mwah.